I was looking back through some old writings and found this one. I recorded this a year ago today. It was a good reminder to chill out – and more importantly, remember to be grateful.
As written August 5, 2007:
I won’t argue that being a mother is one of the toughest jobs in the world. My days are filled with settling disputes between brother and sister, kissing boo-boos, reading books (and making sure I’m in character when doing so), and meeting my children’s basic daily needs. All the while, it is my responsibility to make sure they learn the importance of kindness, acceptance of others, and why God should be at the very core of who they are as human beings. Tough at times? Yes. Time-consuming? Of course. Nonetheless, such responsibilities could be greater.
On a usual play day at our neighborhood mall playground, I saw another mom who looked a lot like me….not in a physical sense, but just your usual run of the mill thirty-something mom. While I watched my children climb to the top of the big baseball and jump off like super-hero wannabes, this mom participated in the play with her special needs daughter. I’m not certain of the exact challenges that this little girl faces daily, but I do know that she could not talk or walk on her on. So, I watched as this mother would pick up her little girl and hold her while she went down the slide that my children can climb up on their own (and usually the wrong way). She continued to bounce her daughter into the air so she could experience the laws of nature that my children can experience all by themselves. This mother made sure that her daughter had the best day she could possibly have. The toughest part of my day was chasing after my two-year old who ran out of the Subway in the food court while I was paying for our food.
One day my children will grow up and be on their own. They will come and visit me and call me on Mother’s Day. I will enjoy the luxuries of travel and whatever it is you do when your children leave home. This mother will be caring for her daughter for the rest of her days on earth. These are the mothers who deserve the standing o’s and hand claps. So, the next time I’m wiping up the milk that my little girl intentionally poured on the floor, I will remember, “This is easy.”
Let me leave you with this excerpt from “If I Had My Child To Raise All Over Again” by Diane Loomans:
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
I hope I will remember that’s the easy stuff.
Love it! It seems easy to play, but I’m still not very good at it. Thanks for the reminder. Life is too short to take things so seriously that just don’t matter.
Things don’t, relationships do.
With my 3 kids, I find myself constantly cleaning up after them and playing referee and I also find myself sparing the babies and scolding my 6 year old. I daily pray for God to show me how to be the godly mother he calls me to be and how to have just as much patience for my 6 year old as I do for the 1 and 2 year old. I find all of my patience gone when it comes to Marcus and it is not fair to him. I am blessed to have such healthy free-spirited children and I hope that I can finally learn that Marcus’ tender heart is precious and that he needs me just as much as the babies do. I feel like a really bad mom when I can’t divide my time equally among my kids and it breaks my heart because I will never get this time back. I just need to relax and not sweat the petty stuff. Let go and let God…
I remember reading this on Myspace last year!
They grow up WAY to fast!!!! THen, you ask yourself, what you could have done different, or why did they grow up soooo fast…there is still so many things that we want to do with them and so many more places that we want to take them to and no matter how much time you spent with them or how many trips you take, it doesn’t seem like enough and you want a “Do Over”. Just rember the house will be there when they are gone off to college or it won’t but either way, that is not what is important!
Just make Memories on a daily basis!!!!!!!
I agree Dusty, that parents with special needs children, should be commended BIGtime! Good blog!
I used to always console myself by saying that they won’t go to college wearing diapers, sucking their thumbs, etc. But, in some cases that’s just not true.