Tag Archives: forgiveness

February 6, 2009 · 6:00 am

I have two daddies.


*Originally posted April 15, 2008

Once upon a time at a wedding of my dear friend, Brittany, my son served as a ring bearer.  Dressed to perfection, another overheard him say, “I have two daddies.”  Brittany’s friend who heard this rather common phenomenon asked another, “Are his daddies gay?”  I still laugh about this even today.  As for Kris and Bryan (the daddies), well, they find it less comical. 

John Henry has a daddy.  And, before he turned one year, he was blessed with another daddy.  We make it work.  We really do.  You see, we had this novel idea:  John Henry comes first.  We have dinners together, and we have even vacationed together.  I realize how strange my life may seem to some, but for us, it is our “normal”.  Of course, a situation like ours would never work without Kris.  He has never been “territorial”, nor has he ever felt threatened.  He loves John Henry.  Period.  And, because of John Henry, he loves Bryan. 

Here are his two daddies.  (Left: Bryan, Right: Kris, Center: A blessed boy) They are patient and kind.  They are not jealous.  They endure through every circumstance.

jh-bryan-kris

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

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December 15, 2008 · 6:00 am

Out of the mouth of babes.


Happy Monday Y’all!  I hope your Sunday Experience was a great one.  The UCO (University of Central Oklahoma) Ebony Gospel Choir performed at Lifechurch.tv.  That choir is where it’s at.  For real. 

Back in the Peach State, my dad is doing a new series called “reDiscovery.”  Yesterday, he talked about rediscovering our youth.  I realize I wasn’t there for the message, but I do read over his messages QUITE.A.FEW.TIMES before the Sunday Experience.  I can hear dad reading this post now.  “Oh, using my notes for your blog, huh?” 

Uh-huh.  I am.

I believe we can learn a lot from children in how we present ourselves to our Heavenly Father and how we do life.  Dad talked about {at least, he was supposed to} several desirable traits children have.  One of those being “forgiveness.”  I was reading Anna the story of Adam and Eve from her Beginner’s Bible the other day.  I finished with,

“It was a sad day when Adam and Eve left.  God sent an angel to the garden.  The angel held a flaming sword.  He flashed it back and forth so no one would go back into the garden.”

Anna immediately responded, “That was mean!”

Most of us would argue that they deserved it because of their disobedience.  And, well, since it WAS God’s decision, we can’t really say He missed that one.  But, Anna’s willingness to overlook other’s mistakes here is what really spoke to me.  How often I can have this judgmental, you had it comin’ to ya attitude.  When in reality, God has called us to be like a child, always forgiving and a springboard of grace and mercy. 

We can leave the flaming swords to Him. 

He is God.

We’re His children.

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October 8, 2008 · 6:00 am

As far as I’m concerned.


Did you love B Shaw Brittany Thoms or what?  I’m telling you folks.  She is a gem.  I can’t wait to meet her sweet baby Carson next month.  No doubt that baby’s first word will be “Go”, and his second word will be “Dawgs”. 

I told you on Monday one of the two statements that stayed with me since my Willow Creek experience.  I thought it only appropriate to share the other.

By Nancy Beach, of course.  Sure.  You love Bill.  I love Nancy. 

Nancy said that we should strive to always be able to say, “As far as I’m concerned, I am at peace with everyone.”

This means we’ve done all we can do to make a situation right.  To forgive and be forgiven.  What if the other person is resistant to walking out forgiveness with you?  What if he or she is allowing bitterness and resentment to take root?

If you have humbled yourself and tried to make peace with that person, then all you can do is rest in your effort to make it right. 

It’s hard to be the best you or the best me when we have unforgiveness in our hearts.  Or when there is just uncomfortable tension between you and a friend.  I’ve been there before.  I’ve hurt and, I’ve been hurt.  And, trying to do life with those hurts robs us of perfect peace.  Nothing was so freeing as making those relationships right. 

You can’t make someone forgive you.  You can’t make another individual nail their bitterness to the cross.  But, as far as YOU are concerned, you can be at peace with everyone.  It doesn’t mean the other person’s unforgiveness doesn’t hurt.  I’m afraid it often does.  But, it doesn’t have to rob you of peace.  My mom always tells me that “peace of mind is worth its weight in gold.”  She is so right.

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.  Romans 12:18

Is there a relationship you need to make right?
Have you ever experienced the hurt of unforgiveness?

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October 7, 2008 · 6:00 am

Guest Blog – Brittany Thoms: “Free Throw Shot”


I’ve known Brittany (B Shaw) Thoms since she was a tot.  Throughout Britt’s adolescent years, she considered me a mentor.  Now, we mentor each other.  You’d be hard pressed to find another girl with greater passion for Jesus.  And, I couldn’t be more blessed to call her my friend.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Brittany Thoms.

“Free Throw Shot” by Brittany Thoms

It’s hard to imagine thinking the way God thinks.

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts [higher] than your thoughts. – Isaiah 55:9

But I feel like every now and then, God gives us glimpses of what it really means to be made in His likeness. Parents know this very well and as a soon-to-be mom (November), I’m crazy excited about learning more about God through my son. J

In his book, “In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day,” Mark Batterson writes:

One of my most memorable moments as a parent happened during my son Parker’s rookie season in little league basketball. His team hadn’t won a single game all season … [and Parker] had a 98 percent air-ball percentage from the free-throw line.

So Parker got fouled and went to the free throw line. And to be perfectly honest, I felt bad at first because I knew my son had a 98 percent chance of being embarrassed. But I prayed like it was the day of Pentecost! I wish I could say that I prayed that Parker would make the free throw, but I didn’t have that much faith. I just prayed that he would hit the rim. But Parker stepped up to the free throw line and renewed my faith in the power of prayer. Parker defied the odds and made the first free throw of his career.

                And I cried.

There is tremendous joy in watching someone achieve greatness.  Why do parents rejoice when their children do something right?  Why do moms carry around “brag books?”  Because, our Heavenly Father is no exception.  Don’t you think God rejoices all the time when His children operate in the gifts He placed inside of them?

The other side of this coin is sorrow.  I think of God more and more every time I consciously forgive someone.  Forgiveness isn’t second nature.  It hurts.  And what’s worse?  We are constantly reminded of our wounds and have to forgive the same person for the same thing multiple times – whether it was 20 years or 20 days ago.

And I think, “Wow. God, you REALLY love us … because we do stupid things that hurt you all the time.”

Consider this:

                My sins nailed Jesus to a cross.

                I bet that hurt REAL bad.

                Yet, He still loves me.

                Wow.

So, when I’m reminded of wounds where others have scarred me, I think of the scars on Jesus and how it drives His love for us to an even deeper level:  unconditional.  And when I catch someone being great, I’m equally reminded how much God gets excited over us.

But most of all … I want to love like Jesus loves.

 

 

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August 25, 2008 · 6:00 am

East to West.


I’m forgiven.   Every day.  Because, I do not walk a sinless life, I have to be.  And, He freely gives it to me.  Yet, many struggle still with this concept.  How can the creator of the heavens and the earth, the author and finisher of our faith forgive a little me with dirty, rotten insides?

Because, He is the creator of the heavens and the earth, the author and finisher of our faith.  And, He does whatever He pleases. 

But, perhaps, a better answer is because He loves you and me.  Since the day He created man, God has desired to walk in relationship with us all.  And, it’s His desire for that relationship – and His immense love for us – that He so sweetly forgives us all. 

He forgives all things. 

He sacrificed His very own son to wipe away our sin. 

I love ya.  And, I’d maybe die for some of you.  But, I sure as heck wouldn’t give up one of my youngins for any of you. 

But He did.  ‘Cause His love is a love that surpasses all knowledge. 

Don’t let guilt grip you.  Don’t let it hold you hostage.  Know that you are a child of God cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ.  You are forgiven.  And, oh, how you are so loved.

11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.  12 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.  Psalm 103:11-12

Aren’t ya so glad?

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June 26, 2008 · 7:00 am

Do Over.


Remember when you were a kid playing one of those recess games, and someone would yell, “DO OVER!”  And, usually he got his do-over?  Life’s not always so simple.  There have been many circumstances in my twenty-three thirty-three years I wish I could do over. 

Like the time I told my parents I was going to see Driving Miss Daisy with friends, and I cruised up and down Taylor Street instead.  My mom asked me which theater the movie was playing in….smart little booger….. “the left theater, center theater or right theater?” 

“The, the, the left!” I answered.

How could I not know it was the center?  After all, the movie was filmed in my hometown.  Why wouldn’t it take center stage?  I wish I could do that one over.  It would have saved me two weeks of grounding.

I’d also like a do-over on the time I colored my hair orange, my last speeding ticket, and probably the chips and queso I ate yesterday.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I’d so eat the chips and queso again today.

Point is, we all have something in life we’d like to get a do-over on.  For most of us, they are not things as trivial as mentioned above.  We’d like a do-over on a friendship, a marriage, a job – you know what I’m talkin’ about.  And, while we can’t get do-over’s on those things, we do get a do-over every day with God. 

Many people think we serve a God who stands over us with a giant rock, ready to crush it on our little heads.  A God whose wrath is fierce.  A God who positions Himself to punish His children at a moment’s notice. 

That’s not Him. 

At the second we ask Him to create a clean heart in us, He does.  He is a God who loves.  A God who forgives.  We don’t have to earn it.  We don’t have to work for it.  The price has already been paid.  He freely gives, we freely receive.

I get a do-over every morning.  I’m glad I do.  I need it.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:22-23

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