Living with a chronic disease.

My senior year of college was a stressful one.  I over-loaded on classes for the single goal of finishing school a year early.  Silly girl.  What was I thinking?  It was during this time that I was diagnosed with an incurable, but usually manageable disease.  I will spare you the details.  Believe me, there is nothing glamorous about it.

It’s been fourteen years since my diagnosis.  I have had periods of frustration and remission, along with a few triumphs.  I’ve also had feelings of envy.  There were times that I would look at some other mom in a mall and think, “Must be nice to be completely healthy.”  Then, sometimes, I would think, “I bet he can eat whatever he wants and not think twice about it.”  Or, I’d mumble under my breath, “Please, don’t complain about your piddly aches.  Do you want to know my daily regimen just to attempt a good day?”

I’ve come a long way since those thoughts.  Those frustrations.  Those moments of envy.  I’m in a much better place today – even when I’m fighting for remission.  Here are some things I realized:

·         I have no idea what that other mom at the mall is facing.  My life is possibly much easier.

·         These are the cards I’ve been dealt.  It could be worse.

·         When I focus on my disease, I don’t focus on what’s really important.

·         I can choose to walk in healing every day.  And, I speak it over my life.   Our words are powerful, remember? 

·         I know my worst case scenarios.  I will still survive.

·         God is bigger than my frailties.

·         I take the meds….even when I don’t want to.  It’s not just about me.  I’ve got a family who needs me around.

The biggest lesson learned has been to not focus on my disease.  This doesn’t mean that I ignore it, or let it go untreated.  But, I don’t let it consume me.  The enemy – and there is one – wants us to take our focus off of others and place it on ourselves.  When we focus on ourselves, we are unable to do the things our Savior has called us to do.  And, He has called us all to live beyond ourselves. 

So, when I’m struggling with my disease, I submit it to my prayer warriors.  And, they pray!  Scripture tells us that the Lord is our physician. (Exodus 15:26)  And, His medicine is His Word. 

No matter your struggle – heart, soul or body – we serve the great physician, a life-giver, a healer.  He has plans to prosper you, not to harm you.   A plan for a life and a future. 

For those in the middle of a battle right now, here is my prayer for you.

“Father, I thank You that You watch over Your word to perform it.  I thank you that Your word says that whatsoever we desire, when we pray that we will receive them.  We walk in healing today.  Heal our hearts.  Heal our souls.  And, heal our bodies.  Give us a peace that really does pass all understanding.  And, we praise You for Your grace that we don’t deserve, but You give so freely.  I know that every thing that concerns me, concerns You.  You are a good God.  A gracious God.  And, we are nothing without you.  Amen.”

I’m a New Living Translation kind of gal, but nothing says this one quite like the KJV (or affectionately known as Mr. Jim) – Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:  Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases.  Psalm  103:2-3

So, tell the enemy to put that in his pipe and smoke it.