Tag Archives: nagging

I’m A New Wife! Again!

I’ve never really considered myself the nagging wife. 

Until, I recently realized I had become a nagging wife.

What?  Me?  Yes!  Me!

I’m married to a pilot man.  You know this.  I started noticing that when he was out and about burning holes in the skies, I missed him.  I didn’t miss what he does for me while he’s here.  Just the person, Kris Takle.  My husband.  A sweet kind of miss.  The kind where you send the sweetest text messages and say the sweetest things on the phone. 

Well, this doesn’t sound like nagging.  Of course, it doesn’t. 

Enter nagging.

Pilot man comes home.  I forget how much I missed him and focus on his flight bag on our bedroom floor.  Unpacked.  Then, I notice how we need to spruce up our landscaping.  And, I notice that he doesn’t notice this.  And, his laptop on my kitchen counter?  Really? 

Pick.  Pick.  Pick. 

I fail to notice a husband who tells me how beautiful I am.  I fail to notice a man who desires me, encourages me, and builds me up.

Why?  Because, I’m so focused on what he’s not doing, I am blurring everything good out.

I recognize this in myself.  I hate this in myself.  I hate that I am doing this to the man I love.  To the man who loves me.  So, I tell him.  We talk it out.  And, make a commitment to stop.

Stop the nagging.  Stop the complaining.  Stop noticing what he doesn’t do or see.

So, what if it takes me an extra twenty minutes a day to clean up a little more after him?  What’s twenty minutes?  Or, what if I just resolve that his laptop on the kitchen counter is okay?  And, his unpacked bag can wait? 

What if?

My marriage will be better, because, I’m not selling out to small foxes.  And, that sweet miss for him when he is gone will be even sweeter when he returns home. 

I will be happier.  He will be happier.  And, our love will stay sweeter. 

I’m not exactly sure how this pattern of behavior began for me.  But, I am definitely sure that it needed to end.  Because, I am blessed.  And, I LOVE that man.

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Filed under Love, Marriage

When Nagging Doesn’t Work…And, It Never Does.

Yesterday, my good friend, Cindy Beall, posted “Shut Up And Pray” revealing the power of praying for your spouse…..versus the not so easily received nagging by your spouse.  It was good stuff.

There are times when issues need to be discussed.  And, a long time ago, I posted “Conversations That Work,” a few lessons I’ve learned in how to communicate with my spouse. 

But, not all issues really need to be confronted.  Because, sometimes, those issues are our issues….not theirs.  So, when we address “our stuff” with our spouse, it will usually come out in the form of nagging.  I don’t always zip it, lock it, and put it in my pocket like I should.  But, I really try. 

One evening, a couple of weeks ago, I was just frustrated with Kris.  (He doesn’t even know it….except, now he does, IF HE READS MY BLOG TODAY.  Not bitter.)  I made the very difficult decision of not saying a word.  I went to bed….

AND, I PRAYED FOR HIM.

I didn’t even pray, “Lord, show him he needs to do this or that.”  Instead, I prayed blessings over his life.  I prayed that God would bless him in everything he does and touches.  That He would give him peace wherever there is no peace.  That any stress in his life that wasn’t from God, He would gently remove from his life.

Blessings.  That’s what I prayed.

The next morning, I woke up to a different man.  Or, perhaps, I woke up to a different me?  I had a brand new perspective and an even greater love for Kris. 

Our words are powerful.  Our prayers make a difference in BOTH of our lives. 

Bless your husband by praying for him.  It works much better than nagging.  I promise.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.  Proverbs 31:12

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Filed under Marriage, prayer, Relationships