Monthly Archives: August 2008

August 15, 2008 · 6:00 am

First Day.


The night before John Henry’s first day, I read to him The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn.  What.Was.I.Thinking?  I barely made it out of his room in one piece.  It’s a sweet story about a little raccoon’s fears of starting school and a mommy raccoon who calms him with the clever “kissing hand”.  She kisses his palm then closes his little hand.  So, if he begins to miss his mommy, he can just open his hand and touch it to his cheek and say, “My mommy loves me.”

So, I kissed John Henry’s hand.  And, he kissed mine, so I could do the same.

The big day arrived, and he got dressed for school.

He walked through big boy doors.

Put his backpack in his locker.

Sat down in his big boy chair at his big boy table.

And wondered when I was going to stop taking pictures. 

If the look on his face wasn’t my cue to leave, then maybe this was.

Yep.  That about summed it up.  He couldn’t have said more.

So, I walked out of his classroom.  And, he never saw my tears.

But, it was me holding my hand to my face saying, “John Henry loves me.”

 

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August 14, 2008 · 6:00 am

I start Kindergarten today.

Well.  My little boy begins Kindergarten today.  I spent last weekend searching every Target store for the 8 count box of Crayola Crayons on John Henry’s supply list.  Four boxes requested.  None to be found.  Only the 64 counts and 2 million counts.  I finally went to a Walmart – a store I avoid like the plague.  Turns out, it was 8 count Crayola heaven.  And, I stocked up on them like it was Y2K.

I was also able to sort out the online uniform order debacle.  I ordered shirts that would fit Anna perfectly and pants that would fit me.  Okay, so me when I was like 10.  It was a stress point, nonetheless, and I worried that I was too late in working out my very poor guesstimate of John Henry’s sizes. 

All things were handled just fine.  Kind of made the stress of it all seem so petty.  But, stress is an entirely different post.

I’m pretty confident in the fact that John Henry is ready.  I just don’t know that I am.  I mean, sure, I’m ready for the welcomed mommy breaks like all moms who endure summers with school-aged children. 

 It’s the realization that “toddler” no longer describes him.  That his awareness to sometimes unkind children and injustice is about to be awakened.  That I’m going to have to sit at a table every afternoon and practice writing letters and telling time.  It’s not that we don’t work at the table anyway.  But, the pressure just isn’t there.

No more sleeping until whenever.  Or, being lazy lima beans until whenever.

School begins at 8:30 A.M.  Not 10:00 A.M.  This fact alone makes home-schooling that much more appealing.  But, we can do it.  Yes.We.Can.

Casey, could you please play, “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday” by Boyz II Men?

Here is where you come in moms and dads.

Do you have any advice for this first-time mother of a Kindergartener?  Commenting will be open all year long.  For real.

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August 13, 2008 · 6:00 am

You love me! You really love me!


I obviously stole this title from Sally Field.  What I mean is you love me.  And, I love you.  Don’t we all appreciate each other more when we are our true, authentic selves?  This post on Swerve was a good one on “My Path to Me.”  I like how Scott Williams always says “Do YOU!”  And, Robin Meadows commented how this is a great lesson to teach our children. 

I credit Robin with the idea for this post.

How do we teach our children that they are fearfully and wonderfully made?  That God created each of them with different gifts?  That they should never feel the pressures to be like someone else? 

Because, when they are their true, authentic selves, they can change the world.

It’s a hard lesson to teach when we ourselves struggle in this area.  To be fashion forward, I need to wear what she’s wearing.  Maybe, if I had his job, I’d be happy.  If I could just be the mother she is or the father he is, then I’d get this parenting thing down.  Nothing wrong with receiving guidance from someone else.  We just can’t be that someone else.  Lord knows, I take all the parenting advice I can get!

I remember the first (and only) time I spoke at dad’s church.  I’ve listened to and been surrounded by some pretty spectacular ministers – all of whom have imparted to me.  But, they did not create me.  God did.  The day before I stood behind that pulpit, my dad told me to “remember, what comes from the heart, goes to the heart.”  In order to make this happen, I couldn’t be my dad, or any other speaker I had ever heard.  I had to be me.  I probably had some hits and misses here.   Some points were all me, others were probably someone else.  Maybe that’s why dad hasn’t asked me to speak again.  Hmmm.  Oh, sidebar.

I’ve also been in the process of discovering my own blogging voice.

Probably the best way to teach our children not to jump off a bridge just because their friends jumped is to model this behavior ourselves. 

Be who God created YOU to be.  And, just maybe our children will follow.

How do you teach your children to be themselves?

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August 12, 2008 · 6:00 am

The Journey


In yesterday’s post, I mentioned how I have been one of those to struggle with the journey part of the sweet spot.  I can think of about a hundred quotes and lines from songs to insert here.  “Life’s a journey, not a destination.”  “Life’s a dance, you learn as you go.”  “It’s my life, it’s now or never.  I ain’t gonna live forever.”  Well, maybe not the Bon Jovi one, but you get the picture.  I thought I’d share a wee bit of my journey  – or some sweet spot moments.

I used to think that the call of God on my life would be some sort of promotion.  A final destination where I stepped into His ultimate plan and walked out my dreams and passion for Him.  I have felt a call into ministry since I was a youngin’.  For a long time, I waited for that glorious day of graduation into “the ministry.”   I’m glad I’m not waiting for that day anymore.  I’m not ready to reach some self-created destination.  Once I get to the end, it’s over.  It really is about the journey.

After I finished college (Go Panthers!), I began teaching school.  For four years, God allowed me to pour into young minds.  Scary, I know.   I could not begin to count the multiple opportunities I had to minister to some pretty amazing kids during this time. 

I soon felt God leading me to go work for my dad full-time, and I left the educational field.  I was in a wonderful position to really see how each ministry operated, and I fell in love with every part – from the local missions to the Sunday morning worship.  Before I knew it, dad’s notes were on the screen for all to follow.  But, I certainly learned much more than I gave.

By the end of 2002, I gave birth to my firstborn.  And, he became my most important mission field.  In 2003, I married Kris and moved to Oklahoma.  And in 2004, Anna Banana made her debut.  Talk about a mission field!

Thanks to the conveniences and luxuries of the internet, continuing to help dad and the ministry of Eagles Way Church has been possible.  Each week, he sends me his notes.  I edit and add to them.  He scratches off my insertions, and still does it his way.  But, on the rare occasion, he lets my thoughts ride.  On occasion. 

I started this blogging thing.  It’s a ministry of some sort – minus the spider stories, road trip adventure recaps, and C.I.A. radar fears.  I hope that I am able to show a little bit of a big Jesus from time to time. 

My greatest ministry is to my husband and children.  Jesus knows that there is no greater call than being a momma.  My ministry to and with Kris is always an adventure.  You should have seen his face when he realized that Samson and Delilah were not from Kentucky.  And, the story of Jonah was not a Disney movie.  Of course, he still denies the authenticity of Jonah.  “No way a man can live in a big fish”, he says.  It’s the only Bible story he refutes, so I just leave it with the Holy Spirit.  Good luck, Holy Spirit.

That’s about it for now.  Am I doing what I thought I would be doing ten years ago?  Not exactly.  And, am I living where I thought I would be living?  Heck no.  But, it’s my journey.  And, as along as He remains at the center of it, I’m okay.

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August 11, 2008 · 7:00 am

Finding your sweet spot.


On occasion, I hear someone tell me that he is doing exactly what he was called – or designed – to do.  Many other times, I hear the frustration in someone’s voice who is unsatisfied with where he or she is in life. 

Then, there are times, where we just fail to appreciate the journey.  I tend to fall into this category.

How do you know that you are functioning in your sweet spot?  I tend to believe that when we are walking in obedience with Christ, that He is ordering our steps.  And, when He orders our steps, it’s pretty hard to not be where we are supposed to be. 

There are a ton of self-help books to help guide people in living a fulfilled life.  Max Lucado’s Cure For the Common Life is all about aiding readers to discover the life they were created to live.  Rick Warren rocked the world with his very popular The Purpose Driven Life.  And, while I’ve read and enjoy both books, I feel that there is no special code to break in discovering His will and our passions. 

For me, it’s about prayer, and it’s about obedience.  Kind of a simplistic view of faith but a powerful one.   

And, while we may get frustrated where God has us at different times, the ability to rest in knowing that He is placing each stone in front of us to step on changes everything.

Allowing God to direct our steps reflects that we are indeed made righteous.  Not righteous due to our own doing but due to His grace.

Psalm 37:23 says the Lord directs the steps of the godly.  He delights in every detail of their lives.  I especially like the latter part of this verse – he takes pleasure in even the smallest parts of our lives.  To quote Anna, this “big, giant God” cares for every detail of my life and yours.

When we obey Him, He guides us.  When we let Him lead, we will surely settle into all He created us for.  It may not always take the shape or form we expect it to.  But, I feel confident that His road leads us to our sweet spot.

Thoughts?

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August 8, 2008 · 7:00 am

If He can send frogs from heaven, He can certainly sweep up spiders.


I’m not a fan of the spider.  I mean, in general, spiders do not bother me.  But those deadly ones, well, they tend to make me brush my shoulders at the mere thought of them. Yes.They.Do.

My good friend cleans my house.  Yes, this makes her a really good friend.   She informed me that she killed two brown recluse spiders in my house the other day.  Loverly.

I immediately advised my knight in shining armor of our house being overcome by poisonous arachnids, knowing he would draw his sword and fight every single multi-legged creature to the bitter end. 

“Call Orkin,” he suggested.

Oh, Kris, you steal my heart.  And, I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse, and my husband who sat upon him was called “Scared of Spiders. “

So, yesterday morning I found myself praying for protection over my children.  “Oh, Lord, do away with these spiders with your miraculous power!”  I’m not sure why exactly I started praying like one of those old time television evangelists.  It just seemed appropriate.  Before you know it, I’ll stop wearing make-up and my hair will be in a bun. 

A spider-killer from Orkin came for a visit after I let the Holy Ghost loose in the house.  She (hear that Kris?  SHE?) did some sort of spider-killing treatment.  I’m hoping those crawlers are gone in the name of Jesus.

At times, I feel a bit silly praying for such things.  But, then I remember, what concerns me concerns Him. 

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.”  1 Peter 5:7

Lord knows, those arachnids worry me.

Anything worrying you?

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August 7, 2008 · 7:00 am

Gas Prices & Cigarettes


This is not my story, but it should be.  ‘Cause it’s so ridiculously funny.  Falon, our friend and former nanny, is the owner of this story.  No, she is not a “former” nanny, because we let her go.  How insane would that have been?  And, she is not a “former” because Anna had licked her face that one last time.  Falon probably encouraged such unacceptably social behavior.  Falon found love, moved to Tulsa and subsequently ripped our little hearts out – leaving me with two children who think AC/DC sings the national anthem. 

Before I chase any more rabbits about how good life used to be with our Falon, here is her story as told by Falon herself. 

Wednesday morning, I made my daily stop at the Gas Station I call my own.  With gas prices sky high it is normal to hear at least one “gas price” comment.  Wednesday was no exception.  It was however one of the funniest I have heard.  There were two women in line in front of me talking about gas prices.  Here is how the conversation went:

Woman 1:  “Gas prices are &*$%(@ high!”

Woman 2:  “I know.  It just p$%*@ me off.”

Woman 1:  “They need to do something about it.  I don’t have any money for food and stuff!”

**another 30 to 45 seconds of gas price comments**

Cashier:   “What can I get you today?”

Woman 1:  “I need 8 dollars on pump 3, a carton of camel lights, and 10 scratch-offs.”

Everything is relative, eh? 

Oh, Falon your stories are funny.  Just think how much funnier they would be if you headed back south.  Your 401K plan would include a lifetime membership to the Oklahoma City Zoo.  How about passes to the Science Museum for bonuses?  Life could be grand again.

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August 6, 2008 · 6:00 am

Make sure you wear clean underwear!


Today is my mom’s thirty-ninth birthday.  In honor of her birthday and motherhood, I thought I’d share how parallel our universes run. 

You know those things your mom said to you that you swore you’d never say to your children?  I pretty much say them all….and I haven’t even hit the teen years yet.  Here are just a few:

In or out!

You will get in trouble, but you will get into more trouble if you lie about it.  (Kind of like the Driving Miss Daisy shenanigans I tried to pull.  Blast.)

You can wipe your own.  (Oh wait, is that not so common?)

No snacks.  We’re about to have dinner.

Did you flush?

You are not allowed to roll your eyes.  (Note:  My parents only saw me roll my eyes once.  Once.)

When I tell you something, do not respond with “I know.”  Just say, “Yes ma’am.”

The latter is my recent struggle with my 5 ½ year old who remarkably already knows how to golf, play guitar, and do calculus. 

Things my mother didn’t say – but an idea of what goes on in our sweet home:

Do not pee on the dog.

Do not pee in John Henry’s suitcase.

If you take off your clothes, leave on your underwear.

Anna, please stop telling strangers you have a surprise for them and following up by removing your shoe and saying “Stinky shoe!!!!” 

Your turn.  What did your mother say to you that you say to your little darlings?  Or, what things have you said to your children you thought you’d never have to say?

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August 5, 2008 · 6:00 am

Motherhood just got easier.


I was looking back through some old writings and found this one.  I recorded this a year ago today.  It was a good reminder to chill out – and more importantly, remember to be grateful. 

As written August 5, 2007:

I won’t argue that being a mother is one of the toughest jobs in the world.  My days are filled with settling disputes between brother and sister, kissing boo-boos, reading books (and making sure I’m in character when doing so), and meeting my children’s basic daily needs.  All the while, it is my responsibility to make sure they learn the importance of kindness, acceptance of others, and why God should be at the very core of who they are as human beings.  Tough at times?  Yes.  Time-consuming?  Of course.  Nonetheless, such responsibilities could be greater.

 

On a usual play day at our neighborhood mall playground, I saw another mom who looked a lot like me….not in a physical sense, but just your usual run of the mill thirty-something mom.  While I watched my children climb to the top of the big baseball and jump off like super-hero wannabes, this mom participated in the play with her special needs daughter.  I’m not certain of the exact challenges that this little girl faces daily, but I do know that she could not talk or walk on her on.  So, I watched as this mother would pick up her little girl and hold her while she went down the slide that my children can climb up on their own (and usually the wrong way).  She continued to bounce her daughter into the air so she could experience the laws of nature that my children can experience all by themselves.  This mother made sure that her daughter had the best day she could possibly have.  The toughest part of my day was chasing after my two-year old who ran out of the Subway in the food court while I was paying for our food. 

 

One day my children will grow up and be on their own.  They will come and visit me and call me on Mother’s Day.  I will enjoy the luxuries of travel and whatever it is you do when your children leave home.  This mother will be caring for her daughter for the rest of her days on earth.  These are the mothers who deserve the standing o’s and hand claps.  So, the next time I’m wiping up the milk that my little girl intentionally poured on the floor, I will remember, “This is easy.” 

 

Let me leave you with this excerpt from “If I Had My Child To Raise All Over Again” by Diane Loomans:

 

If I had my child to raise all over again,

I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.

I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I’d do more hugging and less tugging.

 

I hope I will remember that’s the easy stuff.

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August 4, 2008 · 6:00 am

The Sunday Experience


I love Sundays.  It’s the first day of the week.  It’s a day we set aside to honor our Creator – for the local church to worship together, celebrate together, and grow together. 

 

We were on one of our weekend Georgia visits, so I worshipped at the home of my spiritual roots.  Dad began a series on minor prophets.  It’s really a series on minor league prophets with major league issues.  Yesterday, he covered Habakkuk. 

 

What stood out the most to me besides the obvious despair, questioning of God, and rescue was that God was always in the middle of the mess.  How easy it is to be in the middle of our stuff – our valley – our own despair, and wonder “where is God in this?”  We pray fervently for Him to do something.  To deliver.  To take away the heartache.  And, we question His presence in it all.

 

A good friend of mine is really going through a difficult time.  Someone told him recently, “God is behind the scenes working in this.”  His response made me laugh:  “If He’s behind the scenes, man, He is way behind the scenes.” 

 

It feels like that sometimes, doesn’t it?

 

But, He is.  Not only is He behind the scenes, He is in the middle, and He is already ahead of you.  Pray that God will open your eyes to see Him in your difficulty.  When Elisha’s servant told him that enemy armies were standing against them, 2 Kings 6:17 says that “Then Elisha prayed and said, “O Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” And the Lord opened the servant’s eyes and he saw; and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

 

God, open our eyes and let us see You.  That you are a God who goes before us and makes a way. 

 

Not sure what I’d do without those Sunday experiences.  It’s a great start to a week, and an even better reminder that God is on the throne.  And, He deserves my praise.

 

How was your Sunday experience?

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