Tag Archives: dreams

Don’t Kill the Wonder.

Wonder

I receive these texts every morning with some sort of positive affirmation or healthy advice for the day. Today, the text read, “Unapologetically seek bliss today.” The text link led me to an article called “‘Ikagai’ is Japan’s Secret to Living a Long, Happy Life.” The author writes that ikagai is “the happiness of always being busy, but it doesn’t mean a schedule packed with mindless errands and activities. Rather, the thing that makes you want to get up in the morning, makes you want to work hard, and colors your life with purpose.” She further writes, “When you follow through on things you enjoy and limit the things you don’t, you’re taking steps towards pursuing what’s important to you.” (Anna Meyer)

This came at such a perfect time as my dad and I were discussing yesterday how so many lose their wonder in life. The truth is, we kill it. Or someone else kills it for us. We kill it in our children completely unaware that we are doing it. When we seek after the things that fill us with joy, we inspire that wonder. When we stop, so does the wonder.

We tell our kids things like, “You can’t always get what you want.” We tell them, “Life isn’t always one big party.” I’ve done it. I’m sure you have. I know our hearts behind it aren’t wrong. We think we are teaching them responsibility. And, that lesson is important. We think we are teaching them to be realistic with their wants and goals. Now, THAT lesson isn’t so much. We think if our little ones want too many things, then they aren’t thankful for what they already have. So, we squelch or diminish the importance or value in them wanting something. We kill their wonder.

It’s not that we never use the word “no.” It IS that we become facilitators, teaching them how to create their world. Teaching them that life IS meant to be full of wonder. Teaching them it’s okay to seek happiness. A couple of years ago I read a book by Shefali Tsabary called “Out of Control.” She is also the author of the “The Conscious Parent,” which may be more familiar to you. One chapter was titled, “How to Say ‘Yes’ or ‘No” Effectively.” My conversation with dad prompted me to pull this book back off the shelf. I’m glad I did. I began reading again about how we kill their wonder when we don’t value what they desire. Tsabary writes that we “deliver messages such as, ‘You are being so greedy, you should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t you know that money doesn’t grow on trees? You seem to think we are made of money.’ Shaming our children for their honest desires in this way, we dishonor their feelings. A practical matter has become a personal issue, with the parent feeling frustrated and the child rejected. Our children have every right to want things – this is normal and healthy. It indicates they have a connection to their lives.”

You see our purpose isn’t to run out and buy those things for them. I’m not arguing you can’t. Sometimes, the joy of parenting is saying, “Yes. Let’s go get this.” BUT, the beauty for us as parents is to facilitate their dreams. To teach them to have goals. To help them create ways to work for these things and attain them. To let them know that we are for them and will partner with them. “Our children learn they are active co-creators in their universe, able to actualize their dreams through action. Such children grow up to make good decisions in life.”

I dare say, such children grow up to never lose their wonder for life. Because, we as parents have taught them what it means to truly be created in God’s image – Elohim – creators. Creators are always inspired. And, that inspiration always comes from wonder. So, everyday, they get up and unapologetically seek bliss by actively fulfilling their life’s purpose.

Finally, I would say that this is not selfish. It sounds self-fulfilling. Partially, it is. But, as each one fulfills his or her purpose, the rest of the world benefits. We all gain from each other’s gifts. Am I trying to create a world filled with magic and love and peace and hope and bliss? Am I THAT crazy to think it’s possible? You better believe I am. Now, YOU. Go seek bliss today.

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Filed under Chasing Dreams, Kid Stuff, Life Experiences, making an impact, Motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized

Chasing Babies, Chasing Dreams.

I’m back.

I made a few resolutions for this new year.  One was to blog.  Consistently.

Again.

I blame my previous lack of consistency on Mario Andretti here.

Why didn’t anyone tell me these little guys like to eat paper, climb stairs, swiffer floors, and find every single, tiny, choking hazard on the ground?  Because, clearly, I have never done this before.  Or, at least, that’s how it often feels. 

But, I also don’t remember soaking up every second of growth and change like I have done with this grand finale to the Takle family.  I think I am much more aware of that whole “you’ll blink your eyes” analogy.  And, he is a joy, I tell ya.

Along with my resolution to write more on this blog, I begin another writing adventure this week. 

A book. 

I am in the process of outlining a book with my dad on….

My lips are sealed.  Its title is top secret.  But, if you run into me in the grocery store, I’m sure I’ll tell you if you ask.

I’ve also been outlining a book on my own.  But, I’m switching gears on that one to devote my time to this collaborative effort with Dad.  I am hoping that by the year’s end, both will be finished.

Because, writing a book has been a dream. 

And, I’m excited about chasing after that dream.

What are you chasing after this year?

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Filed under Chasing Dreams, Motherhood, parenting, Writing

Phone Calls You’re Never Quite Prepared For.

Our lives are already so full, I can hardly imagine what life will look like when our third makes his or her debut.  The school year has started off well.  I mean, reasonably well.  John Henry’s teacher let me know that he is doing well, staying on task, and working hard.  Anna has been quick to tell me she is being a princess and “didn’t spit at any of my friends.”  Um, that’s good.

I did receive a phone call, however, from her teacher yesterday informing me that she arrived at school wearing no underwear under.her.dress.  Zilch.  Nada.  At first, I blamed her father, and I assured her it wouldn’t happen again.  It was fortunate (and a relief) to hear a laugh or three out of her teacher.  So, now our morning routines will look something like this:

Lunches – check.

Backpacks – check.

Teeth brushed – check.

Vitamins – check.

Underwear – check.

I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have dreamed of showing up at school without wearing underwear.  Mortified.  Not “unbothered” by it (to quote Anna’s teacher) like my four year old.  Of course, this dream was hardly as nightmarish as the time I dreamed the Incredible Hulk was chasing me in the church parking lot. 

For real.

Sometimes, I sit back and wonder how my mother felt at times raising a daughter.  Was she horrified when I used the display toilet at Cook’s department store in my hometown?  Was she embarrassed when she carried me out of church to spank me while I yelled to the congregation “PRAY!” and held onto the sanctuary doors for dear life?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say yes. 

Oh, the laws of reaping and sowing. 

“When you have children yourself, you begin to understand what you owe your parents.”  — Japanese Proverb

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Filed under Kid Stuff, Motherhood, parenting, Say What?

If Oprah Calls, Tell Her I’m Only Free On Fridays.


I wasn’t sure, but I thought God was trying to tell me something.  Last Saturday, I dreamed I won an Emmy for writing some fantastic television series.  Katherine Heigl was my BFF.  Oh, and I also saw John Travolta at some event, and I was like “Whatev” and all.  Then, last night I dreamed I was hanging out with Elvis Presley – the skinny, Viva Las Vegas Elvis, not the I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, because I can sing “How Great Thou Art” like it’s nobody’s business Elvis.

Since the king is no longer shakin’ it, I’m pretty sure it was the Benedryl talking and not the Almighty. 

Of course, those dreams sure are nicer than the dream that took years for me to recover from.  It’s the one where the Incredible Hulk chased me inside my dad’s church when I was a child.  It’s true.  You won’t like him when he’s angry.

I do have some real dreams.  You know, visions for my life.  The Bible says that “where there is no vision, the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18)  Since it’s true that one in two marriages end in divorce, I better have a vision for a closer, more intimate relationship with my husband, right?  A vision for a healthier me leads to time at the gym – something I saw for the first time yesterday in a very long time.  Otherwise, without this vision, I’ll probably just succumb to daily consumptions of chips and queso. 

We don’t just accidentally end up fulfilling visions.  We do it on purpose.  One of the visions I have for my children is for them to grow up with a heart after God.  That they will be fully surrendered followers of Christ all the days of their lives.  I realize this will probably not just happen.  So, I’m cautious with what kind of music they listen to.  I disciple them in small things.  We are intentional in praying before dinner.  I do things that will hopefully, with much prayer, lead them to seek His Kingdom first.

We have to be intentional.  To fulfill our life visions, we have to get there on purpose.

Do you have a vision for your life?  What are you doing on purpose to get there?

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Filed under life, parenting, Spiritual Journey

Women who have influenced me. (2 of 5)

Judy Young

Judy came into my life when I was only three years old.  Her daughter, Bonnie, has been my best friend since we were tots which pretty much crowns Judy as my second mom.  I’m sure she’s worn that crown proudly.  For real.

Judy has experienced everything with me from the loss of my first tooth to the birth of my firstborn.  She has cleaned up my messes, played games with me (this was no sacrifice – she loved to play more than I), watched me become mesmerized with Tinker Bell flying from atop of the Disney castle, and loved on me like her own.  All of this by itself is enough to make her shine in my life, but she has been more.

She believes big.  I mean really big.  Her faith is big.  She not only believes big for little ole’ me, but she believes big for the local church.  She loves the local church more than anyone I have ever known.  I have never, EVER heard her criticize the church.  She only speaks positive and powerful affirmations over the house of God.  You see, Judy believes that God really does live in the local church.  And, that’s just cool.  

She understands that God is truly in control.  And, she believes that the best is yet to come – always.

She’s called me many affectionate names over my lifetime, but for the past few years, she has come to call me “Grasshopper”.  She believes that God uses me and wants to continue to use me.  Oh, I get weekly e-mails where she gently pushes me into all that God has for me.  She dreams big and believes big. 

There is no one like her.   I’m beyond grateful that she has imparted to me the gift of BIG.  And, this little grasshopper loves her big.

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Filed under God Stuff, Relationships, Spiritual Journey