Tag Archives: pregnancy

Ten Years.

In many ways it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long.  In so many other ways, it really does.  Ten years ago at this time, I was two months pregnant with John Henry.  And, his dad left.

I guess I never imagined I would be in that place.  I certainly never saw myself divorced.  I never thought I’d be a single mother.  It was the single most heart-breaking, devastating time in my life.  Words were said that pierced me.  Actions taken that floored me.  And, I couldn’t imagine that my life would ever be restored back to where it was.

I spent the next few months busying myself with work, getting ready for a baby, and involving myself in the community.  I traveled to Chicago to an Arts Conference hosted by Willow Creek Church.  I headed up the campaign for my uncle who was running for County Commissioner.  He won, by the way.  And, I joined with city leaders in putting together a Memorial Service for the one year anniversary of 9/11.   And, in my down time, I cried.

But, I also prayed.

I prayed scriptures over Bryan’s life every single night of my pregnancy.  I prayed blessings over him.  In the middle of my pain, I cried out to the Redeemer.  And, I released forgiveness little by little until I no longer carried any anger or resentment.

I was still heartbroken.  There were times I would feel sorry for myself.  I’d cry the ugly cry.  My countenance would be less than inviting.  I remember during one of my pity parties, my dad told me, “You never know how you’re going to feel tomorrow.”  Of course, I knew how I was going to feel.  Exactly like I was feeling at that moment.

Until one day, you wake up, and the weight of it all seems a little less.  The hurt isn’t quite as painful.  And, before you know it, you are smiling.  And, you are staring into the eyes of a little blue-eyed baby boy who has changed everything.

September 24, 2002, I held John Henry.  I looked at my parents and said, “My world is right.”  It was.  The hurt was still there.  But it became less.  A few months later, Kris Takle flew into my life.  Literally.  Six months later?  We were married.  Six months after that?  We were pregnant with Anna Takle.

And, now ten years later?  My life is full.

It is redeemed.

I never believe that divorce is God’s best for one’s life.  But, I do believe He is a God of redemption and will make good out of messes.  I will never write about the nit and the grit of the words said or the actions during it all.  I really see no need, honestly.  It’s not where I live.  I don’t ever want it printed and posted to hurt John Henry or Bryan.

As for Bryan, he has allowed God to work in his life.  He is a great father to John Henry.  He is a great friend to Kris.  And, Kris is a great friend to him.  We celebrate holidays together.  We have vacationed together.  We aren’t “normal.”  We really didn’t think “normal” was working.  So, we just do things differently.

I would defend Bryan’s name until my last breath on earth.  Because, he is a good man.  And, I am forever grateful to him for John Henry Landreth.  I have learned more about compassion and forgiveness because of that little boy than I ever imagined possible.

John Henry is a constant reminder to me of how GOOD God is.

Anna and Jett are constant reminders of His redemption.

And, Kris Takle.  Well, you know what he is.

The one who made my heart beat fast again.

It’s been a good ten years.

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Filed under disappointment, divorce, gratitude, Life Experiences, Love, Motherhood, prayer, Writing

What’s Going On?

Thank you, Marvin Gaye.  I’m sure you’ve all been wondering the same, no?  Well, I’ve been a bit busy.  Well, not necessarily busy in the days leading up to childbirth.  However, it was becoming increasingly difficult to reach the keyboard due to the protrusion known as my then very pregnant belly.  Then, on March 22nd, this guy entered the world.

That’s Jett Kristian Takle, weighing in at 8lbs. 15oz and measuring 20 inches long.  Such a lightweight. 

John Henry and Anna were very excited to meet the little guy.  But, Kris and I quickly realized that we did not prepare them for things like, well, breastfeeding. 

John Henry:  “So, you just put food on there, and he licks it off?”

Anna:  “Can try some of your milk?”

Loverly. 

Now that we are past the 21 questions of “he came out HOW” and “what’s wrong with his belly button,” we are adjusting nicely.  Big sister, especially, loves to help with EVERYTHING.

And, both love to hold him.

We’re pretty sure Jett loves them, too.

We are blessed.  Sleep-deprived, but blessed.

It’s good to be writing again.  I’ve missed y’all.

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Filed under Kid Stuff, Motherhood, pregnancy

Sweetly Broken.

Pregnancy means waking up to pee every hour on the hour.  When I woke up at 4:00 am, I just couldn’t drift back off into sleepy town.  It happens often these days.  It’s usually because of my athlete in training or my mind running ramped of things I need to accomplish.  Then, there are times I just wake up and pray.  I pray for my children.  I pray for Kris.  I pray for people in need of healing.  I just pray.

It’s easy, especially in this stage of my journey carrying a child, to become self-focused.  I still read scriptures.  I’m still very aware of God’s presence in my life.  But, I can still focus much too much on wanting this baby-carrying journey to end.  So, when God centers me again, I want to fall down at the cross and thank Him for it.  He does it for me often.  He did it again at 4:00 am.

I made a little delivery room playlist on my iPod.  The first song on that playlist is Jeremy Riddle’s “Sweetly Broken.”  I haven’t been able to get these lyrics out of my head since my little wake-up call:

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

I’m so thankful for a Father who continues to beckon me, even when I become self-consumed.  I’m so thankful that He allows me to surrender my stuff to Him – sometimes the same stuff more than once or ten times.  I’m so thankful I’m in love with Him. 

And, that He first loved me.

Sweetly broken.  That’s me today.

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Filed under prayer, pregnancy, Spiritual Journey

I Love His Blue Eyes, Too.

He gets into trouble just like any other seven year old boy.  He can be silly.  He loves to entertain us with his renditions of songs from Elvis to the Steve Miller Band to our hometown’s Death On Two Wheels.  Then, he’ll hear David Crowder’s “How He Loves Us” and sing it with such a worshipful heart that he melts mine every single time. 

He’s just a really cool kid.  Of course, I could be slightly biased.  

Throughout my pregnancy, he has been patient.  Understanding.  And, always concerned for me.  He asks me daily, “Mom, how are you feeling?  Are you feeling okay?”  He has brought me breakfast in bed more than once.  The toast is always a little heavy on the strawberry preserves, but it’s perfection in my eyes.  And, when he prays out loud, he always prays for me and his little brother. 

I’m really not sure how I got so blessed, but I could not be more thankful that he is my son. 

John Henry, I love, love being your mom.

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Filed under Motherhood, pregnancy

Countdown to Jett Takle.

Thank heavens for mommas.  Mine was here for a few days to help me prepare for our baby boy’s arrival.  I’ve been motivated to get busy with his room.  However, my motivation had not exceeded calling a painter to paint his room. 

Here are a few pics of what we she accomplished:

I confiscated the biplane pic from our office.  Do you think Kris has noticed it missing yet?  I bet he does now.

As soon Jett arrives, we will fill this frame with a sweet little picture of him with his big bro and sis.  It’s low to the ground so he can see it….as are his hats.  Because, he is obviously going to be wondering where his hats are next month.

Of course, Anna Takle needed to make sure she was a part of the organizing process.  Or, at least, the photo ops.  What you don’t see in this picture is her third ponytail in the back.  And, don’t think I don’t have a picture of the back of her hair.  She insisted on it.

We are going to put a picture of Jett above his crib inscribed with a scripture.  I’ve been praying about that scripture, but I think I may have decided on one.  More to come later there.  And um, Jett will probably need to get here before I can complete that project. 

I’ll post more pics as soon as the room is completely finished.  Mom will probably be ready for a vacation when she gets back home today.  Between working hard on Jett’s room, doing my laundry, and entertaining John Henry and Anna, she insisted I rest.

I resisted every time for at least three seconds.  Then, she’d refill my water bottle, and I’d return to yelling loudly for Apolo Ohno. 

What would I ever do without her? 

I haven’t a clue. 

It’s been said that “a mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” 

That is my mother.  I am blessed.  Very, very blessed.

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Filed under Kid Stuff, Motherhood, pregnancy

The Eagles Said Take It Easy. So Did My Doc.

My lack of writing yesterday was due to a rough night and morning with a contraction or ten.  No.  I was not in labor.  Just a tad uncomfortable.  I decided to ease the pain by taking a relaxing, warm bath.  When Anna walked in and saw me, she giggled and said, “Mom, you’re too big for the bathtub.” 

Yes, she is still alive and well.

I called my doctor at the persistence of my husband.  The nurse requested I go to the hospital just as a precautionary measure.  Something, I clearly did not want to do.  But, I did.  Baby is fine.  I am fine.  To quote my nurse, “You are 35 years old and pregnant with your third.  Things just don’t hold together like they used to.”

Yes, she is still alive and well.

Actually, she was a very sweet nurse and took great care of me.  She asked if I had been over-doing it at all.  I told her I had somewhat of a, ahem, busy weekend. 

What did you think I was going to tell her?  “Um, well, I did go to Dallas and shop all day, then caught a flight the next day to Atlanta then back to Oklahoma two days after that.”

No. Dadgum. Way. 

But, Kris completely uncovered me and was like, “Yeah, I thought she was going to a conference….”

Yes, he is still alive and well.

I was sent me home with orders to drink plenty o’ water and take it easy.  I interpreted that as “Shopping is permitted, just take frequent latte water breaks.”

In better news, my mom is here.  And, that, my friends, makes my world a better place.  Well, that and a box of Junior Mints. 

So, there ya go.  And, no worries.  My self-esteem is still intact thanks to a husband who told me I am beautiful.  He listened well to my dad’s message on Sunday.  That being said, go compliment your spouse today.  It might be exactly what he or she needs to hear.

Okay.  I’m taking a water break now.

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Filed under pregnancy, Shopping

Before You Were Born.

I really do need to be still.  And, apparently quiet.  I’m sure if you asked my husband and children, they’d bear witness.  Take last Thursday morning, for example.  I was certain my two children were hiding from me, and it was time to go to school.  I turned into Monster Mom and threw out a warning or three.  Kris immediately turned to me and pointed towards our family room. 

“They are sitting on the sofa,” he said softly. 

“Ohhhhh,” I replied lacking all ability to redeem to myself.

I then heard my husband tell the children, “Come on kids.  Let me take you to school where it’s safe.”

Hence, my theory that they would appreciate some stillness with a little quiet on top.  But, the unpredictable mood swings will all be a distant memory before we know it, yes?  We have finally begun to get ready for the arrival of Jett.  That’s his name, by the way.  We are in the process of turning our guest room into Jett’s nursery.  My other two little people refer to the guest room as “Nan’s room.”  Anna has thought it unfair that Jett gets Nan’s room.  Last night, she locked the guest bathroom door.  When, we questioned her about it, she said, “I don’t want Jett to come out and mess with Nan’s stuff.”

It’s a whirlwind here, folks.  But, it’s a good whirlwind.

Because, God is right in the middle of it. 

I’m growing this awesome baby boy. 

Who is going to bring so much joy to this family.

My prayer is that he knows how excited we are to meet him.  How much we love him.  And, more than anything else, how much his heavenly Father loves him…..Who already met him long ago.

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.  Before you were born, I set you apart…. Jeremiah 1:5

You see?  There are no accidents.  Because, God knew YOU before YOU were born, too.

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Filed under God Stuff, Kid Stuff, Motherhood, pregnancy