Tag Archives: crying

Emptying the Tank.

Anna:  “Mom, can people live to be 160 years old?”
Me:  “I don’t think so.  It’s not the norm.”
Anna:  “Well, that’s okay.  Because, really only our bodies die.  We go to heaven and God gives us a new body.”
Me:  “You’re right.”
Anna:  “I used to be afraid to die, but I’m not afraid to die any more.”

Anna used to bring up death and cry so hard that it was nearly impossible to comfort her.  Her eyes would be swollen from weeping over the thought of losing me or her dad or the realization that she, too, will leave this earth one day.  These conversations were heart-wrenching for her in the past. 

Each day as I watch my little girl grow and gain a little more wisdom, I learn to let her tears flow at those things she doesn’t understand or skills she has a difficult time learning.  Whether its tears from struggling with her shoe laces or from not being included in a game with her brother and his friend, I’m letting those tears flow. 

 Before, I wanted to fix her immediately.  I wanted the tears to stop. 

 But, now I let the tears the flow.  Sometimes, without even asking why.  Now, I let the tough lessons in life pour out with every drop. 

 Because, it’s only when the tank is empty, that God can fill refill it with His understanding.  His truth.  His refreshing water. 

 I guess you can say, I am learning to be Anna’s mother and let God be God in her life.  I’m letting her pour out.

 So, He can pour in.

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Filed under God Stuff, Kid Stuff, Motherhood, Spiritual Journey

It’s my party. I’ll cry if I want to.


So, I was sitting on my sofa, laptop in lap, my large canine friend in front of me, and incredibly hot husband to the right of me. 

“I’ve got nothin’.  I mean, I have nothing to write about.  Not when I’m feeling the way I’m feeling,” I blurted out to Kris. 

Whew.

That was hard to admit.  Not running on empty in the creative writing department part.  We all know “creative writing” and dustytakledotcom are not necessarily synonymous.  It was hard to admit that I was struggling inside with some emotions that I have withheld for, oh, about a week.  Ya see, I don’t suppress anything for long.  It’s just not my nature.  But, these feelings, for personal reasons, were just hard to uncover with Kris.  And, it wasn’t his stuff.  It was mine.  All mine. 

So, I told him.  And, I cried.  I cried some more.  Then, a little more. 

Every once in a while, I have an old issue that sneaks up on me.  And, I feel those feelings again.  An issue that I nailed to the cross long ago.  It’s an issue that tries to disguise itself as performance-minded or self-sufficiency.   But, when I tear away its mask, I see it for what it really is.

Insecurity.  A need for validation. 

I knew exactly what prompted those feelings.  Being honest with my feelings wrapped in a blanket of tears was what I needed.

Ahhh.  All better now.

If you’re having your own internal struggle right now, find a safe place and open your heart to him or her.  And, if you really want to get it all out, then cry, baby, cry.

Do you ever just need a good cry?

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Filed under life, Marriage