Tag Archives: Relationships

July 16, 2008 · 6:00 am

Good lessons and reminders from a conversation with John Henry.

·         When you are talking with someone, make eye contact.  Hold it.

·         Ask the other person questions about his/her self.  For example, I asked John Henry, “What are some things that make you scared or nervous about starting Kindergarten?”

·         Listen when another person is talking. 

·         Sometimes, it’s necessary to forget about my “to-do” lists, e-mails that await my response, blogs to write, and just BE with my son.

·         When a conversation shifts gears from the first day of school to which dinosaurs ate meat, go with it. 

·         The seemingly meaningless conversations mean something – TIME.

·         Invest into other people’s lives.

·         Just because you’re a good-looking kid doesn’t mean you don’t have insecurities.  (I am obviously biased, but have you seen my son?  Those eyes?  That complexion?)

·         As human beings, we need pure, unadulterated physical touch with others.

·         Smile at other people.  You don’t know what kind of day they are having.  (John Henry is concerned that when he smiles to his new friends, they may not smile back.)

·         The only thing better than a hug and a kiss goodnight are two hugs and two kisses.

·         And finally, be glad that a snapping turtle doesn’t have a long neck else it might turn around and snap your hand while picking him up.  (And, that was John Henry’s final thought.)

And, then we said “I love you” and “Goodnight.”

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June 23, 2008 · 7:00 am

Sweet Interruptions


So, I was in the kitchen the other day.  No, I wasn’t whipping up one of my incredibly famous meals from scratch.  My wonderfully pink Dell laptop rests on my kitchen counter, and I was all consumed.  I do understand that it’s cool to go Mac, but Dell and I have had a successful relationship for many years now.  He has been faithful and true – and my software works as it should on him.  To toss him aside for a trendier model just seems unkind.

So, I was in the kitchen. 

I hear John Henry calling from the family room, “Mom, would you come in here with me, so I know where you are?”

I saved my draft and met his request.

A couple of days later, it was pretty much the same scenario.

“Mom, would you come in here, so I can see you?”

“Yes, son.”   And, so I did.

I wonder how often God calls us to come be with Him, and we are too frenzied with other things.  I can assure you it happens all the time with yours truly.  Don’t get me wrong.  I dust off my Bible at times and read it the old-fashioned way.  I do, however, like the accessibility of reading the Bible online – on my wonderfully pink Dell, no less.  I’m always swift to pray for my family and others.  I usually serve when there is a need.

But, I often don’t take the time to slow down – take my eyes off of the consumptions of the day – and just be with Him.  No appealing.  Just a little girl enjoying time with her Father – and a Father enjoying His little girl.

I think our Heavenly Father call us often.  “Hey, Dusty, would you come in here with me, so I can see you?”

Gotta run.

“Coming John Henry!”

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June 13, 2008 · 7:00 am

I see Jesus in your eyes and it makes me love Him.


It’s almost Father’s Day.  About a month ago, dad began throwing hints as to the gift he’d like to receive.  It wasn’t this blog, but I’m sure he’ll be just as happy.  Ahem.

Given the fact that many fathers don’t quite comprehend the role they should play in their daughter’s life, I’d say my dad played it quite well.

He was always there to teach me new things – in spite of the scary mustache.  (Here, his resemblance to some of those parading motorcyclists in Brinkley, Arkansas is uncanny.)

I’d like to think that I am plugging my nose here and not picking it.  You can draw your own conclusion.

He was always there to snuggle.  I can only hope I didn’t always look this gooberish.  But, I have a feeling I probably did.

When other dads were afraid to hold their daughters, he never hesitated. 

Although I wasn’t surrounded by siblings to occupy my playtime, dad was always sure to become a kid himself.  From board games to hide and seek – from the Intelevision game system to making up our own songs – he was right there.  This wasn’t much of a sacrifice for him.  After all, he is still a kid at heart.

Here is proof.  A few Christmases ago, dad’s wish list consisted of electronic battleship and a lava lamp.  I’m not even making this up.

Back when Garth Brooks was on fire, dad must have been his biggest fan.  I’ll never forget the spontaneous trip we took to Dallas to see Garth in concert.  Dad managed to get tickets 2 days before the concert.  Since mom was a flight attendant back then, we were able to hop on a flight to the Lone Star state.  Here we are just before we left.  You can see our tickets displaying proudly in dad’s shirt pocket.

Kicking it back old school in that one.  The dinosaur resting on top of dad’s armoire was his, not mine. 

He held me up when I had my heart broken.  And he smiled when he danced with me at wedding #2.

He has always been there – for every triumph – for every heartbreak. 

My faith is the core of my very existence, and He imparted Christ to me.

I once heard that how we perceive our heavenly father is directly affected by how we perceive our earthly one.  If that is the case, then I know this:

·         My heavenly father is always willing to bestow grace and mercy whenever I need it.

·         My heavenly father cares about the little things.  And, one day we will realize that the little things were the big things.

·         My heavenly father is not an angry father but one who is always quick to forgive.

·         My heavenly father loves people unconditionally.

·         My heavenly father handles his children with the gentlest of hands.

·         My heavenly father must be very proud of my earthly father.

So, to my dear, precious dad…

Thank you for all the little moments, because they were really the big moments.

Thank you for always enduring life’s ups and downs.  You’ve taught me that God blesses perseverance.

Thank you for being the Ga-Ga that you are.

Thank you for being the father that you are.

And, above all else, thank you for always letting God be so intertwined within you.  Because, when I see you, I see Him.

I love you, Dad.

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May 14, 2008 · 7:00 am

Conversations that work.


We all know that communication is key in relationships.  However, how we communicate is just as important as the communication itself.  Kris and I don’t get it right all the time, but I’d say that we usually do okay. 

I’ve learned a few things that work and a few that don’t.  Such as….

·      Addressing an issue in the form of an attack.  For example:   I try to avoid comments that begin with “You never” or “You always”.  This, more times than not, forces Kris to be defensive.  He shouldn’t have to “defend” himself unless I catch him eating the last of my cereal before I’ve had my bowl.

 

·      Addressing something that bothers you while that something is happening.  I will usually wait until we are alone and time has lapsed before I address an issue.  I do this for 2 reasons:  1) I may feel differently about it later, thus saving Kris from any unnecessary tough conversation and 2) if I still feel a need to address the issue, he is less likely to take offense and receive what I have to say, because he is far removed from the situation.  This rule is null and void if said offender leaves the toilet seat up or changes the toilet paper roll by simply placing the new one on top of the old one.  This calls for immediate dialogue.

 

·      And, finally, communication sometimes simply involves telling Kris something I love about him, thanking him for something he does, or praising him for his accomplishments.  It is important that he knows that I appreciate him and that I believe in him.  For example, he is an excellent pilot, and I tell him all the time.  Actually, I tell him that when I see his hand pushing that throttle forward, I kind of melt inside.  For real.

 

What have you found that works or doesn’t work?

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