I FINALLY started reading Nancy Beach’s book, Gifted to Lead. This should make Judy really happy who bought me this book a few months back. The gurl even signed it! No. Not Nancy. Judy.
There aren’t a ton of revelations that scream at me in the book. It is still a wonderful read for women called to lead. But, one thing – one voice – has been gently whispering in my ear while I’ve been reading Nancy’s words.
“That’s you. Go lead.”
Over the past several months, I’ve been as careful as I know how to be in listening to those whispers. Now, the only way I know to answer is to ask Him, “What do You want me to do?” “Where do You want me to go?”
For a long time, I’ve considered my role as a mother my primary ministry. And, it is. But, that is not my “fundamental identity.” Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend write in their book, Boundaries with Kids, “Parents who do not have a life apart from their kids teach the kids that the universe revolves around them.” They continue saying, “Meet the child’s needs, then require him to meet his own while you meet yours.”
Throughout my childhood, my parents modeled this same theory. They nurtured me. But, they also gave of themselves to so many. Granted, they were in ministry. However, seeing them minister in our home, seeing them minister beyond the home – in the church, amongst the broken-hearted, in third world countries – those are things that stay with me. Those are things that clued me into the fact that the world does not revolve around me. What a gift my parents gave me.
This doesn’t mean that a parent must work outside the home to model these things. Nancy writes, “I believe when a child recognizes that Mom or Dad is crazy about them, but also has some other interests passions, and responsibilities, that child is well served….Rather than assuming Mom and Dad will always be there exclusively for them, kids understand that other people and their needs matter as well.”
Dang. That’s good stuff. And, what’s even greater is when our children begin serving along side of us. Giving WITH us. For me, I’m going to start by choosing an activity – a service – that my children can do with me. I hope that in doing so, I will give to them the gift my parents gave to me. For realz.
Are you asking God what HE wants you to do?
9 responses to “What am I modeling for my children?”
You will do great! Just remember, right now they invite you in to thier new and fun world. But there will be a day you and KT invite them into your world with a peek at daily chores, responsibility. How does mom and dad do the “real” world. Dusty this may not include a mirage of pedicures, shopping, and massages. Just poking fun at you kid! You and KT will provide good stuff for those two in your care. Love ya.
Just for the record, I haven’t had a massage in over a year nor a pedi in quite a few months. Now, KT is another story. No, no. He hasn’t had a pedicure….lately. But, the boy does love his massages.
You are a wonderful model to your children!! You had great models as parents, extradinary people your parents! But we are all on different journeys, rest in knowing you are listening to the whispers! love you!
Proud of you Grasshopper!….as far as the kiddies go…the first place you lead jh and anna is to Christ…(you do a good job there)…you are much more of a leader than you realize….so…THAT’S YOU, GO LEAD!
Keep up the good work!
Good stuff. Think I’m going to probably need to read that book.
Great read today sis. I just started serving at LC again on the host team. I am LOVING greeting all those peeps into our church. Anyhoo… the kiddos are doing it with me. I was just reminded by your post that even little things like greeting is a way to serve and having them do this with me is one way to give their time as well. I needed that!
You know you could always get a bus like the Partridge Family. That way you could pursue ministry while your kids back you up in the band. I’m all about compromise 😉
I ask myself this often. And it’s hard because there are so many “good” things to do out there. What I am trying to figure out is what good do I need to give up so I can do the great that God has called me to.
My mother in law can’t understand why I would quit teaching. “You are such a good teacher.” And I agree with her. I am. But I am not a great teacher. While being a good teacher, I can also only be a good wife, good mom. I want to be great at what God has called me to. I know my time will be filled with something once I quit teaching; I’m hoping it’s great!