Category Archives: God Stuff

June 20, 2020 · 7:38 pm

I’m going to follow Jesus.

I heard Andy Stanley say last weekend, “Becoming a Christian is easy. Following Jesus is almost supernatural.” Because, if you don’t choose to follow Jesus, you’ll be satisfied just believing the right things…..instead of doing them. We will be content in the believing and knowing instead of the acting and reacting.

There is a lot going on in our country and around the world. I know you’re anxious. I know you’re worried. I know you’re unsettled. I know you’re ready for peace. I know you’re ready for calm. I know you are.

But, you have the power to bring it. WE have the power to bring it.

You have the power to bring that peace and bring that calm.

I’m not going to sit here and type a dissertation or argument on why one needs to understand what our black friends mean when they say “Black lives matter.” I’m not going to try to convince people in a blog post about what white privilege is or tell you how to feel about it. I’m not going to tell you the countless stories of heartbreak and fear from my black friends to try to sway you to understand. And, believe me, there are many.

Instead, tonight, I want to talk about what we are called to do when people are in pain. When hearts are broken. When fear is overtaking those we love. When anxiety is overwhelming. I want to talk about what we do when we hear pain and when we see it. Because, I know what Jesus did. He didn’t ignore it. He didn’t wish it would go away. He didn’t justify it or excuse it. He certainly didn’t get angry about it.

Instead, He listened and leaned into it. Not only did He listen and lean into, He poured His peace and healing out onto it.

And, not only did He pour His healing onto it, He gave His life for it.

He gave His life for the hurting. For the oppressed. For the happy. For the sad. For those who were winning and for those who were losing. He gave His life for those who were suffering and those who were in pain. Without asking anything of them. Without demanding anything in return. Without touting His own righteousness or how He had lived a human life so perfectly……and could He not have boasted in His perfectly lived earthly life? I don’t need to give out my resume of righteousness and good deeds. None of us really should be boasting in our humanity. Because, that’s not love, and that’s not Jesus.

So, in this heart-wrenching time where people are raging and shouting…..and where people are suffering and crying out in pain….

I’m going to follow Jesus. I mean REALLY follow Him.

That means I’m not going to justify my own life. I’m not going to say “Yes, but…..” I’m not going to wish it all away. I’m not going to hope it all just fades. I’m not going to ignore it.

I’m not going to deny people’s pain and suffering.

But, I’m going to prefer it.

I’m going to prefer those who are hurting.

I shared with my own little family this week that we HAVE to prefer people’s pain. We do it in our own family together. I’d bet you do it in yours. Your spouse or your child is hurt. Maybe they are hurt by you. It’s easy to sit there and justify our actions or say “That wasn’t my intent.” It’s easy to respond with “That is not how I said that” or “That is not my heart.” But if I want to bring healing to Kris or one of my children, I have to OWN it. I can’t tell you the times, that even when I didn’t fully understand their pain, I looked at them and said, “I am so sorry you are hurting. What can I do to make it better?”

We have to prefer people’s pain. Actually, we have to prefer people period. And, to do this will take divine humility. It will take empathy. What is empathy? It’s understanding and sharing the feelings of another human being. And, we can’t understand each other and share each other’s feelings without listening. Without owning.

Without leaning in.

Without pouring out healing.

And, without sacrificing what we think, what we feel, and what we want for someone else. That’s what following Jesus looks like.

Sacrifice.

Humility.

Empathy.

That’s what love looks like. And, that is what healing and peace look like.

And, it’s within each of us.

We just have to decide if we are willing to settle with believing that people matter to God and are extremely valuable…..Or, we decide to follow Jesus and do the things that show people they DO matter.

I do it in my home. I work hard to do with those I’m in relationship with. And, I am called to do it with every single person walking this planet.

If Jesus is the answer (and I believe He is), then let’s follow Him and do what He did.

Tonight, I pray for eyes to see people the way Jesus does. I pray for ears that hear people’s pain. I pray for hearts that lean in to heal.

I pray for you. I pray for this nation. I pray for peace.

And, I pray I become peace.

May we all become it as we choose to follow Him.

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February 9, 2018 · 8:13 pm

Honor the Space

It’s Friday night, and I’m home with my family, save John, drinking a glass of red wine (RED….I don’t even know myself anymore) and contemplating this past week. I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions the past few days. Good, necessary, thought shift, life shift kind of emotions. A week ago, one of Kris’ friends and long time clients transitioned unexpectedly. For 16 years, Paul has been in Kris’ life. Kris has managed and flown Paul’s airplanes for as long as we’ve been married. Kris and I spent a couple of days in Oklahoma this week tending to business, and we spent one night together out just the two of us. We sat across from each other reminiscing stories of time with Paul that neither of us have thought about in a very long time. We tend to forget the moments with someone until we are in a position where we really want to remember them.

I came home Wednesday to be back home with the kids, and Kris stayed on to attend Paul’s memorial service. I went to service at EWC that night and allowed my own spirit to receive whatever it needed. My dear friend, Lauren, led worship and knew the very words the room needed. What I needed. I sat down and tears just streamed down my face. Because, all I kept hearing in my spirit was this: honor the space.

Honor the space.

I thought about all of the stories Kris and I exchanged about our times with Paul. How he showed up to our wedding, kid birthday parties, dinner, anything we invited him to. How he wanted us to always join him and his wife for dinner when Kris flew him, and I tagged along. How he laughed at the stories Kris and I told him. How he really wanted to hear our stories.

How he simply showed up.

How he engaged you.

How he honored that moment.

How he honored the space.

I wasn’t close to Paul. I enjoyed our times together, but I, by no means, was close to him. But I don’t think I honored the space with him like he did with me. I’m sure I didn’t. So, that thought led me to thinking about the times I am with my friends now. With my family. When I’m with you. Am I honoring that space? Am I showing up as much as I can and being present with you? Is there someone I’m not investing in and showing up for that needs me? And, perhaps, I need?

Thursday morning, I texted my mom something that will sound strange to most of you, but she knows me and loves me and can practically decipher and translate every single weirdo text I send her. “Mom, is it just me, or do you feel like things are aligning the way they are supposed to? Alignment is the best word I can think to describe what I feel in my spirit.”

She responded, “Getting into alignment is sometimes painful. It can hurt. But once you are aligned, it makes the journey so much smoother. It can make us go farther than we’ve ever anticipated.”

See what I’m saying? She can interpret ANYTHING.

The greatest alignment I began to feel was with Kris. Because, one of the spaces I learned I needed to honor was with him.

Don’t get me wrong. I freaking love that man. I love being with him. I love date nights with him, traveling with him, family nights, the times we share with friends….I love it all. But, it hit me: I do not fully honor the space, honor the time when I’m with him. Enjoy it? Yes. Honor it?

Honor is such a huge word. It means to regard with great respect. To revere. To treat with honor. While I always honor and respect him…..do I always honor the space with him? The moments with him? In both the ordinary and the remarkable? Perhaps, sometimes. But, I want to honor the space in them all.

I want to honor the space with you. I want to show up. I want to be present.

Kris came home last night, and I told him…. “You know how we always say, okay, I always say, I want time to slow down with our kids, so I can soak in these moments more?” He nodded.

“Well, I want time to slow down, so I can soak these times in with you. I want to linger a little longer. I want to hold the moments a little tighter. I want time to slow down with you.”

And, it will. Time will slow down. Because, that’s what happens when we choose to honor the space. That’s what happens when we are aligned.

That’s what happens when we show up. When we engage. That’s what happens when we become aware that the space with each other is divine. It’s holy.

I want to honor the space with every person. Every friend. With my children. With Kris. With you.

Honor it. Show up for it. And, stay there a while. So, to that I say, align away.

Fly west, friend.

Hawker

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November 21, 2017 · 10:09 am

An Appointment With God.

It is honestly hard to be as raw and real as this post will be. Because, I am a positive girl. I take captive thoughts that drain me, that aren’t good for me, and I’m usually really good at making those thoughts obedient to truth. Obedient to the fact that His ways are good and perfect. To the truth that all things work together for the good. ALL things. But, I have struggled these past two months. I haven’t struggled in knowing He is good. But, I have struggled with sadness and disappointment.

For a while, I kept calling it sadness. I am saddened by the immense loss I feel from losing people close to me. I am saddened by the hands some have been dealt undeservingly. I am saddened that I have not done the things personally I know I need to do. I am saddened that any child would feel any amount of love that is less than what my own children feel. I am saddened by the suffering others endure. I am saddened there is a family of seven wondering about their next meal. Grief upon grief. Layered one on top of the other. I have cried, almost daily, overwhelmed by it all.

Sunday night, I poured myself out to Kris. I emptied it all. “I am sad,” I told him. And, the more I shared, the more I realized that my sadness was really disappointment. I looked at Kris and finally said, “I am disappointed in this year.” I have been ready for it to end. I am ready for something new. Something different. I told him that maybe we don’t give grief its proper respect. We know loss is a part of the human experience. We grieve. We cry. But, maybe we underestimate the reality of how that loss affects our daily lives. We don’t give it the credence it’s due. Instead, we try to find the good instead of feeling what is really there.

These have been my feelings. This has been my burden. This has been my past two months.

But the ability to finally identify what I feel and call it disappointment finally changed how I see today. How I see tomorrow. If we wallow in our disappointment, it will kill our passion. It will hinder in my own life the greatest forces in this world: faith, hope, and love.

I am of reminded of a message my dad preached so many years ago. He talked about Samson. Samson forgot who he was. He was disappointed in his choices, in the world he had framed, in the promise he thought was lost. Until one day, he felt his hair touching his shoulders, and he remembered. He remembered his strength…he remembered the living, breathing force within him. He remembered the promise. He remembered who he was. And, he knew in that moment: for every disappointment in life is an appointment with God. And, that changed everything.

For every disappointment is an appointment with God. It’s a reckoning. It’s where we feel what we need to feel. Where we allow grief to be what it is. Where we allow disappointment to be what it is. But, there comes a day when, like Samson, we are reminded of our strength. We are reminded that we have a choice. We can stay in disappointment or we can allow it to thrust us forward. Where we connect the dots. Where we remember who we are. Where we use the very thing that disappointed us to push us forward to do the work He has called us to do.

We can hold fast to faith that screams He is able to do more than we can imagine. Faith that opens our eyes to see the unseen. We can trust in the hope that anchors our very soul. That secures us. That keeps us from tossing to and fro when the waves come. When the disappointments come. And, we can cling to love: who we really are. We can love ourselves so deeply that we actually let ourselves off the hook when we don’t live up to what we hoped we would do and be. We can love others with such intensity that nothing they do can ever taint how we see them: real, living souls who are images of God in the earth.

Kris texted me this morning, “So many times we forget what we are passionate about. Your passions are so powerful, and your words are so impactful. You miss just how awesome you are. Life is good, life is hard, and it’s our faith that will keep us strong. Stop holding back. Stop being afraid. You can do it. No matter what it is.” These were the words that pulled me out of my disappointment. And, this was the time God chose to do it. Because, Kris was God in the moment. In this time.

I felt my strength again this morning. And, I remembered. I remembered my passions. I remembered who I was. And, I remembered that I have an appointment with God.

I have an appointment with myself. An appointment to renew what needs to be renewed. And a mission to bring faith, hope, and love to the forefront of people’s lives.

Friends, to you I say: Stop holding back. Stop being afraid. You can do it. No matter what it is. Because, you have the three greatest forces moving towards you in your favor: faith, hope and love. Don’t miss how awesome you are. Don’t stay in disappointment. Trust in the hope that assures us nothing is ever truly lost. The hope that assures us the best is always ahead.

Today is going to be a good day.

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September 9, 2016 · 7:51 am

The Process of Forgiveness.

I’ve wanted to write this post for a long time. Every time I would go to write it, I would stop. It seemed too difficult to tell the story well. To tell the story of forgiveness. I hope I serve the art of forgiving well as I share my heart today.

I believe the process of forgiveness looks different according to each situation. Many times it’s easy. It’s easy to forgive your children for forgetting to clean their room. It’s easy to forgive your spouse when he doesn’t meet an expectation. It’s easy, or it should be easy, to forgive a friend when they disappoint you. Why? Because, we are making allowances for each other’s faults. So, immediate forgiveness makes sense. The process is hardly a process at all.

But deep hurts of betrayal or of life-changing wrong-doing require a process of forgiveness. I don’t know that I truly understood this until last year when my family was forced to walk through it. Even the process of forgiving John Henry’s dad was easier. As crazy as it sounds, that hurt was not a hurt that was meant to deliberately hurt me or him. While it affected us, it wasn’t about us. It was about him. I know this is a hard pill for some to swallow who have experienced their spouse leaving them. But, because of the love I had for both of them and the awareness that it wasn’t about me, walking in forgiveness was an easy process. It didn’t make the hurt any less. I still had to live with the decision. But, it did make releasing any anger and resentment possible and quick. Am I making sense? See the difference? The hurt stayed a while, but the resentment did not.

Last year, I experienced a different kind of hurt. The kind that affects your entire family. The kind where intentions just don’t seem right. The kind where you have no emotional ties to the instigators, so there seems to be no reason to “let them off the hook.” I was hurt. I felt violated, betrayed, angry, resentful. Where was the justice, the fairness, the accountability? Every feeling was necessary for me to feel. The hard part in it all was trying not to lose who I was in it. Trying not to forget who HE was in me. Who HE is in each of us. I wanted to forgive. I would pray and release them, but I would find myself meeting that anger again whenever I allowed my mind to go there. Forgiveness was going to be hard. I was initially hard on myself, because, I felt like I knew better. I knew it was necessary. But, I never understood the process of this kind of hurt until I had to walk through it.

So, I learned that sometimes forgiveness is a journey. But, it has to be an intentional journey. It has to be so intentional that you set out every day with the goal of releasing it. You set your heart on the mission of letting them off the hook. It did not happen with a prayer. It didn’t happen with a single decision. It happened with multiple decisions. It happened with the realization that sometimes forgiveness is a process. It’s a decision you have to make over and over and over. Every single day. Until the hurt is gone.

It’s deliberate. It’s a daily choice. And, it’s a process.

Eventually, I framed my world to release the hurt and forgiveness so many times that it finally happened. I was free. And, so were the ones who hurt me.

Don’t stay in deep-rooted hurt. Don’t accept that your hurt will always be there. Take the journey. Go through the process. Keep making the choice to forgive over and over until that hurt no longer carries any weight.

Besides learning that sometimes forgiveness is a process, I also learned how little other hurts really are. I learned, that at the end of the day, it should be so easy to allow those we love to fail us. To let go of little things like someone not meeting your expectations. It became so easy to always fill in the gap of my expectations and disappointments with love and forgiveness. Everything else became so small. The people in my life became so big….as did my love for them. The decisions we made after our big hurt made our lives richer. Better. Nothing went to waste, and God has used it ALL for our good.

All of it.

If you’re holding onto hurt, choose to go through the process of forgiveness. Allow God to work even that for your good. He loves you, and His ways are so, so good. So worth it. YOU are worth it.

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September 7, 2016 · 8:58 am

Reset.

calm

“Remember. You show our children how to respond to stressful and difficult moments by how you respond to those moments.”

This was the reminder Kris gave me over the phone last night. You know, sometimes, when our husbands are right, we kind of want to roll our eyes or maybe throw a pie in their face. I jest a little. But, I couldn’t do either last night. I told him I recognized that my response was not good, and that I had allowed myself to get overwhelmed and would work through my stuff. He told me recognizing I was not in a good place did not make that place right. Again, he was right. So, I had to make myself right. And, I needed to do it right away. Not the next morning when all of the mercies are new. But, I needed to adjust then. In THAT moment.

It’s hard. We can work ourselves up faster than Clark Kent can turn into Super-Man. Then, we implode. Because, negativity is designed to do just that…..implode. We have to stop feeding it and giving energy to it. “When we hang up, reset your emotions, and go make it right,” he told me with the most tender of tones.

I didn’t have to wait for a sunrise to make that moment of spiraling emotions right. I just had to push the reset button. I didn’t feel like doing it, because staying in my overwhelmed emotions seemed easier. They validated me. They allowed me to justify my responses to stress. But, they didn’t produce anything good.

They didn’t model mercy or compassion.

They didn’t model the scripture, “be anxious for nothing…”

They didn’t model how to respond when life gets hard.

They didn’t model light.

They didn’t heal anything or anyone.

We can’t always calm the storm around us, but we can ALWAYS calm the storm WITHIN us.

And, that’s exactly what I did. I spoke to the storm within me, and said, “Peace be still.” I called my children together and asked forgiveness and spoke peace to them. In the very moment of my overwhelmed emotions, I reset and made it right.

You, too, always have the option to reset. No matter how powerful those negative emotions become….the God within you is greater. It is simply choosing to acknowledge who you really are and tapping into the peace that is already within you. Because, you have everything you need already inside of you. Everything.

You lack nothing.

Today, I choose to create my calm. I choose to model it. I choose to be the light in the dark and the calm in the storm. I choose to reset.

What do you choose today?

Be a lamp, a lifeboat, a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like shepherd. – Rumi

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August 24, 2016 · 1:15 pm

We’re A Little Bit Of Everything.

Anna - school

This year, we made the decision to transition our kids to private school. Let me first say, our kids have thrived in public school, and they have been under the instruction of some amazing public school teachers. Our decision to make the change came out of discussions between Kris and I and then with our children. One of the greatest benefits we’ve seen so far (besides only having ONE carpool line a day…..can I hear a shout?) is that all three of our children have opportunities to catch a glimpse of each other throughout the day. Jett will fist bump John Henry every time he sees him. And, we LOVE that. Seriously. Cutest ever.

Having been in a public school environment most of their lives, they are having new experiences they haven’t been exposed to before (and, we LOVE that, too.) Yesterday, Anna gets in the car and first shares that she thinks she might be Pentecostal. But, she doesn’t know for sure…

Anna: “So, today in Bible we checked what denomination we belong to. You know how our church isn’t ‘normal’ and I didn’t know what to check. I remembered hearing Big Mama was Pentecostal a long time ago, so I just checked that.”

John Henry: “We don’t belong to any denomination, Anna. I checked that.”

Anna: “Mom has never told us WHAT we are.”

We actually consider ourselves inter-faith, embracing all denominations. You know….we love grace like the Baptists and missions like the Methodists. Kris prefers the “sprinkling” of the Presbyterians (you will not find him submerged), and now we love the Eucharist like the Episcopalians. The list could go on. Bottom line, we believe every denomination highlights a different and beautiful aspect of the Christian faith. We have never really labeled ourselves, other than “inter-faith” because of this. I’ve sort of taken my dad’s position to always put a comma by your thoughts, because we are forever growing and expanding. We tend to parent our children the same way allowing for freedom of thought and growth. The only thoughts we govern are the ones that surround this scripture:

37Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:37-39

Love God, love others, and love yourself.

THEN, Anna proceeds to tell us about her communion experience. We have taken communion. I mean, come on. We are no stranger to the sacrament. We eat our styrofoam wafer and drink our white grape juice, so as not to stain the carpets. We’ve even taken communion as a family together at home, drinking wine from the same glass and breaking bread. Apparently, Anna approached the Episcopalian communion the same way.

“I went up and tried to grab the cup from them. They said, ‘What are you doing?’ I said, trying to drink the wine.”

“We don’t drink. We dip,” they told me.

“So, with my bread in one hand, I dipped my opposite hand, my FINGER into the wine, and then I LICKED MY FINGER. They looked at me like I was crazy. By the time I got back to my seat I noticed I still had my bread in my hand. So, I ate it.”

Needless to say, yesterday’s carpool pick-up was THE BEST. I laughed, and I laughed. Then, I would think about it again and laugh. This is seriously going to be a fun year.

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May 5, 2016 · 5:23 am

When We Run Into Problems.

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5

These verses carried me through the hardest time in my life over 14 years ago. I read this passage again this morning with a different set of eyes. A confident set of eyes. A heart that knows and understands. A life that can testify to it over and over and over again.

Our initial reaction to adversity and problems isn’t, “Well thank you, Jesus. This is going to grow me and strengthen my character.” No. It can be anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment, and so many other things. Certainly not happiness that we get to endure something hard. It’s not a normal reaction. Hey, you’re normal. So, I am I! However, once we get over the initial shock and awe of it, we get to make a choice how we are going to through the problem. Whether the problem is as large as what I endured 14 years ago when my husband walked out or even if it is as small as a conflict at your work, we get to choose to endure it with a confident hope that He will grow us and work it for our good.

So, what do we do after we get over the initial onset of a problem? I wanted to share some things that I do that may help you, too. First, I vent upward. That means I don’t share my problem with someone who isn’t on the same page of life with me spiritually. Because, that person may feed into my anger or resentment where nothing redemptive comes from it. I vent to someone who has compassion but who also brings light to it. They help me process it from a position of forgiveness and understanding. They remind me to trust Him. The conversation is always redemptive.

I slow down. Haste causes us to react instead of respond. It causes a build up of negative emotions and feelings that are hard to come down from. I slow down my responses, my comments, my time. When we slow down, we are able to think more clearly, take captive our thoughts that are negative more easily, and avoid making the mistake of saying or doing something we might regret.

I pray and meditate. This keeps my heart soft and refocuses my thoughts. Philippians 4:6-7 tells us, 6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Don’t worry about your problem. Don’t dwell on it. Tell God what you need, and THANK Him for everything He has already done. Everything He has already delivered you from and made better for you. Re-center your thoughts on Him and on thankfulness. When you catch yourself dwelling on the problem, replace that thought with all of the good in your life. Everything you have to be thankful for. THEN, peace will flood your life.

Finally, I am open to change. What if I am the one that is the problem? What if God is not just working something for my good, but what if He is changing ME? What if I created the problem myself? Stay open to accept responsibility. Allow people you trust to speak into your life.

All problems are meant for our growth. I learned a long time ago to say, “Nothing goes wrong in my world.” Instead, every situation is an opportunity to grow. To learn. An opportunity to be a better friend. A better mom. A better wife. A better person. Without running into hard situations, it is impossible to become BETTER. So, with that knowledge, we really can rejoice in hard times. Because, we are then presented with an opportunity for our lives to be better. We may not always see the end from the beginning and know the hows and whys, but we can trust in the One who is working all things, ALL, for our good.

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March 16, 2016 · 7:41 am

Peace, Be Still.

You may not believe this, but, I am the queen of second-guessing. Especially when it comes to making big decisions for our kids. I second-guessed leaving Oklahoma City in 2010. I second-guessed over and over moving to the farm. I continue to second-guess myself, even after I have clarity and peace about a decision. It’s what I do. It’s also how I wear Kris Takle out. Kris has the crazy ability to see clearly and have peace about situations. It’s like he walks out this trusting the Spirit within him thing or something. Crazy, huh?

In making a big decision for our children recently, we both felt peace and had clarity. Kris doesn’t waver in this. I waver like Jett Takle on the toy aisle who can’t decide which toy he wants. What if he chooses this toy and then wishes later he had chosen the other toy? Oh, the humanity! So, last week, I asked Kris to pray over the decision. The one we had already made. The one we both had already felt good about. That one. He looks at me and says, “I’m not praying over that. I will pray over YOU.”

Part of me wanted to give him this look Anna Takle gives me when she’s appalled. Instead, I said, “Oh, my gosh! That’s what I needed to hear!”

You see the problem wasn’t the decision. Quite often the problem isn’t even the problem. The problem isn’t the situation. The problem isn’t the circumstance. Most of the time, the problem is me. It’s you. It reminded me of this story:

35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” 39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. 40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:35-40

Clearly, Jesus wasn’t worried about the storm. The man was trying to sleep. So, when He spoke, “Quiet! Be still,” he wasn’t speaking to the storm. He wasn’t speaking to the circumstances. He was speaking to the disciples. If you really read into it, you will see, He was calming the storm WITHIN them.

Kris was calming the storm within me. Often times, we don’t need to ask God to change our situation. We don’t need to ask every person on the planet for confirmation of a decision. We don’t need to speak peace into a decision or circumstance. Instead, we need to speak peace into our own lives.

You already have everything within you that you need to be at peace. So, speak to your own soul. Say to yourself, “Peace, be still.” And, trust in the One who has never, ever failed you.

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February 24, 2016 · 9:32 am

His Goodness Pursues You.

You know those times you look at your house and know you need to organize so many things in it but don’t really know where to begin? That’s how I have felt about writing to you all. So many things, so many thoughts, so many messages of heartache, brokenness, and disappointment. But, so many messages of His goodness, hope, and His faithfulness. All of these themes shuffling around in my head and not really knowing where to begin. And, just like that house that needs us to get up and do something, I need to begin writing…something.

So, today, I begin with His goodness.

The past few months have been a whirlwind for our family. Without sharing intimate details, we have experienced things we never imagined we would go through. Emotions of disappointment and anger. Feelings of injustice. Moments of falling to my knees with hurt and knowing in my heart that forgiveness can be hard but necessary. But, through disappointment, He is still good. He is faithful. And, nothing, NOTHING goes to waste. No hurt goes to waste. No difficult season goes to waste. Nothing.

And, disappointment and hurt do not pursue me.

His goodness and unfailing love do. They chase after me wherever I go. They make themselves known in the darkest of times and the brightest of times. They lift up my chin and remind me that He is working all things for my good. ALL things. Not some. Not a few. ALL things. They give rest to my weary head. They comfort me. They say, “Hey, kid. We’ve never stopped following you. And, you know what? The same God that has proved Himself time and time again won’t fail you now.” They remind me that it’s not the storms that get us, but it’s our response to the storms.

It’s opening our eyes in the middle of the chaos and seeing His goodness all around you. What was meant for harm has been for our good.

I’ve seen John Henry handle himself with the greatest of dignity, the greatest of strength, and become a man who truly knows he is who GOD says he is.

I’ve watched Anna thrive in the midst of a hard season and learn to articulate her feelings in such a way, I swear I’m talking to 40 year old woman. While she feels deeply, she also feels His spirit within her so much, and it AMAZES me.

I’ve watched Jett consistently remind me to breathe. To laugh, to pause, and soak in the eternal things.

I’ve watched Kris care for our family in such a way that I have fallen in love with him all over again. I’ve watched him parent our children with the tenderest care, with the strongest protection, and with the greatest wisdom. I told him, “I’m not saying I couldn’t parent without you. But, I sure wouldn’t want to.”

Today, I stand on the other side of our hard season with a renewed sense of His goodness. With a renewed passion that He is faithful to turn messes into messages. He is faithful to make good come out of the hard. Because, He pursues me, I do not live in a house of unrest, a house of chaos, a house of disappointment. I live in His house. And, He dwells within me.

He is faithful. Remember that. Remember that hard times are not pursuing you. His goodness and love are. And, nothing can stop them from chasing you. He is good. He is good. He is good. And, His love will not fail you.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:6

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August 6, 2015 · 8:06 am

60 Things I Love About My Mom. 


She was 19 when she became my mother. And, I can’t remember how old she was when she became my best friend. But, she’s been the best of both for as long as I can remember. You have never met a more beautiful human being in all of the world. You have never met a more selfless woman. A woman filled with more grace and kindness and love than my mother. Today, we celebrate 60 years of this world becoming a brighter, kinder, more beautiful place. And, without further ado, I give you 60 Things I Love About My Mom:

1. I love how so very frugal and disciplined you are with your finances. Unless you’re buying for your grandchildren, then all frugality goes out the window.

2. I love that no matter how much my dad can aggravate you with his spontaneity to do the most random of things, you still love him and accept him and tell me, “You know your dad.”

3. I love how you consider riding your Harley Davidson motorcycle “therapy.”

4. I love that you can even ride a motorcycle, because, I would surely not do that so well. (And, all of my friends say, “Amen.”)

5. I love it that you keep a tub full of chocolate candy bars in your refrigerator and add to the tub whatever people request….whether you are family or not. (She thinks you’re family and wants to have all of your favorite things waiting for you.)

6. I love how you introduce ME to new music now. You were shouting Bruno Mars before he was cool.

7. I love that you went to see Prince in concert. I don’t love it that you went without me. But, still, that was awesome.

8. I love that you recognize the dresses you made for me when I was little were not really awesome.

9. I love how you try to get into your chair before Jett comes over, just because Jett expects to find you there and wants to run to you.

10. I love that you always, always remind me to give my children the benefit of the doubt on everything.

11. I love how you give EVERYONE that benefit and always assume the best. In everyone. No matter what.

12. I love how you will give up the best of something, so someone else can have it. Truth is, you always deserve the best of everything.

13. I love how you love to get dad exactly what he wants for Christmas. In as much as his wish list seems so childlike and can make you roll your eyes, you always try to fulfill it.

14. I love how you record every single awards show, because you never know that performance you will want to go back and watch. Over and over and over again.

15. I love how you already know the odds of a horse before he ever gets ready to race.

16. I love how you get emotional at race time.

17. I love that you still talk to Judy everyday after 37 years of friendship.

18. I love it that you taught me you are never too far from a friend to be there for her in the hardest of times and in the best of times.

19. I love it that John Henry can never, EVER do any wrong in your eyes.

20. I love how you will buy Anna most anything she wants, regardless of what I may or may not have thought about it. Surely, forgiveness is better than permission. 🙂


21. I love how you think everything Jett does is funny….and how hard you try not to laugh at the things you shouldn’t. But still do.


22. I love how you’ve joked (or not joked) before, “You keep your dad, and I’ll keep the kids tonight.”

23. I love how you love coming to the farm, and you can truly relax here.

24. I love that you are always willing to keep the kids whenever I need you, no matter what you have planned.

25. I love how I got my love for the beach from you. And, how we could sit in our chairs and not move until sunset….if only dad and my kids would let us.

26. I love that we got to experience NYC together with Anna.

27. I love how you fell in love with Broadway and the theater.

28. I love how you are always falling in love with new things and new adventures.

29. I love it when people tell me I look exactly like you.

30. I love it that we can wear each other’s clothes.

31. I love how you always ask me when Kris is gone, “How can we help you today?”

32. I love how no one can ever say a single negative word about you, because you live life so well.

33. I love how you always speak the most positive words about people.

34. I love how you love EWC and carry the heart of the people.

35. I love your gift of discernment and how I can trust it.

36. I love how you can flow so effortlessly in the Spirit and minister to people.

37. I love how you truly love and appreciate others and their gifts.

38. I love how you love my friends and call them your girls.

39. I love how thankful you are for every little thing and every big thing.

40. I love the face you make when I talk about Anna taking my things….because, you know exactly what it feels like. (Sorry that I still take your things.)

41. I love how open you are to still grow in the things of God.

42. I love looking into your years ahead and already seeing how God is going to use you to minister to people so beautifully.

43. I love that you taught me how to hear His voice and to always trust it.

44. I love that you remind me of His faithfulness ALL of the time.

45. I love that you are content with so little yet do not fear dreaming big.

46. I love how you always taught me to love and accept all people no matter what they look like, what they believe, or how they live their life.

47. I love how you love Kris and appreciate him…..and, how, he too, can never do any wrong in your eyes. 🙂

48. I love how you will play the most random of games on your phone. Even though they are loud and ridiculous.

49. I love that you actually address “Siri” when you talk to her.

50. I love how you are my biggest fan.

51 I love how you have encouraged me every single day of my life.

52. I love that you have set such an amazing example of what motherhood looks like for me to imitate.

53. I love all of my memories with you, and how I can still remember what it felt like for my hand to be little inside of yours.

54. I love it that when I look at my own hands now, I see yours.

55. I love that you have been every person I’ve needed you to be….my mom, my friend, my husband, my sister….You have filled so many roles in my life when I’ve been without.

56. I love how much you loved your mom, and I love how you talk about her with so much affection. I know she is so proud of the woman she raised.

57. I love how much you loved your dad and how we can still laugh at the things he said and did.

58. I love how you light up a room when you walk in it. Not just because you are so beautiful, but because His love is so bright within you.

59. I love how you always bring peace into the most difficult of situations.

60. I love how you always bring gratitude into every single triumph.

Thank you for being the best mom and Nan. Thank you for being a living example of God’s grace, mercy, and love. I am so thankful that of all of the women in the world that could have been my mom, God chose you. I love you so very much.
Happy 60th Birthday, Mom. The best is yet to come.

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