Tag Archives: dying to self

It’s Always Better.

And, this is how the conversation went yesterday.

John Henry:  “Mom, Anna says you die when you get baptized.”

Anna:  “Mom, it’s true!  The old Anna dies and a new Anna comes up out of the water!”

Me:  “Anna is right.”

John Henry gave me quite the dumbfounded look.  So, of course, I explained what dying to oneself means.  Dying to one’s own thoughts, belief systems, and desires and whole-heartedly seeking after those of Christ. 

The truth is. 

I have to die myself every single day.  I have to consistently make myself make right choices in how I respond to people.  I have to consistently choose to forgive even though holding a grudge seems easier at times.  None of it is always easy.  But, it’s always better.

It’s always better to admit to my children, “Mommy was wrong.  Would you please forgive me?”  This way they know the behaviors and words that are good and healthy.

It’s always better to squash my pride and take my husband’s hand after an argument.  This way we both know we are okay.

It’s always better to forgive a friend and shut my mouth about it.  This way I can continue to pour into her life and she into mine. 

It’s always better to forgo a day set aside for some “me” time to spend the day counseling someone struggling.  This way she will know God loves her, and her life matters.

It’s always better to give up sleeping in on a Sunday morning to go to the local church.  This way my children will always be reminded Who their source is for every need they will ever have.  And, they will know how much they need the body of Christ.

It’s always better to choose Him.  I don’t always understand His ways and thoughts.  But, I do know that choosing them is always better.  I’ve never heard someone say, “The worst mistake of my life was forgiving that person.”

Or making up with my husband.  Or making things right with my children.  Or going to church.  Or helping out a friend in need.

Dying is always better.  It’s in the dying that I truly live for Him.

23 Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.  24 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.  Luke 9:23-24

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Filed under God Stuff, Kid Stuff, parenting, Relationships

Search My Heart.

I love it when I have my blogs already typed out waiting for me to press “post.”  It’s convenient.  I do not like it when I stare at that post with a look of disgust on my face, because I know it’s really not the words that were meant to go up on the Interweb that day.

So, here I sit.  The night before you will read this entry.  With a look of disgust on my face.  Typing a new post.  A post that is much more honest for what is going on in my heart today.

You want the truth?  You can’t handle the truth! 

Sorry.  I love repeating Jack.  And, I will tell him hello for y’all this weekend when we meet for a latte at the Sundance Film Festival.  I’m not at all excited about that.

Okay.  Back to the truth.  The truth is.  I question my thoughts often.  I turn my heart inside out searching for things that may be off a bit.  Am I judging this person?  Are my thoughts on this situation filtered through the Spirit? 

Sometimes, I come out of my heart search with a clear conscience.  Other times, I come out of it with a desperate cry for God to take whatever is not of Him and trash it.  And, replace it with right thinking.

I don’t walk in condemnation with my yuck stuff.  I release it immediately.  But, I do walk with a keen awareness of how much of my life still needs to die to Him.  I cannot tell you how many times I pray, “God, more of You.  Less of me.”  And, I have found that the best way for me to be aware of my own heart is constantly searching after His. 

I have learned that God is not a conquest.  I will not one day be done finding Him.  There is so much more to discover about who He is.  And, there is so much more of me that needs to die to Him.  Because, it is in my dying, that I live a life that brings glory to Him.  It is in my dying that I am a better wife.  A better mother.  A better friend. 

I need to die to myself today.  Again. 

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.  Psalm 139:23-24

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Filed under God Stuff, Spiritual Journey