I usually do well watchin’ my tone with my husband. I’ve also learned that how we express certain issues can come across as an attack; thus, causing my husband to feel the need to defend himself.
I usually do well with this.
But, a few nights ago, I told him exactly what I thought about how he was handling a situation. May as well have added a “So, ha!” at the end. I left him in our family room and headed to bed.
So, he could stay up a while an mull that one over. Sure ‘nuff. Uh huh. Take that Captain Takle.
Because, that approach is going to make him want to run out and fight hard for the love of his life.
Orrrr, it’s more probable it won’t.
He came to bed shortly after. I didn’t see any apparent revelations in his eyes of how right I was and how wrong he was. He didn’t look at me and say, “Wow, Dusty. The way you approached this one really got to me. Thank you for showing me what is right. I will change the way I handle this. From now to forever more. Oh, my sweet, sweet love full of such wisdom and beauty. May, I please serve you Junior Mints in bed? Because, you are way too skinny, and I love to see you delight in all things chocolate.”
It didn’t go anything like that. As a matter of fact, my sweet husband said nothing.
Oh, beautiful conviction. For me, that is.
The next morning, I approached him as a very different Dusty from the one the night before. I told him how terribly sorry I was. I told him I handled my feelings very, very poorly. And, I asked him to please forgive me. Because, I was very wrong.
When I told him how wonderful he is and how he didn’t deserve my attack, he said, “Yeah. That’s kind of what I was thinking.”
I’m pretty conscious of how I address things with Kris most of the time. But, I failed miserably with this one. We probably all do from time to time. A softened, repentant heart is what was needed here. I knew it. And, he received it.
Whoever said “love is never having to say you’re sorry” was probably never married. Long.