Well, Chuck, the day started with a beautiful white blanket on the ground and the stunning sun in the sky….something I had missed for the past few days.
I knew this day would be great. School or no school. We all got dressed. I put on make-up. Elements my face had not seen the day before. Anna requested I “twist” her hair. I finally figured out she meant braids. She wanted four braids. I talked her into two. The true miracle of the day.
She hates the camera.
We ventured to the mall where I spent my usual dollar on this excuse for a carousel that my children never seem to tire of.
Okay, so far so good.
We ate a late lunch in the mall food court. By late, I mean 2:00 when I realized I had not fed my children. They didn’t seem to hold it against me.
Again, she HATES the camera. Hardly notices it at all.
Hotel For Dogs began at 2:30, so I knew we needed to post haste.
So, we headed to the theater, purchased our tickets and loaded up on our treats, which you practically have to take out a small loan for.
And, then it happened.
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I have no picture of this next climatic moment, so do your best to imagine the scene.
John Henry has his popcorn and Icee in his capable, growing hands. I have my Junior Mints in my purse and Anna’s popcorn and Icee in my hands.
“Mooommm! I want to carry my OWN popcorn and Icee!” Anna pleaded. Pa-lee-ded.
“Anna, you aren’t old enough to carry your own. You have to six years old,” I explained.
“But MOOOOMMMM!!!!” She let out one final whimper then tugged on my arm and somehow intertwined her leg between both of mine.
KER-PLOP!
Down I went. The least graceful face plant you’ve ever seen. Then, Anna followed suit.
The greatest victims were the popcorn and Icee, of course.
Brilliant.
Let’s just skip past all of the on-lookers who felt sorry for the poor little mother managing her children on a snow day. The kind movie food people (feel free to use that one) replaced my shattered items at no charge.
Of course, there was no replacing my dignity.
At least, the kids continued to enjoy their day at the movies.
As for me, well, I had to keep my left hand wrapped tightly around my cold water bottle to lessen the pain of the carpet burn I acquired in the trauma.
After the movie, we enjoyed what was left of our white blanket.
So did this guy.
Later, I self-medicated with a glass of wine and read this text from my husband:
“Oh no. You know I am falling down laughing right now.”
I had that one coming to me. I assure you.
School is back in session today. While there were a few rough patches in the past 72 hours, there were certainly a plethora of memories of made.
And, those are the things that life is made of.
“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow, what a ride!’” - Unknown
17 Comments
January 29, 2009 at 8:32 am
I’m sure there was a security camera that recorded the FLOP, a simple phone call and I’m sure you could get a copy…….=)
January 29, 2009 at 8:46 am
THAT WOULD BE GREATTTTTTTTTTT….CALL AND GET IT…LOL…you crack me up gurllllllllllll…..wuuuuurrrrrddddd!!!!!
January 29, 2009 at 9:26 am
Your blog is better than a journal…this will be a priceless treasure for you kids to have….keep it up girl!!!
January 29, 2009 at 10:04 am
Loved the story! When I read your twitter yesterday I was thinking you slipped on the ice….Only you, Dusty, could pull this off with such cuteness and dignity and make us laugh telling the story. Love you.
January 29, 2009 at 10:11 am
BAHHHAAAHAHAH.. OMG girl I can picture it now… No matter how much you think you got things together God just has to throw in a funny now and then.. I call it a hick-up.. or a reality check…
but you know he was laughing too..
January 29, 2009 at 10:17 am
You are such a good mom taking them to the movies=) Glad you are ok.
January 29, 2009 at 10:31 am
Awww first, I hope you are ok! Then, soo sorry you had to go through that part of life! But believe me, you will laugh about it ONE day!! You are a wonderful Mom!! It is how you responded that was how God would want you to respond, you got back up!! You had your camera to prove you are a trooper! Love you, great blog!
January 29, 2009 at 10:57 am
Judy, my plan is to keep blogging until my kids are in college. We’ll see. Can’t imagine people will still be reading this gibberish hardly fit for my own eyes.
January 29, 2009 at 10:58 am
you so clumsy!! haha that might could win you $10,000 on Funniest Home Videos!
January 29, 2009 at 11:52 am
I was think the same thing about the $10,000 on Funniest Home Videos. Did you end up wearing the Icee by any chance?
January 29, 2009 at 12:29 pm
i love anna’s paris hilton pose again in the first picture
January 29, 2009 at 5:06 pm
I read your blog daily smiling and nodding my head acknowledging, understanding and relating completely to what you’re throwing down. I’m pretty sure we’re related in some other life. You make me smile even when I don’t wanna. I feel your pain but I know you fell with grace. You’re much too cute not to. Anna Banana is a little poser… wait till she starts dating. Holy momma. Get a bigger wine bottle.
January 29, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Look, Dusty, you’re almost getting old … better take some advil or lots of wine (whine) before bed … you may get sore in the a.m. from “the fall.”‘
January 29, 2009 at 9:39 pm
HIlarious!
January 29, 2009 at 9:49 pm
I hope you didn’t get hurt and I feel guilty laughing, but the way you tell your story, I can so see it. You have a gift…you are great with words.
January 30, 2009 at 12:33 am
Guuurl. I hear ya. I had to link you in my post tonight. Ugh.
January 30, 2009 at 6:04 pm
by the way… did you ‘twist’ anna’s hair too tight on that right side… in every picture she’s leaning that way–