Tag Archives: repentance

Big Mama Says We Talk Too Much.

Yesterday afternoon, I found myself in my kitchen singing the words to “You Are Good.”  These lyrics rang through my head until nighttime:

Your kindness leads me to repentance
Your goodness draws me to Your side
Your mercy calls me to be like You
Your favor is my delight
Every day, I’ll awaken my praise
And pour out a song from my heart.

Romans 2:4 says, “Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you?  Does this mean nothing to you?  Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?”

It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance.  It’s His goodness that draws us.

My translation:  Stop judging and be so dang intolerant of other people.  God uses kindness, sweet words, and forgiveness to transform our own lives into something beautiful.

When people disappoint us….

When people don’t live up to our expectations….

Fill in the gap of your expectation of someone and what that someone actually does with kindness and forgiveness.

Even with your spouse.

Give him or her the benefit of the doubt.  When has expressing your disappointment with your spouse EVER worked?  There is a definite time and place for healthy communication.  Healthy.  There is also a time to keep your mouth shut.

I remember being aggravated with Kris once for not taking care of something before he left for a trip.  I was so stinking mad.  I picked up the phone to call him and tell him exactly how I felt about his oversight.

Fortunately for Kris, Big Mama was at my house.

“Talk, talk, talk. That’s the trouble with young people.  They think they need to talk everything out.  Sometimes, you just need to keep your mouth shut.  Put the phone down, and just forgive him.”

I’m pretty sure filling in the gap with forgiveness and a closed mouth did more for my marriage than that phone call would’ve done.

Trying to bring conviction to someone’s life never goes the way we think it will.  But kindness will always bring about effectual change.   And often times, our kindness towards others changes US.

It’s how God functions.   And, since we are of God….created in His image….isn’t it how we should function?

I am so thankful for His patience.  For His love.  For His mercy.

And, so thankful that His mercy calls us to be like Him.  Because, His ways are truly better.


Filed under Big Mama, disappointment, God Stuff, Marriage, Relationships

A Broken And A Contrite Heart.

I keep getting these e-mails about potential boarding schools.  I’ve yet to classify them as spam, you know, just in case.  Oh, I would never.  I could never. 

Could I?

No.  I love this insanely unpredictable saga I live with a husband, two kids, and a dog.  And, of course, baby number three forming as I type. 

Yesterday, I told you about our latest parenting issue with little Miss Takle.  But yesterday afternoon, I encountered a discipline issue with John Henry.  And, his response broke me.

He had mistreated his sister.  It was small stuff by most people’s terms.  But, we see treating each other the way Christ wants us to treat each other as big stuff. 

I sent him to his room.  I entered knowing that he would have to be disciplined.  After it was over, he fell in my arms, and wailed, “The things I did to my sister were wrong!”  His heartfelt repentance broke him.

It broke me.

I felt tears touching my shoulders, and I’m sure he felt tears touching his.  There are times when my children tell one another they are sorry, because we force it on them.  Then, there are moments like these where they are truly broken.  They experience true repentance. 

Later that evening, John Henry asked me to tell Kris what happened. 

“You want me to tell Dad?”  I asked him.

“Yes.  I want him to know,” he responded.

He doesn’t even understand the scripture of confessing your sins to one another, but he is already practicing it.  I couldn’t help but think.  When is the last time I felt that kind of repentance in my own heart?  Where I was really broken?  Am I that broken when I talk about someone behind their back?  When I mishandle someone?  When I sin against my Father? 

Lord, create in me a new heart.  Renew a right spirit within me.

Let me come before your throne with a heart of David.  And, understand, once again, the JOY of your salvation.   

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.  You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.  Psalm 51:17


Filed under God Stuff, parenting, Virtue

Love Is Having To Say You’re Sorry.

I usually do well watchin’ my tone with my husband.  I’ve also learned that how we express certain issues can come across as an attack; thus, causing my husband to feel the need to defend himself.

I usually do well with this.


But, a few nights ago, I told him exactly what I thought about how he was handling a situation.  May as well have added a “So, ha!” at the end.  I left him in our family room and headed to bed.

So, he could stay up a while an mull that one over.  Sure ‘nuff.  Uh huh.  Take that Captain Takle.

Because, that approach is going to make him want to run out and fight hard for the love of his life. 

Orrrr, it’s more probable it won’t.

He came to bed shortly after.  I didn’t see any apparent revelations in his eyes of how right I was and how wrong he was.  He didn’t look at me and say, “Wow, Dusty.  The way you approached this one really got to me.  Thank you for showing me what is right.  I will change the way I handle this.  From now to forever more.  Oh, my sweet, sweet love full of such wisdom and beauty.  May, I please serve you Junior Mints in bed?  Because, you are way too skinny, and I love to see you delight in all things chocolate.”

It didn’t go anything like that.  As a matter of fact, my sweet husband said nothing.

Oh, beautiful conviction.  For me, that is.

The next morning, I approached him as a very different Dusty from the one the night before.  I told him how terribly sorry I was.  I told him I handled my feelings very, very poorly.  And, I asked him to please forgive me.  Because, I was very wrong.

When I told him how wonderful he is and how he didn’t deserve my attack, he said, “Yeah.  That’s kind of what I was thinking.”

I’m pretty conscious of how I address things with Kris most of the time.  But, I failed miserably with this one.  We probably all do from time to time.  A softened, repentant heart is what was needed here.  I knew it.  And, he received it. 

Whoever said “love is never having to say you’re sorry” was probably never married.  Long.


Filed under Love, Marriage