Tag Archives: grief

My Pre-Blogging Life: Part Two

I continued to read more of my old journal last night.  I read the frustrations of a fifteen and sixteen year old girl wanting to date one Bryan Landreth.  We’ll save that for a completely different post.  I’m just thankful I’m not sixteen any more.  Can I get an amen? 

I read an entry written in 1998 about loss.  About losing my Grandfather five months after he danced at my wedding.  About losing a best friend to a rare disease only one month after my Grandfather’s passing…….

About how we learned so terribly young to not only tell those dear to us we love them….

but why we love them.

I not only drew closer to friends and family during this time of loss.  I grew closer to my Creator.  I wrote in that July 9, 1998 journal entry:

“God has really been stirring in me a greater need for intimacy with Him.”

We already know that when we draw close to Him, He draws close to us.  Or, perhaps, He draws close to us waiting on us to draw close to Him.  Either way, when we do, we learn this:

journal entry july 98 wp

“The greatest revelation one can obtain is the knowledge that God loves them very much.”

Ya know, even eleven years later, I still believe this to be true.

God loves us so, so very much.  He loves us no matter what we do or don’t do.  His love is unchanging.  And, when we really get the revelation of how much He loves us, we can walk knowing we are forgiven.  We are free.  And, we belong to Him.


Filed under God Stuff, life, Love, Spiritual Journey

Across the Atlantic – Part Two

“The days after were a blur,” Andrew recalls.  He spent the next several days communicating with the police on the accident.  Next, making plans for his family’s funeral became his main focus.  He wanted it to be perfect and everything they would have wanted.  He said, “It made me feel I was in control of something, because everything else was out of my control.”

Eight of his friends helped Andrew organize, rotated on staying with him – even for his 3:00AM daily walks.   While making preparations for the funeral, one of his friends visited the local flower shop.  When the florist inquired on what he wanted, his response was, “I don’t know.  I am a man.  But, I want it like Elton John.  I want (insert your own explicative here) flowers everywhere!”

Andrew still laughs about that.  He said during that time, he had never cried more.  But, there were also times, he had never laughed as much.  I believe that laughter is a part of God’s grace.  It helps you push through to the next day – and sometimes, just to the next hour.

The day of the funeral came, and Andrew said, “It was perfect.”  Stacey, Joshua, and Georgia were all three buried together in the same casket – a request Andrew had to get special permission for.  He decided it would be best if he spoke at their funeral.  “I wanted to let people know to not take anything for granted.”

“The detail that was achieved was breathtaking.  When the casket was lowered, I threw rose petals onto the casket, as I did not want the sound of dirt hitting it.  Then, three doves were released at the same time.”

Is it just me?  Or, are you sitting back right now in your comfy chair trying to soak all of this in?  Most of us probably don’t want to go there in our minds.  It’s just too much.  And, there is so much, still, that I take for granted.

You can only imagine the added grief the holidays brought for Andrew.  And, when I think about how one manages to get out of bed the next day, I cannot help but think of the grace of God. 

How often we say, “I can’t imagine….”  And, we can’t.  But, I do know that God gives His grace to us as we need it.  A grief-stricken father has been given more grace than another.  That’s why scripture says, “His grace is sufficient.”  A mother who loses her child has a different measure of grace than a mother who has never experienced such loss.  He gives us the measure of grace we need – as we need it. 

Pictured below are Stacey, Joshua & Georgia Gitsham.


To be continued…


Filed under disappointment, life, Love