Obsessive. Sometimes compulsive. But never obsessive-compulsive. This is me on occasion.
I’ve been all consumed with John Henry’s Kindergarten experience. Not only academically, but how he relates to others, how he feels about himself, and so on and so forth. He’s adjusting pretty well. But, he’s also having to learn how to adapt to structure, how to know when not to be funny, and how to know when to say “poop” (and never at a Christian private school….ever).
He is also trying to find his place in this brand new world. And, we are trying to teach him that he is great just the way he is. Yet, he has this need to be accepted. I guess we all do. But, he uses humor or exaggerated stories to prove to others his self-worth. It frustrates me. I worry about his emotional state. Whatever his teacher tells me, good or bad, affects me. Is this normal moms?
I became so emotional and so stressed over what is best for my little boy, I began to question my decisions for him. Perhaps, I should home-school him. Maybe he needs me all day every day. And, while I know that home-schooling is the right option for many, I just don’t think it’s what’s best for John Henry. At least not for now.
So I stressed.
I even cried like the hormonal chick that I am.
To my momma.
You wanna know what my momma told me? (I don’t know why I’m calling her “momma” when I’ve always called her “mom”, but we’ll just roll with it.)
She said, “Dusty, you have to trust God with John Henry’s life. You have to trust that God has His hand on him.”
Oh, but here was the kicker.
“Dusty, don’t you know that God loves John Henry more than you do?”
Get back Jack!
I responded like any other girl brought up in faith, hope and love, “Oh! You’re right! I forget that stuff!”
I forget that He is in control. I forget that I am not.
I forget that He who began a good work will be faithful to finish it.
I forget that He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Oh, that’ll preach.
You see all things were created by Him. All things are sustained by Him. And, He works all things for our good.
And, He loves my John Henry more than I do. Sure does. That’s a big honkin’ love.
Thanks, Mom.
DustyTakle.com 
Two things, isnt it great to have a mom who can get back to center? And you are smart to use her in those times!
I totally agree with the advice….BUT if JH needs us, we can always put on our Rambo suits and go to that school….remember we are His hands and feet in the earth….now… if we can make your mom understanddddd that “For Sale” signs are suppose to stand up in the yard!!!!!
Dusty, I can so relate to what you are feeling for John Henry. My kids are in their 40’s and I can still feel for them and be concerned for their wellbeing. I believe what happens to us is that when we see our children have struggles it taps into our own emotional history and we would like to protect our children from the same things. But, look at your life, mine and others. GOD was faithful and we can look back and see that our struggles have helped shape who we are. Remember the scripture, “All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.” That is not just for grownups. John Henry will become a wonderful product of a loving, caring mother named Dusty and a loving father. God bless!!!
Preach it Linda! (fathers, right? heehee)
This is a hard subject to deal with, and I have to believe it is normal for a mom to have these concerns. You just want to step in and do things for your children when they (your children) realize that they are not accepted by all people and are treated poorly by others or struggle at all. You just want to take them away from these things. Sometimes I think that I worry about this more than my own children do. We have to remember that most of these encounters(insecurities) are what give them their “character” and the way we (the parents) teach them to deal with it makes them the better people. Todays blog and comments are GREAT for me. Thanks!
Linda, amazing how we even forget how God has been so faithful to us – He’ll certainly do the same for our children. That’s good stuff!
Bonnie, I caught the “fathers” part. Funny. But true! Today’s comments are GREAT for me, too!!
By the way, when I dropped John Henry off at school this morning, his teacher told me how much better he is doing. Whew. God is good. His word is true. Still gonna stay on him. We all need to be reminded of who we are in Him. Every single day.
Dusty, I home-schooled Marcus for Pre-K right after I had Sam and I loved it. It was very difficult because I was still working for Jimmy in the office two days a week and then from home the other 3 days of the week, taking care of an 8-week premature newborn and then 3 months later pregnant again with little miss Molly. But Mr. Marcus had been in daycare since he was 2 weeks old and this was my one oppportunity to spend time with him and by golly, I was going to do this! We had a great experience and he was reading by the time he was 4 1/2. I felt it was a great sacrifice to home-school him. By the time kindergarten time rolled around, Molly was born and Jim wanted me to run the company and Marcus really needed the social interaction with kids his own age and the ability to develop his own identity. Staying at home he was becoming my little nanny with the babies and I didn’t think that was fair to him at his age. So, off we go to Christian Heritage. It was so hard to send him to school, I know exactly what you are going through and just like John Henry, Marcus was kind of the “class clown”. Marcus loves to make people laugh and he feels accepted by others when he makes this happen. But it was happening to the point that he was starting to not be himself. He was overacting. I think alot of it came from the wave of babies that hit his house and he didn’t know how to take it. He wasn’t sure how to make his place in the world. Jeff and I have just spent alot of one on one time with him and with the help of his christian schooling and Jeff and I’s constant reminders that God made him special and that everyone loves him when he is Marcus and no one else. It will take time and I know it is frustrating, I believe Kindergarten is a big stepping stone, especially for little boys, to go from little guys to big individual thinkers. Be patient, trust in the Lord and give constant assurance to John Henry that he is special just the way he is. No matter what. Because that’s the way God made him.
My mom died 8 years ago. I would so love to be able to ask her questions and talk to her like that.
Dusty, I thought about “in our weaknesses, He makes us strong”! That always frees me up, with my ups & downs of life, to know, we are always learning something new. To let go, let God, or trust God in those not so trusting places…..I was watching Joyce Meyers this morning, even that strong woman of God, had fears of her kids not making it, of showing weaknesses, she worried for years, & now they do BIG STUFF for the Lord. And she said she goes to them for advice…lol, so, I know you are training JH, Anna up in the way they should go. Good job & good blog. I also loved the comments, they helped me too! keep them coming!
Okay, among the four kids, I’ve done it all: homeschool, private school, and public school. It’s all hard and they all have their issues. Just keep listening to your Mom and remember your Dad’s saying, “Everything is gonna be all right!”
I have always said that there are two things nobody messes with. One is someone’s money and the other is their children. Not necessarily in that order. Either case would create ill feelings (at the very least). We always want to protect our kids and make everything right for them. I have learned the hard way that it is impossible for us to do so. Listen to your mother on this one.
I became so emotional and so stressed over what is best for my little boy, I began to question my decisions for him. Perhaps, I should home-school him. Maybe he needs me all day every day. And, while I know that home-schooling is the right option for many, I just don’t think it’s what’s best for ___________ At least not for now.
DID YOU READ MY JOURNAL TODAY!!! GIRL, GIRL.
I have to agree with you about yo mama. She is one of the wisest women I have ever met.
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