Phone Calls You’re Never Quite Prepared For.

Our lives are already so full, I can hardly imagine what life will look like when our third makes his or her debut.  The school year has started off well.  I mean, reasonably well.  John Henry’s teacher let me know that he is doing well, staying on task, and working hard.  Anna has been quick to tell me she is being a princess and “didn’t spit at any of my friends.”  Um, that’s good.

I did receive a phone call, however, from her teacher yesterday informing me that she arrived at school wearing no underwear under.her.dress.  Zilch.  Nada.  At first, I blamed her father, and I assured her it wouldn’t happen again.  It was fortunate (and a relief) to hear a laugh or three out of her teacher.  So, now our morning routines will look something like this:

Lunches – check.

Backpacks – check.

Teeth brushed – check.

Vitamins – check.

Underwear – check.

I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have dreamed of showing up at school without wearing underwear.  Mortified.  Not “unbothered” by it (to quote Anna’s teacher) like my four year old.  Of course, this dream was hardly as nightmarish as the time I dreamed the Incredible Hulk was chasing me in the church parking lot. 

For real.

Sometimes, I sit back and wonder how my mother felt at times raising a daughter.  Was she horrified when I used the display toilet at Cook’s department store in my hometown?  Was she embarrassed when she carried me out of church to spank me while I yelled to the congregation “PRAY!” and held onto the sanctuary doors for dear life?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say yes. 

Oh, the laws of reaping and sowing. 

“When you have children yourself, you begin to understand what you owe your parents.”  — Japanese Proverb


Filed under Kid Stuff, Motherhood, parenting, Say What?

12 responses to “Phone Calls You’re Never Quite Prepared For.

  1. Cracking up. That is a good story for sure.

  2. I think ” cracking up ” is the best comment ever. Everyone is playing for second. Commando Kid!

  3. Sabrina

    Oh my goodness! Dusty, it has only just begun. That is soooooo funny, it takes me back about 12 years ago when my daughter was at daycare. When I arrived to pick her up, some of the workers pulled me aside & asked what went on in the Chitwood household……with smiles on their faces of course! So I asked, “what did she do?” They said they were out on the playground & turned their heads for a moment & when they looked back up, Kaylee was at the top of the slide……….buck naked! All I could respond with was, “yes, we tried that once, but ya know……ya really don’t slide well when you’re stuck to it”. Then the time she came out of Kohl’s restroom while I stood at the door with our purchases. I had went in ahead to get the seat ready……layered 10 times, and went back out waiting for her….reminding her over & over to wash her hands when she was done…….so she proceeds to come out holding her wet hands in the air saying that they charge 25 cents for paper towels………….which was actually the feminine products dispenser! You gotta love these moments! They are PRICELESS!

  4. Just be glad that the girl is not into “socks with lace”….memoriessssssss…I forgot about Cook’s…unbothered, I like that…I think Bonnie is STILL LAUGHING 🙂

  5. AMEN to the Japanese proverb!!!!

  6. Bonnie

    Oh, I’m laughing harder…you went potty in the Cooks toilet that was for sale? Hahahaha
    My friend, I trillion heart you and your fam!

  7. Brenda

    And your goal in life was to be a cashier at Cook’s?

  8. Jaime Fausnaugh

    I’m so glad I read this, that just made me laugh out loud so hard! The PRAY! part..haha

  9. Laying here in bed laughing my rear off. (Oh, how I wish that could be a literal term. Sigh.)

    I really need to check my google reader more. Maybe I wouldn’t be 20 posts behind on your blog.

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