Careful What You Say. What You Write. What You Type.

I’m pretty sure I’ve written on this topic before.  After talking to a friend about a text message her daughter received, I felt compelled to write about it again. 

When I was around 10 or 11 years old, I sat down and wrote a letter to a girl who was a few years older than me.  It was an ugly letter.  I was upset with her for seemingly taking away my best friend.  I said things like, “You think you’re it.  You’re not.” 

The letter never reached her hands.  My parents found it first.  Thankfully.  Let’s say they were less than happy.  A lot less. 

They sat me down and read the letter to me.  I can remember my dad using the word “arrogant” to describe my character in writing that.  They addressed my spiritual life.  They addressed my character.  They addressed it all. 

You see, my parents cared about how I treated other people – regardless, of how they treated me.  And, revenge is another post I plan on sharing soon.

Fast forward to 2010.  My friend shares with me how her daughter received a very demeaning text message.  She was asked to forward that text to others.  She didn’t.  Her mother saw it first.  But so many parents today turn a blind eye to, or even worse, join in with the cruel words their children and teenagers communicate to others. 

They write ugly messages on someone else’s Myspace page or Facebook wall.  They send nasty text messages.  They leave behind them a path of destruction for that victim to walk through. 

And, it’s grossly wrong. 

We as parents must be more concerned with our children’s character and spiritual growth than we are with their talents in school or sports.  We must be aware of the words coming out of their mouths and being typed by their fingers. 

We simply must.

The girl I wrote that letter to would commit suicide a few years later. 

So thankful I didn’t leave her in my path of destruction.  And, thankful I had parents who cared about my character.


Filed under parenting, Virtue

10 responses to “Careful What You Say. What You Write. What You Type.

  1. That was really so good, & true Dusty!! To stay involved in guiding children, family in the way we respond, or teach others by our example. To just avoid them, when they are troubled, or post something or say something is just as wrong! Great blog!! Thank you!

  2. I just cant imagine the pain that your parents not only saved this girl, but in the wake of what happened, saved your heart as well.

    Teaching your child not to retaliate is the hardest thing because honestly, I didnt feel that way when it happened first to my little girl at 9. We would talk about how to handle things, pray, love and then I would private chat with the Hubs 🙂 I never knew I could want to hurt a 9 year old! It was a total shock. But my daughter handled herself with grace and to this day I am so proud of her!

    Girls – such capacity to absolutely love and such a capacity to take each other out!

  3. It is very hard to put things in God’s hands to deal with and take vengence as He sees fit… It is horribly hard when you have to deal with comments on Facebook etc. I can say I have never regreted letting God deal with those kinds of things….not even once….There is so much truth in your blog….

  4. Brenda

    I have put mine in the “God Box”. Vengence is mine. I will repay saith the Lord!

  5. Wendy Verdon

    WOW is what I say first of all, WOW!

    I agree, I try to teach Kelci that even if someone is mean to her, not to say hurtful things back, but to be nice and maybe they will feel bad about how they treated her and maybe they can become a better person. I am not mean to people either, but I will tell you there are a couple of people that have wronged me and still does and it really bothers me and I look for ways that I can show them what they have done, but I just don’t know how, because I am not the best communicator and if I address it with them, they will probably not talk to me anymore and they are my family! So, I choose to deal with it inside and vent to my husband and honestly, it eats me up inside. I am not sure what to do about it. I know I should just give it to God, but for some reason, I want them to know how ugly they are being. I know I am not being the Christian I need to be feeling that way either! Any advice would be appreciated!

    • Dusty Takle

      Wendy, I will write on this tomorrow. It’s been a struggle of my own, because I so hate injustice. But, I just read a book that changed my perspective in this. Still hard. But, I have a little better handle on it.

  6. Bonnie

    Who was the friend….heehee?

  7. Gayla

    Sarah and I talk about this all the time. Never, ever write or text anything that would be hurtful or that she would mind parents or others seeing. Just recently, someone (on fb) sent Sarah a very profane, ugly message. I would not allow her to respond. I do not want my sweet one to known as a “mean girl”. I try to remind her of how it feels to be on the receiving end of ugly words and try to never make anyone feel that bad.

  8. Suddenly I’m wishing I could keep Reia 8 forever. Girls are so cruel esp when they get to Jr High and High School. Thanks for this reminder to be on my guard with how Reia reacts to things that hurt her.

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