Make sure you wear clean underwear!

Today is my mom’s thirty-ninth birthday.  In honor of her birthday and motherhood, I thought I’d share how parallel our universes run. 

You know those things your mom said to you that you swore you’d never say to your children?  I pretty much say them all….and I haven’t even hit the teen years yet.  Here are just a few:

In or out!

You will get in trouble, but you will get into more trouble if you lie about it.  (Kind of like the Driving Miss Daisy shenanigans I tried to pull.  Blast.)

You can wipe your own.  (Oh wait, is that not so common?)

No snacks.  We’re about to have dinner.

Did you flush?

You are not allowed to roll your eyes.  (Note:  My parents only saw me roll my eyes once.  Once.)

When I tell you something, do not respond with “I know.”  Just say, “Yes ma’am.”

The latter is my recent struggle with my 5 ½ year old who remarkably already knows how to golf, play guitar, and do calculus. 

Things my mother didn’t say – but an idea of what goes on in our sweet home:

Do not pee on the dog.

Do not pee in John Henry’s suitcase.

If you take off your clothes, leave on your underwear.

Anna, please stop telling strangers you have a surprise for them and following up by removing your shoe and saying “Stinky shoe!!!!” 

Your turn.  What did your mother say to you that you say to your little darlings?  Or, what things have you said to your children you thought you’d never have to say?


Filed under Motherhood

15 responses to “Make sure you wear clean underwear!

  1. Judy


  2. I’m sure I’ve said it ALL! “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do”. My favorite: “Don’t date anyone you wouldn’t consider marrying”.

    Now these last two of mine keep me on my toes. I’m having to come up with new stuff! (15 and 13 yo boys!)

    Thanks for the morning smile.

  3. Judy

    ooooooooo….one of my favorite…but you have to be charismatic (do we even use that word anymore) to understand lol….”ok, would you like for me to release you from my covering?”…..the answer was alwaysssssssss nooooooooooo

  4. I used alot, “If you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all” lol

    And the usual, ‘Say thank you”, about 5 yrs ago, and Tracy is 36 now, I “reminded” Tracy to say thank you, it was so funny, she responded, “O Mom, you did NOT just tell me to say thank you” ha ha! Still is funny!

    Great blog Dusty! Very amusing, but I felt the frustration. Love you!

  5. Lynn, that’s just too funny.

  6. Michelle

    i guess i’m the only one that is found using the famous line…”if you dont stop crying, i’ll give you something to cry about.” for some reason i think, in the irrational moment of trying to rationale with a 3 yr old, that it will actually make her stop crying??? oh the joy. 🙂

  7. Judy

    Ha Michelle….I forgot about that one lol….it did actually work lol

  8. Brenda

    Are you sure that it is ANNA’S “Stinky Shoe”????????? I remember a little girl that looked a lot like Anna a few (being nice) years ago that had the stinkiest feet that I had ever come in contact!!!! Until Alex and his friends get over here and they run us out of the room…the one smell that they can’t blame on the dog!

  9. Shari Oliver

    #1….be nice
    #2 he’s not the one and come home
    #3 GET A JOB

  10. Bonnie

    I don’t know what you all are talking about. My children and my parents are perfect. Haha!

  11. Amanda Morgan

    “Stop touching your brother” “Don’t sit so close to the T.V.” “Do I need to take you to the ear doctor? Answer me when I speak to you!” “No, Sammy, put that down” “That was not your toy” “Could you pleeeeeeease not make your brother scream?” “Someday, he might be bigger than you” “Is that how you want to be treated?” “I want everyone to sit down and be quiet!” “Please wipe the seat after you use the restroom. And always put the seat down!” “Did you actually put the toothpaste on the toothbrush and then put it in your mouth?”

  12. this is shari, not mike, amanda morgan is funny 🙂

  13. Amanda, you win. Hilarious.

  14. Amanda Morgan

    Thanks guys. Apparently my kids find me funny too because nobody under our roof takes me seriously. I sometimes feel like a stark raving mad lunatic and I picture myself looking like Cruella Deville on the cartoon version of 101 Dalmations. My husband says I drive like her so maybe there is a connection…

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