Tag Archives: commitment

The Wonder of 40.

mom - dad recent wp

These two lovebirds celebrate 40 years of marriage today.  I can honestly say, their marriage is better at year 40 than it’s ever been.  Yesterday, Dad asked Mom to accompany him on the EWC stage and share a few of the reasons they’ve survived 40….and each other.  While they both acknowledged their journey hasn’t been without failures, their longevity of marriage is the result of two people who simply continue to make it better.  I thought I’d share what they say has worked for them.

1) Always go back to your first love.

“But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first!”
Revelation 2:4

Whatever you did to win his heart in the beginning, keep doing it.

2) Treat your spouse with the same respect you treat others.

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.  32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.  Ephesians 4:31-32

We tend to choose our words with other people a little more carefully.  We make allowances for their faults more easily.  And, we usually show respect to others more intentionally.  Be just as intentional with your spouse.

3) Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!  Song of Songs 2:15

Most marriages survive and recover from the big stuff.  It’s the small, trivial things that can really mess it up.  You can’t accept what you continue to complain about.  You’re going to have to accept certain things that will probably never change.  Choose your battles.  Don’t sweat things that won’t matter tomorrow.

4) Compliment his or her strengths.

So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.  Romans 14:19

Be intentional about praising one another’s strengths.  And, don’t ever bring up his or her weaknesses.  Focus on the good stuff.  Whatever you focus on, you give energy to.  Period.

5) Don’t take your marriage for granted. 

“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.  Remind me that my days are numbered – how fleeting my life is. 5 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.”   Psalm 39:4-5 4

Set up guardrails to protect your marriage.  Be mindful that you can fall any minute.  Trust your spouse’s intuition and discernment.  Dad quoted Henry Ford’s advice on a successful marriage (who likened it to his successful business):  “Just the same as in the automobile business, stick to one model.”

6) Don’t keep a record of wrongs.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Never, ever bring up past failures or disappointments.  Once it’s forgiven, leave it in the past.

7) Don’t ever give up.

Mom said, “There is no Plan B.”  Don’t make giving up an option.  There is always hope for a better marriage.  Always.

For me, I’m grateful for such an example to look up to.  They both continue to inspire me.  They have imparted good stuff to me that I can apply to my own marriage.

I just hope that after 40 years of marriage, I look as good as they do.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.  I love you both.  And, I’m so glad y’all got married.  Obviously.

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Filed under Love, Marriage, Relationships

I’m Hoping There Were No Other Bridesmaid Dresses Available.

Thirty-seven years ago today, my parents said I do……

And, subsequently, forced their wedding party to wear large bow ties and red dresses with white lace that only the Amish could love.  We’ll just let the awesome, red veil accessories speak for themselves. 

Thirty-seven years is a very long time, especially by today’s standards.  Of course, I don’t know every detail of their marriage.  But, I do know it has not been without struggle.  Nor, has it been without a relentless commitment to working through it all. 

Even years into their journey, they saw things in their marriage that needed to be changed.  And, they did what they had to do to not just fix it – but make it brand new.

I love their unyielding commitment to Christ.

To each other.

To us.

To the body of Christ.

And, I especially love the fact that they still never say goodbye to one another on a simple phone call without first saying, “I love you.”

I love those two. 

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.


Filed under Love, Marriage

That’s Not What I Signed Up For.

Kris - Dusty

That is not a statement you’ll hear me make regarding my marriage.  You won’t hear me say, “I didn’t sign up for my husband to be gone 5 days a month or 20 days a month.”  “I didn’t sign up for my husband to play golf every week.”  “I didn’t sign up to live hundreds of miles from my family.”

I have heard friends tell me they “didn’t sign up” for whatever changes have occurred in their lives.  Whether it’s a spouse’s new job or simply a new routine. 

I signed up to be married Kris Takle.  Not what he does or doesn’t do.

I signed up for him.  Period.

In the meantime, life happens.  Change is usually inevitable.  Tomorrow may look different from today.  We, as partners in love and marriage, have to adjust.

Because, we are a team.

He needs my support just like I need his. 

Loving Kris Takle.  That’s what I signed up for.

My lover is mine, and I am his.  Song of Solomon 2:16


Filed under Love, Marriage

Love. It’s A Battlefield.

John Henry stayed home from school yesterday to recuperate from a cold.  Note:  Guitar Hero does wonders for a six year old under the weather.  Or when you’re simply “not on top of the weather” as I’ve heard my husband say.  Pardon him.  He tends to get American clichés a little confused with….with, I don’t know what. 


I walked Anna to the library yesterday morning.  It’s her initial destination before walking to her class.  I stopped by John Henry’s class to inform his teacher he would not be in attendance.  On my way out, I heard one, lone, loud voice belting out, “Why does love always feel like a battlefield!  A battlefield!  A battlefield!” 

I don’t think it comes as a surprise to any of you it was Anna.  None of her classmates joined her anthem.  I scurried straight up to her and told her she should pipe down in the school hallways.  Then, I was relieved I corrected her “butterfield” to “battlefield” only a couple of days prior to her hallway debut.

Long before Jordin Sparks started tearing up the airwaves with her recent hit, Pat Benatar proclaimed “love is a battlefield.”  I have single girlfriends who will say “Amen” to that sentiment.  And, knowing some of their experiences, I tend to agree.  But, once you’re married?

Love can still feel like a battlefield.  It’s just a different battle.  It’s not a battle between husband and wife.  It’s a battle to maintain your marriage.  One in two marriages will end in divorce.  So, you unquestionably have to fight to keep the love alive and the commitment strong.  Even in scriptures Paul proclaims if you marry, you’ll have trouble. 

So, to my married readers, I say FIGHT for your marriage. 




So, when you’re old, gray, going to bed by 8, and excited for the new Dancing With the Stars season(or, perhaps, that’s just Big Mama), you’ll turn and look at your spouse and be glad you did.

And, for those of you thinking, “It’s too late for me”:  Never give up. 

Coming from a girl on a second go ‘round.


Filed under Love, Marriage, Relationships