Tag Archives: offenses

December 11, 2013 · 8:14 am

Overlooking Offenses.

Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. (Proverbs 19:11 NLT)

 

Sometimes, we think that if we overlook a wrong, then we won't be validated or defended. Remember, Jesus was wronged. Yet, He went it the cross like a lamb led to slaughter, and he opened not His mouth. We are never more like Jesus when we overlook an offense. And, we earn respect when we do.

 

I don't always keep my mouth shut about an offense. I don't think, if we are honest, any of us do. However, I have learned one thing about choosing to “vent” an offense. To make sure the offense is redeemed in that vent. In other words, don't share an offense without the intent of it leading to the redemption of it. In doing so, I am careful who I share, or vent, offenses to. I always know that if share an offense with my father, his response will not be, “I can't believe that person” or “I would be done with that person.” He first acknowledges my hurt and says he's sorry. But, then he quickly helps me see the hurt the offender is speaking from and also makes me look within myself at what may be drawing it out of that person. Then, I am able to release forgiveness, and overlook the offense moving forward. And so, it is redeemed.

 

One of the greatest examples of overlooking an offense is when King David traveled to Bahurim, and Shimei, a member of Saul's family came out to curse him. Shimei threw gravel at David and cursed him and accused him of stealing Saul's throne. David's officer, Abishai, couldn't take it and said, “Let me go over and cut off his head!” But, David responded, “Leave him alone and let him curse, for the Lord has told him to do it. And perhaps the Lord will see that I am being wronged and will bless me because of these curses today.”

 

Later in scripture, Shimei begs for mercy. But, to Abishai, this was no small thing. No small offense. To throw gravel at a king and curse the Lord's anointed was a huge deal. Most of us would have agreed with Abishai's response and wanted Shimei punished. But, David shocks his men seeking justice and says “what do I have in common with you?” In other words, how are we even alike? You seek vengeance, and I seek mercy? Ouch. And, then, he says, “Do I not know I am king over Israel?”

 

Ahhhh. The key to David overlooking an offense. He KNEW who he was. His security was built in knowing who he was. Not in other's opinions of him.

 

Remember who you are when you are offended. You are a child of the King. You are OF God. Let this truth go deep within you, so you can overlook wrongs. And, when you must vent, make sure redemption is the end result.

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February 14, 2011 · 5:00 am

My Funny Valentine.

Me:  Kris, you never complain about anything.

Kris:  It’s because I have a closer walk with God.

Not only is my sweet husband a contented non-complainer, he’s also very funny.  He knew he would make me laugh with his explanation of why he doesn’t complain.  Kris has an incredible ability to not let things really get to him.  He also has quite the propensity to make me laugh every day we are together. 

But, it’s his capacity to let things go….

To let hurts go.  To overlook people’s faults.  To forgive without hesitation….

It’s one of the things I love about him most. 

How often we think we cannot get over a hurt or an offense.  We internalize and dwell on them.  We want vengeance.  We want that person to know exactly how we feel.  Exactly how they’ve hurt us.  We want to hold them accountable for their words and actions. 

But, that’s just not God’s way. 

God’s way is to think of others as better than ourselves – Philippians 2:3.

God’s way is to be kind to one another and tenderhearted, forgiving them as quickly and fully as God forgave us – Ephesians 4:32.

God’s way is to never avenge ourselves – Romans 12:19.

God’s way is to love our enemies – Matthew 5:44.

God’s way is unconventional.  His way was to go to a cross and never open His mouth even to defend Himself.  His way was to take communion on the same night he was betrayed. 

The. Same. Night.

Now, Kris Takle is no saint, I tell ya.  And, he might confuse a scripture or ten, albeit, sometimes purposefully, because he knows it’ll make me laugh.  But, he gets that God’s way stuff on letting things go pretty dadgum good. 

Kris, thank you for being such an incredible example of God’s love.  You continue to inspire and push me to do things God’s way while still giving me room to grow.  I might be able to quote 1 Corinthians 13 in my sleep, but, you walk it out with such greater ease. 

You’re a good man.  And, a really fun Valentine. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all.  Now, go love on somebody.

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September 16, 2009 · 6:00 am

I Was Wrong.

There are times I have to ask one of my children to forgive me.  It’s one of the most important things I can do as their mother.  Like the other day when Anna cut open a bag of dish candy.  In the middle of the bag.  Where there is no hope for closing it without candy spilling out everywhere.  I was upset.  My response was unnecessarily harsh.  And, my usually tough little girl ran to her room in tears.

I was wrong.

I entered her bedroom and held her.  I asked her to forgive me and told her she was the best daughter in the whole wide world.

Then, I told her I was wrong to respond the way I did.

She needed to hear me acknowledge my behavior was wrong as much as she needed to hear me say I’m sorry.

Honestly, I don’t find it difficult admitting my weakness to my children.  I don’t want them to struggle doing the same.   I want them to find it easy to go their heavenly Father and lay down their weaknesses at His feet, so He can show Himself strong in their lives.

Motherhood is not foolproof.  Neither is life.  When we mess up, it’s essential to acknowledge it and make a mends with the person we hurt.  Even if it is your four year old little girl.

It’s not the first time I’ve had to say I was wrong.  And, it’s certain it won’t be my last. 

I’m a believer in telling our children we are wrong when we are, indeed, wrong.  As a matter of fact, I think it’s essential in raising children with a healthy understanding of humility and forgiveness.

Do you struggle saying “I was wrong” to your children?

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