This is a tough one. At some point in life, we are going to have to confront someone on something. It’s never easy. At least not for me. Employers face confrontation often. I’ve watched Kris address various situations with our pilots. He’s pretty straight forward with them. And, when the ball is put in my court, I’m more like “Oh, heyyyy. You think maybe you could empty the coffee on the airplanes when your trip is over? I know it’s a lot, but it would really help us out.”
Kris is not so sugary. Not.One.Bit.
I’ve had to teach my children, well, John Henry, how to use words to stand up for themselves. I want them to feel empowered to guard their hearts. When someone says or does hurtful things, I’ve told them to tell that person that they don’t like it when he or she does or says __________________.
Anna does not struggle with confrontation. She is like her daddy that way.
Confrontation is not something we look forward to. But, it is necessary.
How do you handle confrontation?
Have you talked to your children about confrontation?
6 responses to “Confrontation”
I do it. It’s uncomfortable, but like you said, necessary for many things. Especially preventing bitterness to take root.
When I confront, I never, ever start out with the negative. I always find something positive first, then confront, then share something positive again. I like to call it my compliment sandwich.
And there you go.
Weelllll, that is HARRDDD! It usually means, you will either be listened to, or ignored, or not so nice things coming back to you. I have been more confrontational in the past year, then usual, but if I let it build up, it isn’t good, usually tears, anger, stuff. Good blog Dusty! I struggle with it too, but with the height of things lately, i confront, or just say it….lol good or bad, not sure yet at times.
Shoot straight from the hip….don’t sugar coat it, stand up for what you believe in, and don’t let anyone walk all over you or try to change what you think or feel. In Nursing school, we were taught that “Feelings Are”. Over the years, I have noticed that you can say exactly what you want to someone and if you use your non verbal skills, smiling and joking around, they really don’t know if you are kidding or serious. If a statement is made and it is followed by BUT that means everything that was just said before the BUT was not important anyway. Think about it…the next time you hear someone say something to you and then says BUT…..that is what they really wanted to say in the 1st place. You can also watch “Never Back Down”, good movie…Never back down, never give up, and never tap out! I taught my kids a long time ago that life isn’t fair, so get used to it AND only fairy tales end in…and they all lived happily ever after. My husband who owns his own business says that the first time he had to fire someone for not doing their job was hard but each time it gets easier…..I think Anna has the concept, as far as JH goes, tell him to call his Black Belt Mamma, his Aunt Brenda, or Anna for backup when needed! And remember, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
Ask Lance…he would always say….”Mom don’t askkkkk me if I WANT to clean my room or take out the trash….OF COURSE I DON’T WANT TO”…it is very hard for me to just confront an issue…BUT I CAN….but usually I have tried everything possible to keep from having to….
I don’t do well with confrontation at all. Jim, my boss, has no problem with it and my husband Jeff has no problem with it. When I have to deal with an issue, I am like Cindy, I find a positive first and then try to go about the issue constructively. Never easy and sometimes that method doesn’t work. I’m not much of a hip shooter but I find, as a woman, sometimes you have to be, especially in this line of business, to be taken seriously. Just yesterday after I picked Marcus up at school, he told me he didn’t have a very good day. I asked him why and he said his “best friend” Pierson, hurt him again in aftercare. He grabbed his arm and pushed him to the floor. Marcus said he told him to stop doing that several times but he wouldn’t. (This has happened before) I asked him if he went to his teacher about it and he didn’t because he didn’t want Pierson to get in trouble. So I’m afraid Marcus is much like his momma, he wants the situation to be corrected but does not want there to be conflict. We went on to talk about friends vs. bullies and right vs. wrong and the Golden Rule. So I think he is equipped today with God’s armor but I pray everyday for His strength to stand up for myself and to lead in a Christlike demeanor. Confrontation is a very hard subject for me.
Confrontation? I don’t know what that means. I’m a CHICKEN! I worry so much about hurting people’s feelings. Problem is that when I don’t confront the situation it generally involves extra work for me, and who needs that? I have said for years that I wish I was bold like Shari O and spoke my mind. She is blissfully happy and I think that is one of her trade secrets.