I must be honest. Really, I must. I sort of feel silly for writing this post, because, I overcame the feelings I’m about to share with you about as quickly as they surfaced. But, if I’m going to be transparent on this blog, then I should be transparent. Right?
So, yesterday, I felt insecure. Insecure in how I look. Insecure in what I provide (or don’t provide) for my family….
Granted, I’m pregnant. I’m hormonal. Insecurities can happen to any woman – hormonal or not. But, I don’t like that feeling. I don’t like feeling “Oh heavens, if people could see me now with no make-up in my elastic waistband shorts and t-shirt that is fitting even more snug around the chest thanks to the growing size of my ta-tas and such.” You know. THAT feeling. Of course, I’m not ashamed at all to show you my freshly highlighted hair. That’s something, right?
So, I was dealing with all of these yuck feelings. Then, I’d wonder what in the Sam Hill Kris Takle could see in me now? Except, I do clean up well and can be ridiculously funny. But still.
After I put the kids to bed, I sat down on my sofa, and I thought about these feelings. Then, it struck me. At what point in my week did I begin making things all about me? At what point in my week did I fail to recognize my Creator, and who He is in my life? At what point did I fail to read His word? At what point did I take my eyes off of Him and put them on me?
I am enough. You are enough. Because, of His grace.
I didn’t chastise myself. I didn’t feel this huge urge to ask God for forgiveness. Instead, I felt relief. Relief knowing that all I have to do is look once again into my Savior’s eyes and see who I really am. A girl in elastic waistband shorts who is loved by a King.
I remember I’m a temple of God, and His Spirit lives in me. (1 Cor. 3:16)
And, again, I find my identity in Him.
Then, I’m okay.