Tag Archives: Love

That’s Not Fair!

There is no book or instruction manual that tells you how to handle every parenting quandary.  My lack of wisdom in dealing with various situations became even more evident last night.  I allowed John Henry and Anna to pick ONE movie to watch in their room together.  Of course, they picked two different movies.  And, of course, I thought out loud, “Hmmm. How can we handle this?”  John Henry suggested they pick a number between one and ten. 

Perfect.

They did.  He won.  She wailed.

It wasn’t very fair for Anna even if she would get her pick next time.  I could have told her the first shall be last, and the last shall be first, but I felt certain that wouldn’t have sped her recovery.  It was a hard lesson in life for a four year old.  A lesson we all learn if we live long enough.

Life is not fair.

It’s not fair that I’m only 5’3”.  It’s not fair that I have a digestive disease. 

It’s not fair that my very good friend, Josh, died at 27.  It’s not fair that there are children in India begging for food.  It’s not fair that a five year old little girl has a brain tumor. 

So many things in life aren’t fair.

But, if God was fair, we would all die and pay a price for our sins.  One of my favorite Cindy Beall lines on “God isn’t fair” is: “I’m glad He’s not.  I need His mercy.”  The promise of eternal life isn’t about God being fair.  It’s about His incomprehensible love and mercy.

Life may seem unfair sometimes.  But, God is full of mercy.  He IS mercy.  He IS just.  And, He is faithful to make all things work together for the good.

This, I know well.

As for Anna….well, her tender, sweet big brother parted her tears, and said, “Anna, we can watch your movie.”

Was that fair for John Henry?  Well, maybe he does have a grasp on the first shall be last truth.  Or, just maybe, he was being merciful to his little sister. 

Either way, I am so humbled to be that young man’s mother.

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He Said, She Said (Part Two)

I asked Kris if he would like to contribute any material to today’s post, and he informed me that one a week was his limit.  A man’s gotta have his limits. 

We’re talkin’ about what makes marriage a little sweeter – more like what makes it work.  Well.  Here are some things that I do (or don’t do.)

- I make an effort to never say, “You never….”  Nothing good can come from that approach.  When I have an issue, I am usually conscious to never address it as an attack.  ‘Cause sistas, let me tell you.  Your man doesn’t like to be made to feel that he needs to defend himself.  For real.

- I give Kris a few minutes to unwind when he comes home before bombarding him with Anna’s antics household issues.

- I say I’m sorry when I mess up.  And, when I say it, I usually include a “Babe, I was completely wrong.”  Why?  Because, that’s why I like to hear from him.

- I let some things go. 

- I tell him “thank you” often.

- I tell Kris how proud I am of him, and I reassure him of my faith in him.  For example, I might tell him what an awesome pilot he is.  Or I might tell him how I know he can accomplish anything in aviation.  Or, I just might tell him what an incredible dad he is.  Words of affirmation go long way.  A very long way.  I try to affirm him, in some way, every single day.

- I don’t use the “I’ve got a headache” excuse.  Want me to keep it real?  Just do it, m’kay?

I’m sure I could go on.  We have bumps in the road just like every other couple.  There are days that I put Kris on the defensive and have to go back and set it straight…..humbly.  But the days where we get it right?  Oh, life is good.  Really good.

Ladies?  Your thoughts?

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He Said, She Said (Part One)

I’m no expert on marriage.  I mean.  You know what they say, “You only get married twice.”  Tee-hee.  No tee-hee?  None.The.Less.   Kris and I have found a few things that make our marriage pur-tee nice.  I asked Kris to help me out with this post.  So, below are his little nuggets of wisdom.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you my favorite pilot (and my forever love), Kris Takle.

Kris says:

- Never drink your pregnant wife’s last caffeine free coke.  (*Note: Dusty is not pregnant.)

- Set goals for your marriage – for your family. 

- Whenever you feel yourself getting upset, try to see things from your partner’s perspective.  If that doesn’t work, count to ten.

- Even if you come home tired from work, it is important to still help out around the house.  Take care of your wife and the things that are important to her.

- Listen to your wife, and don’t try to fix her.

- When your wife asks you to pray for her, make sure she can hear you.  Made this mistake once.

- Hug your wife tightly every single day.  When I’m home, I hug Dusty every morning and every afternoon. 

Oh my word, y’all.  My husband cracks me up.  When I asked him if he had anything else to add, this is what he said:  “You know, I want to keep it short and sweet.  In case I get another guest spot.”

I love him.

I’ll share my little nuggets tomorrow. 

Okay, men.  Do you want to add to this list?

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You Cannot Lose My Love

You Cannot Lose My Love
by Sara Groves

You will lose your baby teeth.
At times, you’ll lose your faith in me.
You will lose a lot of things,
But you cannot lose my love.

You may lose your appetite,
Your guiding sense of wrong and right.
You may lose your will to fight,
But you cannot lose my love.

You will lose your confidence.
In times of trial, your common sense.
You may lose your innocence,
But you cannot lose my love.

Many things can be misplaced;
Your very memories be erased.
No matter what the time or space,
You cannot lose my love.
You cannot lose,
You cannot lose,
You cannot lose my love.

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John Henry & Anna Marie,

You cannot ever, ever, ever lose my love.

I love you,
Mom

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Love Is Having To Say You’re Sorry.


I usually do well watchin’ my tone with my husband.  I’ve also learned that how we express certain issues can come across as an attack; thus, causing my husband to feel the need to defend himself.

I usually do well with this.

Usually.

But, a few nights ago, I told him exactly what I thought about how he was handling a situation.  May as well have added a “So, ha!” at the end.  I left him in our family room and headed to bed.

So, he could stay up a while an mull that one over.  Sure ‘nuff.  Uh huh.  Take that Captain Takle.

Because, that approach is going to make him want to run out and fight hard for the love of his life. 

Orrrr, it’s more probable it won’t.

He came to bed shortly after.  I didn’t see any apparent revelations in his eyes of how right I was and how wrong he was.  He didn’t look at me and say, “Wow, Dusty.  The way you approached this one really got to me.  Thank you for showing me what is right.  I will change the way I handle this.  From now to forever more.  Oh, my sweet, sweet love full of such wisdom and beauty.  May, I please serve you Junior Mints in bed?  Because, you are way too skinny, and I love to see you delight in all things chocolate.”

It didn’t go anything like that.  As a matter of fact, my sweet husband said nothing.

Oh, beautiful conviction.  For me, that is.

The next morning, I approached him as a very different Dusty from the one the night before.  I told him how terribly sorry I was.  I told him I handled my feelings very, very poorly.  And, I asked him to please forgive me.  Because, I was very wrong.

When I told him how wonderful he is and how he didn’t deserve my attack, he said, “Yeah.  That’s kind of what I was thinking.”

I’m pretty conscious of how I address things with Kris most of the time.  But, I failed miserably with this one.  We probably all do from time to time.  A softened, repentant heart is what was needed here.  I knew it.  And, he received it. 

Whoever said “love is never having to say you’re sorry” was probably never married.  Long.

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We Won’t Always Understand.


I recently read this by Beth Moore and it ministered to me in such a big way.

“Life isn’t without some divine decisions that our mortal minds simply cannot comprehend.  At times, we cannot imagine why God couldn’t have just given us what we asked.  Sometimes our frustration lies in the fact that we know He could have, that He certainly had the power, but in His divine wisdom, He chose not to.  Hear this with your heart: God knows we can’t think like Him.  His ways and His thoughts simply are not ours (Isa. 55:8-9).  Sometimes the very essence of faith is trusting God in the midst of things He knows good and well we cannot comprehend.  Not that we won’t, but at times we literally cannot.”

I’m pretty dang sure God can move on my behalf any time He jolly well pleases.  So, I sometimes wonder why He doesn’t.  Why doesn’t He just say, “Yes?”

I can best relate this to growing up under my parents.  There were times they would not allow me to go off with friends.  “Oh, my life is ruined!”  Or, so I would think.

There were times they would not let me date some cutie pie.  “But, I’m in love!”  Or, so I would think.

I could go on and on and on with my disappointments from childhood.  (Just kiddin’, Mom.  Sort of.)  But, my parents loved me so much, that they refused to give me everything I wanted. 

Their thoughts were higher than my thoughts.  And, although I did not understand why, the decisions they made were the best decisions for me.  Because, they loved me.

I can see it in my own children.  “Why can’t I climb this fence, Mom?”  My Anna will ask.  “Because, you will get hurt,” I try my darndest to explain.  “I won’t!  I promise!”

She doesn’t understand why I tell her no.  She doesn’t comprehend that I love her so much that I will even upset her in the short run, so she can experience a more abundant life in the long run.

You might be waiting for God to move on your behalf right now.  You may not understand what in the Sam Hill is taking Him so long.  But know He loves you oh so very much.  His thoughts are higher than your thoughts. 

And, finally, remember this:

Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.  Psalm 30:5

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Self Portraits On Love Island.

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I love how I look gigantor in this picture next to Kris. What up with that?  Then, in an attempt to get some new profile shots for Twitter and whatnot, I took this self-portrait:

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What makes me laugh about this picture is Kris’ observation of how everyone looks/smiles differently in pictures they take of themselves.  It’s like me – but not really me.  Ya know?  Funny.  Good times.

We had a WONDERFUL time together on Amelia Island.  And I mean all caps WONDERFUL.  We finally viewed the much talked about “Fireproof.”  I looked over and saw a tear – or two – flowing down Kris’ cheek.  It wasn’t the emotional display he put on while watching Marley & Me, but he was noticeably touched by the film.  I doubt any of the actors would ever get an Oscar nod, but the story was a powerful one.  

Favorite line in the movie – and a thought I’d like to leave you with:

“Don’t follow your heart.  Your heart can deceive you.  Lead your heart.”

What does this thought mean to you?

 

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He stopped me in my tracks.


I was talking the other day with someone when another individual’s name came up.  {My apologies for my vagueness.  I’m sure you understand.}  I started in with comments like “the nerve,” “I can’t believe…,” “Puh-leese,” and even “he/she has some serious issues.” 

Brothers and sisters, Jesus was just pouring off my lips, wasn’t He?

Then, right in the middle of my compassionless spill, God spoke to me.

“See people the way I see people.”

Uh, you talkin’ to me?

He was.  So, I stopped right there, and gazed across at the person I was talking to, and said, “God is so good.  Do you know what He just told me?”

I went on to share with that person how God wants me to see people the way He sees them.  Then, I asked him/her to forgive me. 

It’s very hard to do sometimes.  Especially, when people do not live up to our expectations or behave in a way we deem inappropriate.  And, sometimes, these people hurt other people.  But, you know the saying:  “Hurting people hurt people.”

So, I just have to remind myself.  That person is a child of the Most High.  And, He loves him or her more than I can comprehend. 

God, let me see people the way you see them.  And, let me love them the way you do.

Do you ever struggle with this like me?

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Six years and one more little person later…

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Six years ago tomorrow, Kris Takle entered my life.  No, it’s not our anniversary.  But, it is a special day that we have acknowledged every year since.  Because, since that day, my life has never been the same.  Our commitment is based first and foremost on our commitment to Christ.  To live a life fully devoted to Him.  So, we can then be fully committed to one another.  Believe me.  We are well aware that when our “connective-ness” is out of whack, our relationship with Christ usually is, too. 

Our journey together isn’t without challenges.  We’ve faced difficulties and disappointments.  But, we keep on pursuing Him.  We keep on pursuing one another.  Because, we know that in every situation, the goodness of God can always be found. 

I can honestly say that I love him more today than I did the day I married him.  Cliché, I know.  But, it’s true.  So very true.  I hope fifty years from now we are still bringing glory to the One who saved us by His completely amazing, breath-taking grace. 

And, I hope we’re watching our children and grandchildren do the same.

Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.  Psalm 34:3

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He gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love.


My Valentine left yesterday for a trip.  I asked him before he left if he’d like his Valentine gift today, or if he preferred waiting until Monday upon his return home.

“Err, Monday will be good.”  He answered.

“Aha!  You want to wait until Monday, because you do not have me a gift!”  I responded, aware of my own marital trap.

“Exactly.”  He said.

“That’s okay.  I was just messin’.  I don’t have you one either.”  I told him.

I laughed.  He thought I was kind of mean.  I thought I was kind of funny.

I’ll miss him on Cupid’s little holiday.  But, I always miss him when he’s not sitting right beside me.  And, I can look into those Scandinavian eyes anytime and celebrate our crazy love.

While Kris’ love for me is pretty wonderful, it cannot compare to the love God has for me or for you.  He lavishes us with extravagance every single day.  Perhaps, we become jaded from over-exposure to things such as a bird chirping, a sunrise, or even our child’s laughter.  But, His love is extravagant. 

Even, when we mess up unbelievably, He still loves us.  Much like when our own children make a mess of things, our love for them never wanes.  Don’t we love them more today than we did the day before?  {Okay, so don’t answer that if you couldn’t get your kids in bed fast enough last night.  I feel your pain.}

I am forever amazed that we are the center of a divine love.  Wow.  It’s really hard to grasp sometimes.

And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.  Ephesians 3:18

Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day, Kris Takle.  You are my favorite person, and I love you big.

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