Pregnancy means waking up to pee every hour on the hour. When I woke up at 4:00 am, I just couldn’t drift back off into sleepy town. It happens often these days. It’s usually because of my athlete in training or my mind running ramped of things I need to accomplish. Then, there are times I just wake up and pray. I pray for my children. I pray for Kris. I pray for people in need of healing. I just pray.
It’s easy, especially in this stage of my journey carrying a child, to become self-focused. I still read scriptures. I’m still very aware of God’s presence in my life. But, I can still focus much too much on wanting this baby-carrying journey to end. So, when God centers me again, I want to fall down at the cross and thank Him for it. He does it for me often. He did it again at 4:00 am.
I made a little delivery room playlist on my iPod. The first song on that playlist is Jeremy Riddle’s “Sweetly Broken.” I haven’t been able to get these lyrics out of my head since my little wake-up call:
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
I’m so thankful for a Father who continues to beckon me, even when I become self-consumed. I’m so thankful that He allows me to surrender my stuff to Him – sometimes the same stuff more than once or ten times. I’m so thankful I’m in love with Him.
And, that He first loved me.
Sweetly broken. That’s me today.