Category Archives: Say What?

January 14, 2011 · 5:00 am

Who You Are.

Apparently, I am not a Libra.  And, you are not who you think you are either.  In case you missed the overnight changes in Astrology, you can read about it here.  Honestly, I am not a follower of my sign, and I’m not about to debate its legitimacy with you.  A) I’m not that smart.  B)  I really don’t care.  ALL of this to share a funny text conversation with my foxy pilot:

Me:  “You’re not a Scorpio any more.  You’re a Libra!”

Kris:  “How come?  Was I born in a different month, and my momma lied?” 

Me:  “No. The Zodiac signs shifted and changed last night.”

Kris:  “Says who?  The Zodiac Czar?”

Me:  “You are all of the Zodiac signs to me, babe.”

Kris:  “Well, I hope I’m still an Ox at the Chinese restaurant.”

I swear he makes me laugh ALL OF THE TIME. 

On a more serious note.  Some of you really aren’t who you think you are.  After yesterday’s post, I was flooded with e-mails and messages from many of you asking me to pray for you. 

I did.  And, my prayers for you did not cease last night.  When I commit to pray for you, I really do.

I can’t tell you what it did to my heart to read your hurts.  Your fears.  Your struggles.  Your what ifs.  I think what broke me most were the few who really don’t see that God wants good things for them.  And, that God’s promises are as much for them as the next person.

So, some of you really aren’t who you think you are. 

But, you ARE who GOD says you are.  And, He says He loves you so much that He watched His son suffer for you.  He says you are so valuable to Him that He knows how many hairs are on your head.  He says you are such the apple of His eye that He pursues you Himself. 

He LOVES you.  And, there is nothing you can do to change that. 

May we all run after Him the way He runs after us. 

And, have a GREAT weekend.

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August 10, 2010 · 5:00 am

Really. Does This Post Warrant A Title?

Whenever I wake up and say, “Today is the day I begin to lose the rest of my baby weight,” I am certain to grab two handfuls of M&M’s right before bedtime.  And, I probably forgot about my proclamation by lunch time, too.  It’s not even that I struggle with the temptation of certain foods.  I JUST SIMPLY FORGET. 

I blame the fact that I am busier than ever.  Or, I blame Kris.  Because, surely, it is his fault for not taking responsibility for my lack of motivation or forgetfulness.  

And, I’m behind on my television viewing, AND my toes and hair are clearly in need of ministry.  It’s for these reasons I am aware that I need to re-prioritize my life.  I felt especially beautiful when my husband saw me yesterday, post shower, wearing my tennis shoes with my bath wrap.  I don’t know.  Tennis shoes just felt like the first natural step in the getting dressed process.  So, imagine my confusion when Kris inquired, “Would you like for me to take a picture of you?” 

I’m sure Kris’ exposure to my wrap/tennis shoes pairing only made his odd day odder.  He had just returned from a tiny, little town who apparently sells the cheapest cattle feed this side of the….I don’t know what this side of.  His feed wasn’t ready when he arrived, so the store owner suggested he go get himself “the finest breakfast in town.” 

Kris’ recap of his breakfast:  “There were no biscuits.  There wasn’t anything really.  No tables or chairs.  Only a piece of sausage and bacon served on a paper towel.  Then, there was the guy in the corner staring at me with one eye, while his other eye looked in the opposite direction.”

The store owner asked him how his breakfast was.  Kris commented on the absence of tables and chairs.  “Oh, that’s so they don’t have to get inspected.”

I do not lie.  And, neither does Kris. 

I encouraged Kris that, at least, he was able to skip out on the carbohydrates.  And, at least, I didn’t have on knee socks with my tennis shoes. 

You see?  There is always a bright side.

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August 6, 2010 · 5:00 am

Conversations with Anna.

Let’s keep the next few Fridays a little light-hearted, shall we?  We shall, we shall.  With a Friday title such as “Conversations with Anna”, I don’t think we have a choice really.  I journaled many conversations and situations with the one and only Anna Takle while on my blogging hiatus.  I just hated for it not to be penned permanently.

We’ll call this conversation “Conversation Obama.”  Why do I feel like I’ve lost readers already?

Anyhoo.

We fly a lot. I am married to a pilot, after all.  I’ve pretty much mastered the art of occupying my children while in flight with books, games, activities and such.  Well, mastered up until Anna breaks out into…being Anna. 

Scene:  John Henry is drawing a picture of a man.

John Henry:  “It’s a president.  I’ll give you a hint.  He’s on the quarter.”

Anna:  “George Washington!”

John Henry:  “Yes!”

Anna:  “Wait.  But, George Washington has fluffy hair.  This man does not have fluffy hair.”

***INSERT MOM TRYING TO CAPITALIZE ON AN EDUCATIONAL MOMENT***

Me:  “Okay kids, who is on the penny?”

Anna:  “Obama!!!”

Yes, we still have a little way to go on learning our country’s presidents.  But, she did know that Lincoln was our sixteenth president.  And, well, that is something. 

Hail to the Chief.

And, Happy Birthday to my momma.  She’s never been a president.  But she loves me and keeps ALL of my youngins.  So, she wins.

Love you @bcgoss.

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September 3, 2009 · 6:00 am

Phone Calls You’re Never Quite Prepared For.

Our lives are already so full, I can hardly imagine what life will look like when our third makes his or her debut.  The school year has started off well.  I mean, reasonably well.  John Henry’s teacher let me know that he is doing well, staying on task, and working hard.  Anna has been quick to tell me she is being a princess and “didn’t spit at any of my friends.”  Um, that’s good.

I did receive a phone call, however, from her teacher yesterday informing me that she arrived at school wearing no underwear under.her.dress.  Zilch.  Nada.  At first, I blamed her father, and I assured her it wouldn’t happen again.  It was fortunate (and a relief) to hear a laugh or three out of her teacher.  So, now our morning routines will look something like this:

Lunches – check.

Backpacks – check.

Teeth brushed – check.

Vitamins – check.

Underwear – check.

I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have dreamed of showing up at school without wearing underwear.  Mortified.  Not “unbothered” by it (to quote Anna’s teacher) like my four year old.  Of course, this dream was hardly as nightmarish as the time I dreamed the Incredible Hulk was chasing me in the church parking lot. 

For real.

Sometimes, I sit back and wonder how my mother felt at times raising a daughter.  Was she horrified when I used the display toilet at Cook’s department store in my hometown?  Was she embarrassed when she carried me out of church to spank me while I yelled to the congregation “PRAY!” and held onto the sanctuary doors for dear life?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say yes. 

Oh, the laws of reaping and sowing. 

“When you have children yourself, you begin to understand what you owe your parents.”  — Japanese Proverb

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July 23, 2009 · 6:00 am

What NOT To Say To Your Pregnant Wife.

Me:  “Kris, my pants are already getting a bit snug.  Do you think it’s because I’m pregnant with my third and pushing 35?”

Kris:  “Babe, you have to realize…you were in GREAT shape when you got pregnant with John Henry and Anna.”

Me:  “Do you ever say things and wish you hadn’t have said them?”

It’s a good thing I love him.  And, walk in forgiveness.

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May 14, 2009 · 6:00 am

What Do You Do With Your Loss?

First of all, I can hardly believe Danny Gokey is no longer a contender to be the next American Idol.  How-EVAH, it is certain that he will find success.  And, I guarantee that he will bring glory to God.  How do I know this? 

Because, he has already endured a much greater loss – losing his wife to complications from a surgery four weeks before he auditioned for Idol last year. 

Urged by his wife’s prodding, he not only went on to audition for Idol, but he also set up a foundation in his wife’s name which provides musical instruments to children.  My friend, Cindy Beall, would call this “turning his loss into a contribution.”

Danny’s favorite quote?  “Unshakable faith is faith that has been shaken.”

Some people become bitter.  Others become better.

I think we know which one Danny will become.

How do you handle loss?

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December 19, 2008 · 6:00 am

Anybody up for slaughterin’ a pig or something?


I consider myself a Southern girl but certainly not country.  Yet, when I replay conversations in my mind, I realize just how wrong I am.

A recent conversation with The Ex:

Me:  “Are you ready for Christmas?”

The Ex:  “Yes.  I’ve purchased John Henry’s gift, and I even bought myself a shotgun.”

Me:  “Wow.”

{And, then I said it.}

Me:  “You oughta come down to the farm sometime and shoot.”

I know.  Right?  That’s just embarrassing y’all.

Do you ever surprise yourself with the things you say?

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