This weekend, I enjoyed a movie with a really fun date – my Mom. She’s even more fun because she buys my ticket. She would’ve even bought my Junior Mints, but I didn’t really want to indulge. Swear. I snuck in my own water, too, because I’m a rebel. I know, the streets, they fear me.
Movie? The Proposal.
But, what accounted for most of the hilarity were the two elderly women who sat beside me. When (let’s call them Maude and Ethel) first entered the theater, I saw them in search for two free seats. Mom and I had commandeered the best seats in the house. My purse was resting on the seat to my left leaving only one free seat. And, we all know the unspoken rule that there is always a seat between you and a stranger.
I began to feel a little compassion for Maude and Ethel, so I broke the unspoken rule and removed my purse.
“You can both sit here,” I told them, feeling pretty good about my overt sweetness. Okay, perhaps “overt sweetness” is a stretch. But, I did break the skip a seat rule. And, that’s somethin’.
Right before the movie began I heard Maude and Ethel just a gibberin’ back and forth. A gibber here. A snicker there. And, they weren’t ashamed of their vocal volume. I leaned over to Mom, and told her, “Ya know, you try to do a good deed, then BAM – Maude and Ethel just won’t pipe down.
And, they didn’t for the entire movie.
It was like going to a movie with my late Great Aunt Mabel. Great Aunt Mabel was loud and followed up every statement with “I ain’t got no reason to lie,” which made me think she was really always lying.
But, this isn’t about Great Aunt Mabel. No. This story is about Maude and Ethel.
So, Maude and Ethel commented, sighed, and even groaned the entire movie. The groaning was even more evident when Ryan Reynolds’ bare skin covered the screen. And, when Sandra Bullock stood up in her Christian Louboutins without grabbing hold to something for balance, Maude shouted, “Ooohhh, I could never do that.”
In the end, I heard Ethel say, “Oh my gosh, I’m cryin!”
And, I was crying, too. From laughing so terribly hard. ‘Cause between Betty White and Maude and Ethel, you’ll have your mascara running in no time. Thank goodness Maude brought her handkerchief.
So, yes. I say go see the movie. And, if you can take Maude and Ethel with you, it’ll make it all the more entertaining.