Tag Archives: brokenness

What Do I Do With This Spear?

I struggle with injustice.  I find myself wanting to make wrongs right.  I want to defend.  I want to set the record straight.  I want to pick up the spear thrown at me and throw it right back.

And, I have done just that before. 

But, if we look at the life of David, we see a man who trusted God enough to not return the spears. 

I’m not speaking of those times we feel righteous anger.  A righteous anger can be a desire to defend helpless children being abused or to stop human trafficking.  This is very different from what I’m talking about.  This post is also not a means of addressing bullying as so many of you expressed to me personally yesterday.  Perhaps, the issue of bullying is one I can write on soon with the help of many whose children have experienced it.  I just don’t feel equipped to speak on that issue as effectively as it should be addressed.  And, my heart breaks for those dealing with it on a daily basis. 

This post is meant to address when people speak against our character.  When we are criticized.  When we are persecuted.  When our actions are questioned. 

It’s very hard for me to not want to return the spears.  But, after reading Gene Edwards’ A Tale of Three Kings, I see a heart in David that I want.  Although he was hunted down and tortured by King Saul, he never retaliated.  Oh, he certainly had opportunity to.  But, he didn’t.  Had he returned Saul’s spears, he would have become like him. 

I don’t want the heart of Saul.  I want the heart of David.  What I do with those spears will determine exactly what kind of heart I will have. 

David’s torture by Saul occurred in his pre-king days.  But, he didn’t know he would be king one day.  Not at this time.  Edwards writes, “These were David’s darkest hours. We know them as his pre-king days, but he didn’t.  He may have assumed this was his lot forever.”

It wasn’t his lot forever.  He would one day become king. 

It’s not our lot forever either.  Not as long as we walk in humility.  And, according to Edwards, not as long as we…..

“One, never learn anything about the fashionable, easily-mastered art of spear throwing.  Two, stay out of the company of all spear throwers.  And three, keep (our mouths) tightly closed.”

I’ll be the first to admit, keeping my mouth tightly closed is not one of my strengths.  Can I get an amen, Kris Takle?

But, I’m working on it.  God wants me broken.  Humble.  Patient.  *GASP*

If you’re struggling with forgiveness, brokenness, or spear-throwers, I highly recommend A Tale of Three Kings.  It’s an easy read but heavy on the heart.

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Filed under disappointment, life, Spiritual Journey

She Gave All She Had.

The Holy Spirit doesn’t always work in us the way we think He might.  When I decided to surrender this pride thing, I was surprised how God chose to deal with it.  One very large way He has operated, if you will, is by breaking my heart for others in need.  Giving in the past has always been easy.  Even a no-brainer.  It was easy to write a check and make things better for someone in need.  And, it wasn’t that I was without compassion.  I just didn’t truly have an understanding of what it means to be broken for people less fortunate. 

I was reminded of the story where Jesus is teaching at the temple in Jerusalem where He witnessed the rich men’s donations.  But, it was one widow who gave two mites that caught His attention.

The others gave out of their abundance.  This widow gave everything she had.

And, not just financially.  She surrendered her whole self and everything she possessed. 

This especially went to straight to the heart of Christ.  Because, in a few short days, He would give everything He had on a cross.

I don’t want to just give out of my abundance.  I want to give out of my want.  Out of my hurt.  I want to give no matter what place I’m in.

That’s what Christ modeled for us.

I’m still learning to live a life fully surrendered. 

Are you?

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Filed under God Stuff, Spiritual Journey