Tag Archives: modeling

Reset.

calm

“Remember. You show our children how to respond to stressful and difficult moments by how you respond to those moments.”

This was the reminder Kris gave me over the phone last night. You know, sometimes, when our husbands are right, we kind of want to roll our eyes or maybe throw a pie in their face. I jest a little. But, I couldn’t do either last night. I told him I recognized that my response was not good, and that I had allowed myself to get overwhelmed and would work through my stuff. He told me recognizing I was not in a good place did not make that place right. Again, he was right. So, I had to make myself right. And, I needed to do it right away. Not the next morning when all of the mercies are new. But, I needed to adjust then. In THAT moment.

It’s hard. We can work ourselves up faster than Clark Kent can turn into Super-Man. Then, we implode. Because, negativity is designed to do just that…..implode. We have to stop feeding it and giving energy to it. “When we hang up, reset your emotions, and go make it right,” he told me with the most tender of tones.

I didn’t have to wait for a sunrise to make that moment of spiraling emotions right. I just had to push the reset button. I didn’t feel like doing it, because staying in my overwhelmed emotions seemed easier. They validated me. They allowed me to justify my responses to stress. But, they didn’t produce anything good.

They didn’t model mercy or compassion.

They didn’t model the scripture, “be anxious for nothing…”

They didn’t model how to respond when life gets hard.

They didn’t model light.

They didn’t heal anything or anyone.

We can’t always calm the storm around us, but we can ALWAYS calm the storm WITHIN us.

And, that’s exactly what I did. I spoke to the storm within me, and said, “Peace be still.” I called my children together and asked forgiveness and spoke peace to them. In the very moment of my overwhelmed emotions, I reset and made it right.

You, too, always have the option to reset. No matter how powerful those negative emotions become….the God within you is greater. It is simply choosing to acknowledge who you really are and tapping into the peace that is already within you. Because, you have everything you need already inside of you. Everything.

You lack nothing.

Today, I choose to create my calm. I choose to model it. I choose to be the light in the dark and the calm in the storm. I choose to reset.

What do you choose today?

Be a lamp, a lifeboat, a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like shepherd. – Rumi

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Filed under God Stuff, Motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized, Virtue

Thankyousokindly, John Henry.

JH - self photog

Photograph taken by.  Yep.  John Henry.

I don’t allow my children to say “Shut up.”  Naturally.  However, I say “Shut up” when I’m surprised.  You know, like when someone says, “I just won a $10 million lottery,” and I respond “Shut. Up!”  Yeah, that “Shut up.” 

So, John Henry overheard a conversation much like the one above a couple of days ago….except, no one won a lottery else he would have chartered a jet plane to Bahamas and taken me.  I’m sure of it. 

The conversation concluded:

Me:  “Shut. Up!”

John Henry:  “Mom, careful with your words.”

Ouch.

A reminder that:

1) I need to model for my children what I’m trying to teach them.

And.

2) I need to always be careful with my words.

Always.

Our words shape our world.

Truly.

They really do.

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Filed under life, Motherhood, parenting

What am I modeling for my children?


I FINALLY started reading Nancy Beach’s book, Gifted to Lead.  This should make Judy really happy who bought me this book a few months back.  The gurl even signed it!  No.  Not Nancy.  Judy.

There aren’t a ton of revelations that scream at me in the book.  It is still a wonderful read for women called to lead.  But, one thing – one voice – has been gently whispering in my ear while I’ve been reading Nancy’s words. 

“That’s you.  Go lead.”

Over the past several months, I’ve been as careful as I know how to be in listening to those whispers.  Now, the only way I know to answer is to ask Him, “What do You want me to do?”  “Where do You want me to go?”

For a long time, I’ve considered my role as a mother my primary ministry.  And, it is.  But, that is not my “fundamental identity.”  Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend write in their book, Boundaries with Kids, “Parents who do not have a life apart from their kids teach the kids that the universe revolves around them.”  They continue saying, “Meet the child’s needs, then require him to meet his own while you meet yours.”

Throughout my childhood, my parents modeled this same theory.  They nurtured me.  But, they also gave of themselves to so many.  Granted, they were in ministry.  However, seeing them minister in our home, seeing them minister beyond the home – in the church, amongst the broken-hearted, in third world countries – those are things that stay with me.  Those are things that clued me into the fact that the world does not revolve around me.  What a gift my parents gave me. 

This doesn’t mean that a parent must work outside the home to model these things.  Nancy writes, “I believe when a child recognizes that Mom or Dad is crazy about them, but also has some other interests passions, and responsibilities, that child is well served….Rather than assuming Mom and Dad will always be there exclusively for them, kids understand that other people and their needs matter as well.”

Dang.  That’s good stuff.  And, what’s even greater is when our children begin serving along side of us.  Giving WITH us.  For me, I’m going to start by choosing an activity – a service – that my children can do with me.  I hope that in doing so, I will give to them the gift my parents gave to me.  For realz.

Are you asking God what HE wants you to do?

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Filed under giving, making an impact, Motherhood, parenting, Spiritual Journey