Comments on: Before You Pick Your Mate…

By: Des

Des — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 13:03:42 +0000

Empathy and grace.

By: Cindy Beall

Cindy Beall — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:17:56 +0000

They’re getting married one day?

Uh, I don’t think so.

By: Judy

Judy — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:09:28 +0000

“Guys, don’t prop your feet up thinking you have a good marriage. make all the other women jealous of your wife!!”

love that !!!!!!!

By: jason b

jason b — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:14:05 +0000

I fell in love with my esposa because of her appreciation for God’s forgiveness and mercy that I didn’t have. Its funny because she didn’t have the same church upbringing that I did but that makes us appreciate each other more because we know God did it and we just didn’t marry the person we felt fit our preconceived “mold”. I tell my girls, God will confirm it in your heart and in ours and it may not be the person that you think it is….. sometimes we like the idea of marrying someone but it may not be the right person. Guys, don’t prop your feet up thinking you have a good marriage. make all the other women jealous of your wife!!

By: Dusty Takle

Dusty Takle — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:17:10 +0000

Great stuff, everyone!

Dianne, you hit the nail on the head with “continue to teach, to guide, to influence.” And, of course, pray We are each responsible for the choices we make. But, those things my parents imparted to me went to my very core. I’m very grateful for that. And, their input meant a lot to me then and still does.

Aaron, I agree that we should look for more than just one thing in a potential partner. The point was to get people to just share one thing that stands out in his or her mind to create a collective list.

For me, and for many others I’m connected with, “a heart after God” isn’t just fluff. It’s an active pursuit after our Creator and wanting to live a life really makes a positive difference.

Also, God will not force another to do right – or “backhand” them into sanity. We all make choices that make our marriages good – or downright destroy them. Marriage is just about finding the right partner. It’s about BEING the right partner. And, that’s a daily choice.

I absolutely agree that we should seek counsel with people we trust. As for the pre-nup, I think it’s a personal decision. Not a pre-requisite.

Jennifer, the “make you laugh” part is a definite quality I appreciate!

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:48:08 +0000

Make sure they love GOD – they work hard – they make you laugh

By: Aaron L

Aaron L — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:51:07 +0000

1 thing to look for is nearly useless. Having a “heart after God” is on of those answers we used to call BS on in seminary. For us that stood for “Being Spiritual” but the connotation was the same. It’s a fluffy feel good answer if you can’t get specific about the meaning – and no using more spiritual jargon on the definition. God is GREAT! But he won’t backhand your spouse back to sanity when she’s screwing around with a friend, co-worker or your own pastor. At least not on a way he may recognize in time to make a difference.

Find someone you love, trust, and respect – without reservation.
then make sure your parents and mentors feel the same.
Then spend a year going to a professional marriage relationship counselor to work out the issues you never knew you had.

then work out a really good pre-nuptual. It’s uncomfortble, but doing it now while every one is “in love” is just good financial / family planning.

By: Brenda

Brenda — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:04:47 +0000

Faithful, loyal, and integrity along with good communication skills!

By: Linda

Linda — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:43:49 +0000

I believe that children learn most of what they believe from watching how their parents respond to each other. We are to model the love of God and love for others to our children. Integrity, respect, commitment, love, character, etc. are things they need to look for in their own family and the family they might marry into. We don’t just marry that one person, but we also marry into another family.

By: mike

mike — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:15:42 +0000

My girls….have someone love you like I love your mother. To Bo, make sure she walks upright and brushes and floss daily and has a sense of humor! Marriage is based on principles not personality. Many of us made good choices in mates but it can end in ruin with poor management. Unto much is given, much is required. I saw a young maried couple this weekend and I saw in them love being nutured in a fun kind of way. They keep that up, good stuff ahead. Love ya durstee!