That’s Not Fair!

There is no book or instruction manual that tells you how to handle every parenting quandary.  My lack of wisdom in dealing with various situations became even more evident last night.  I allowed John Henry and Anna to pick ONE movie to watch in their room together.  Of course, they picked two different movies.  And, of course, I thought out loud, “Hmmm. How can we handle this?”  John Henry suggested they pick a number between one and ten. 


They did.  He won.  She wailed.

It wasn’t very fair for Anna even if she would get her pick next time.  I could have told her the first shall be last, and the last shall be first, but I felt certain that wouldn’t have sped her recovery.  It was a hard lesson in life for a four year old.  A lesson we all learn if we live long enough.

Life is not fair.

It’s not fair that I’m only 5’3”.  It’s not fair that I have a digestive disease. 

It’s not fair that my very good friend, Josh, died at 27.  It’s not fair that there are children in India begging for food.  It’s not fair that a five year old little girl has a brain tumor. 

So many things in life aren’t fair.

But, if God was fair, we would all die and pay a price for our sins.  One of my favorite Cindy Beall lines on “God isn’t fair” is: “I’m glad He’s not.  I need His mercy.”  The promise of eternal life isn’t about God being fair.  It’s about His incomprehensible love and mercy.

Life may seem unfair sometimes.  But, God is full of mercy.  He IS mercy.  He IS just.  And, He is faithful to make all things work together for the good.

This, I know well.

As for Anna….well, her tender, sweet big brother parted her tears, and said, “Anna, we can watch your movie.”

Was that fair for John Henry?  Well, maybe he does have a grasp on the first shall be last truth.  Or, just maybe, he was being merciful to his little sister. 

Either way, I am so humbled to be that young man’s mother.


Filed under God Stuff, life, Motherhood, parenting

7 responses to “That’s Not Fair!

  1. Amanda Morgan

    I’ll say it again, I love your blog. You bless me daily. Watching God move in your lives, especially your children’s lives, brings me such joy. It also emphasizes what we are missing in our own lives. We are trying to find a church to call home and our 7yo needs and wants a church to attend on a regular basis. He’s going through “growing pains” and some of his character traits are less than desirable as are Jeff and I’s. Praying that God will lead us in so many ways: to a good church, raising our kids to be godly people, for Jeff and I to be Christ-like examples and for physical healing. I really look up to you and Kris and I love hearing about your daily laughs and mishaps. You bless me. Keep the good stuff coming! Love ya!

  2. This truth is more powerful than we know…got this a longggg time ago…didn’t like it but got it.. and trying to be a Godly example, I don’t do the fair thing in my parenting or my life, just ask Lance and Bonnie…but I am merciful and love what Cindy said…JH has such a sweet heart

  3. Wendy Verdon

    That is a hard lesson to teach your child. I am still telling Kelci (7) that almost daily that life isn’t fair. I like the way you handled it and JH is such a sweetie. I have a friend that is going through a really tough time right now as her little boy has some serious health issues. I am going to request that she read your blog. I will say it again, you are such an inspiration to all of us! Thanks Dusty.

  4. Des

    As Steve Arterburn says; Fair is where pigs win ribbons.

  5. Brenda

    No, Life is not fair. I have taught my children that since they were toddlers. And it doesn’t always end like a fairytale, and they all lived happily ever after. But you will need to watch so JH doesn’t give in everytime. I know from experience that when you have a tender heart and want to help others and make everybody happy, after a while you get used and everybody just expects you to do stuff and takes it all for granted. It is a tough situation as a parent to keep one from taking and the other giving all the time. JH has such a sweet spirit and is a giver and God will use him for great things in life even in Annaville! LOL! I think next time Anna will probably remember what JH did and she will be the giver!

  6. Peggy

    I’m just getting around to this: Wow! that JH is a sensitive boy. God will reward him as will you. I hope Anna does get it. I think she will, but may need a little reminding next time that JH should have his way.
    You are a blessing. As said above, I want to share your weblink w/ someone that I think will be blessed.

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