Kris and I recently celebrated 16 years of marriage. So much has changed over these past 16 years. But, one thing that hasn’t changed is our commitment to “We signed up for this.” I’ve probably written a similar post before, because, it’s been something I want to tell married couples often. Every once in a while, I hear a spouse say, “I didn’t sign up for this” when something changes in their marriage. I always want to say, “YES, YOU DID.” When Kris and I first married, we were living in Oklahoma. He’s a pilot, so his schedule was never the same. There were seasons where he was gone every weekend flying to an OU game or flying clients to Turks and Caicos. (Bless his heart.) Then, there was a time where he flew charter, and he would be gone 7 days and then home 7. He later went to work for the airlines and would be gone A LOT. Never did I say as life changed or his schedule changed, “I didn’t sign up for this.” Even when it was hard.
The reality is, life changes. Constantly. Kris isn’t the same man I married. I’m not the same woman he married. I’m glad. He’s glad. Because, we signed up to grow together, to change together, to move together.
We signed up to parent children together. To sometimes have different views on how to handle discipline or whether to say yes or no. We signed up to grow and evolve together as parents.
We signed up to change careers together. To not allow what becomes comfortable and familiar to be what we cling to.
We signed up to move together. Whether we are in Oklahoma, Georgia, or the next place, home is with each other.
We signed up for wrenches being thrown into our plans.
We signed up for leaning into our difficult seasons and allowing Spirit to refine us through them.
We signed up for the easy and good seasons and allowing our souls to be refreshed through them.
We signed up for each other. Not a certain job. Not a certain schedule. Not a certain place. Not a certain season. Not a certain plan.
And, the real kicker: not a certain person.
Because, Kris isn’t the same person he used to be. And, neither am I.
I signed up for him. The ever-changing, ever-growing, ever-evolving, Kris Takle.
He signed up for me.
We’re both pretty glad we did.
Don’t get so hell-bent on things staying the same. Be flexible. Don’t allow a certain thing to become master of your life. Don’t cling to things that can fade away so easily: a space, a place, a plan. Cling to love. Knowing love changes and grows….but it’s still love. Love is what you signed up for. And, it’s always expanding. So, let love do what love does. Adjust when you need to adjust. And, try your best to enjoy the ride along the way by leaning into it and embracing it. You’ll be glad you did, too.