Tag Archives: insecurity

When Insecurities Strike.

I must be honest.  Really, I must.  I sort of feel silly for writing this post, because, I overcame the feelings I’m about to share with you about as quickly as they surfaced.  But, if I’m going to be transparent on this blog, then I should be transparent.  Right?

So, yesterday, I felt insecure.  Insecure in how I look.  Insecure in what I provide (or don’t provide) for my family….

Just insecure. 

Granted, I’m pregnant.  I’m hormonal.  Insecurities can happen to any woman – hormonal or not.  But, I don’t like that feeling.  I don’t like feeling “Oh heavens, if people could see me now with no make-up in my elastic waistband shorts and t-shirt that is fitting even more snug around the chest thanks to the growing size of my ta-tas and such.”  You know.  THAT feeling.  Of course, I’m not ashamed at all to show you my freshly highlighted hair.  That’s something, right? 

So, I was dealing with all of these yuck feelings.  Then, I’d wonder what in the Sam Hill Kris Takle could see in me now?  Except, I do clean up well and can be ridiculously funny.  But still.

After I put the kids to bed, I sat down on my sofa, and I thought about these feelings.  Then, it struck me.  At what point in my week did I begin making things all about me?  At what point in my week did I fail to recognize my Creator, and who He is in my life?  At what point did I fail to read His word?  At what point did I take my eyes off of Him and put them on me?

I am enough.  You are enough.  Because, of His grace.

I didn’t chastise myself.  I didn’t feel this huge urge to ask God for forgiveness.  Instead, I felt relief.  Relief knowing that all I have to do is look once again into my Savior’s eyes and see who I really am.  A girl in elastic waistband shorts who is loved by a King.

I remember I’m a temple of God, and His Spirit lives in me.  (1 Cor. 3:16)

And, again, I find my identity in Him.

Then, I’m okay.

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Filed under God Stuff, life

It’s my party. I’ll cry if I want to.


So, I was sitting on my sofa, laptop in lap, my large canine friend in front of me, and incredibly hot husband to the right of me. 

“I’ve got nothin’.  I mean, I have nothing to write about.  Not when I’m feeling the way I’m feeling,” I blurted out to Kris. 

Whew.

That was hard to admit.  Not running on empty in the creative writing department part.  We all know “creative writing” and dustytakledotcom are not necessarily synonymous.  It was hard to admit that I was struggling inside with some emotions that I have withheld for, oh, about a week.  Ya see, I don’t suppress anything for long.  It’s just not my nature.  But, these feelings, for personal reasons, were just hard to uncover with Kris.  And, it wasn’t his stuff.  It was mine.  All mine. 

So, I told him.  And, I cried.  I cried some more.  Then, a little more. 

Every once in a while, I have an old issue that sneaks up on me.  And, I feel those feelings again.  An issue that I nailed to the cross long ago.  It’s an issue that tries to disguise itself as performance-minded or self-sufficiency.   But, when I tear away its mask, I see it for what it really is.

Insecurity.  A need for validation. 

I knew exactly what prompted those feelings.  Being honest with my feelings wrapped in a blanket of tears was what I needed.

Ahhh.  All better now.

If you’re having your own internal struggle right now, find a safe place and open your heart to him or her.  And, if you really want to get it all out, then cry, baby, cry.

Do you ever just need a good cry?

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Filed under life, Marriage