What Do You Do With Your Loss?

First of all, I can hardly believe Danny Gokey is no longer a contender to be the next American Idol.  How-EVAH, it is certain that he will find success.  And, I guarantee that he will bring glory to God.  How do I know this? 

Because, he has already endured a much greater loss – losing his wife to complications from a surgery four weeks before he auditioned for Idol last year. 

Urged by his wife’s prodding, he not only went on to audition for Idol, but he also set up a foundation in his wife’s name which provides musical instruments to children.  My friend, Cindy Beall, would call this “turning his loss into a contribution.”

Danny’s favorite quote?  “Unshakable faith is faith that has been shaken.”

Some people become bitter.  Others become better.

I think we know which one Danny will become.

How do you handle loss?


Filed under disappointment, life, making an impact, Say What?

7 responses to “What Do You Do With Your Loss?

  1. Karen

    I had to decide if I wanted to answer this, because it’s not easy.

    My husband & I lost our almost 2 year old son in a drowning accident at my father-in-law’s lake house property, in 1983. We hadn’t been married for even 5 years at the time. It was, for both of us, the first funeral we’d been to. He was 26, I was 27. He remembers the service & burial, I still have a lot of gaps, only remembering parts of it.

    As we moved through the various stages of grief, we realized that even though we RAGED at God for taking/letting Shawn die, there was a reason. Not knowing, still, is difficult. I figure that will be the 1st question I would like to have answers to, when the time comes & we know all.

    Now, we’re at the stage of planning vow renewals on our 30th anniversary, which is next month. If the less than helpful man makes it alive, which at this point is questionable. (I’m kidding. Only about the alive part.)

    How did we make it? One minute, then an hour, then a day, & so on, at a time. We’re stronger. We’re better. We beat the odds. 95% of couples that lose a child like that don’t make it. It’s not something we tried for, but we had to have someone who knew where we were, to hold on to. We held on to each other.

    We know that God, in His infinite wisdom, put 2 totally different individuals together for a reason, while telling us this is what’s supposed to be, so work it out. We did.

    I put this here, because maybe someone who has gone through something similar can see it can be lived through. If we can make it through this, we can beat anything.

    Hopefully, the guy on Idol will do the same.

  2. RonJon

    Can anyone say, “Broken Hallelujah”. Thank you Dusty and Karen for sharing.

  3. Bravo to you and husband Karen! That is tough! What a blessing!

    With Danny, I admired him for persevering when I know he had to have tough times…but God gave him something to keep going for. What a legacy he will leave behind like Karen & her husband up above with that testimony of Grace! Whoa!

    My parents lost a 5 year old son in 1952, he was hit by a drunk driver on a dirt road. They got closer to God through that time, went to Church more. Which is a good road to travel to gain peace. My Mom had 3 more children after Richards’ death, to value as priceless. God is merciful. Loved the blog Dusty! Love you BIG!

  4. Des

    We’re missing Gokey at the Ranter household too.

  5. Wendy Verdon

    I too love Danny and his story and his love for her showed in his songs that he sang from the heart. My heart so ached for him. He is a beautiful soul.

    Karen, I honestly don’t know how I could go on if something happened to one of my children. I think that would have to be the worst pain on earth! I am so sorry for your loss.

    I know even after that long, it still hurts deeply. I lost my mom when I was 21 and it is a pain that I still live with each waking day! I miss her so much. I was never “mad” at God, because being raised the way I was always in Church, I knew there was a reason and like you I wondered if I would ever find out the reason. I also know I am not suppose to question God and normally you will see the answers. This is the one thing that I still am not 100% clear on, but someone once told me that God needed another Angel and that is why he called my mom home. That, I can accept, because she had cancer and was in such pain. I know she is no longer in pain.

    She was such an amazing woman. I just thank God that I did have her as long as I did, even though as short as it was, some people lose their parents even earlier, so for this I am thankful and I am also thankful we had a great relationship.

    The first 10 years after her death, I had nightmares weekly and could only see her dying…I was there the day she took her last breath. Then one day, I started having dreams where she would be calling me and we would be talkng on the phone and all I would think was, “she is doing so good, I need to go see her”, but I could never get there before I woke up. Can you imagine when I would wake up how happy I was to have seen her in my dreams, but how sad I was that I could never get to her? It hurts so bad. I pray everyday that God will send her to me, either in spirit or in my dreams. I have not had a dream about her in a very long time.

    But Dustie – in answer, what do you do with your loss? My answer is I treasure my life and the lives around me and know how it can be gone in a second. I thank God for everything he continually does for me and will do for me. He is so amazing and we have to remember, we are not promised tomorrow on this earth. I also believe we will be reunited one day in Heaven with our loved ones and that will be a wonderful day.

  6. Donna W

    I know I am a little late with this one….
    But sometimes, I read your post and just say WOW. This was one of those days.
    Thanks Dusty!

  7. Wow, Karen. Wow.

    Amazing quote from Gokey. Love that boy.

    My favorite quote: “There is nothing sadder in the human condition than unredeemed suffering.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s