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Why Does 17 Seem So Much Older?

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Today, my firstborn is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD, AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE THAT I AM THE MOTHER OF A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD. LIKE HOW DID THIS HAPPEN SO FAST? But, here I sit typing his birthday blog the night before his birthday ever so grateful for every single day of these past 17 years. I can remember when he was little and the sweetest, kindest little boy you have ever seen.

jh young 17

People, while well-meaning (I guess), would say, “Just wait until he’s a teenager!” I decided then to never buy into that gloom and doom prediction of the teenage years being hellacious. Buying into that would have been a terrible investment and waste of dread. Because, this teenager has become one of my greatest supporters, encouragers, do anything for me (and you) sons, and it just always blows my mind and makes me so proud.

John Henry, you are one of my very best friends. I love laughing with you. And, you know I love it when I make YOU laugh. I love talking to you, and I promise I try to really understand everything you say about cars. I do not, however, try to understand everything you say about math and weird things like that. But, it’s cool you like it.  Spending time with you is one of my greatest life treasures. And, I LOVE that you love spending time with us. I love that you always want to know what we are doing, because you want to be doing it with us. It’s okay that you have FOMO. It alway makes me laugh. I love that my friends are your friends. And, that you can hang out with and enjoy anyone of any age.

I love what kind of friend you are to people. Good grief, you are a good one and someone your friends can always depend on.

John, you can pursue anything in life you set your mind to. You can achieve anything you desire to achieve. I believe in you, and I am so proud of your commitment to success. BUT, your greatest success is your commitment to be a good human. A good friend. Just a good, good man. I don’t care what you set out to DO in life. My greatest joy is just watching you BE. I love who you are and what you add to every space and every life.

You add peace to our home.

You add calm to situations that should be stressful.

You add dignity to every room you enter.

You add love to conversations that tear others down.

You add forgiveness to unmet expectations.

You add humor to unexpected moments.

You add the best music to every dance party….whether in our kitchen or on the deck.

You always add everything good to every situation, every room, and every person simply by being there. Your presence carries a weight that is so beautiful and so honest and real. And, because of that, you will find favor all of your days. I really believe that.

Thank you for always looking out for your sister. Even when she has no clue that’s what you are doing.

Jh anna - 17

Thank you for taking time with your little brother. One day, he will be your best friend.

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Thank you for honoring us the way you do.

Keep being you. Keep doing you. Because, this world needs you. It needs your calm. It needs your humor. It needs your honesty. It needs your love. I pray you get back so much more than you give out. Because, you deserve it, bud.

May today be filled with all of your favorite things: good food, good conversation, and a little Sinatra. And, may you see all of the coolest cars on the road today.

I love you, John Henry Landreth. I couldn’t ask for a better son or a better friend.

Love,

Mom

JH - me 17

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Filed under Kid Stuff, making an impact, Motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized

I’m Going Back To School!

I mean, I’m not going to be driving to a campus. But, I have enrolled in an online school to become a certified life coach! The initial certification will be finished before the year’s end. But, I will take additional classes next year that are more specific to the kind of topics and issues in coaching I want to zoom in on. When I initially shared this with my dad, he responded, “I don’t think you need to go to school for this. You are already doing this, and your life speaks loudly enough to validate being a life coach.” SUPER sweet thing for dad to say. But, there is SO much I don’t know as it pertains to ethics in coaching, and there is ALWAYS room for growth and learning. And, it’s something I wanted to my children to watch me do.

When I told my kids I was going back to school, their response was the freaking best. They have been so excited for me and SO supportive. John Henry immediately began thinking of a name for my life coaching endeavor. I’ll share that name at another time. When I told Anna, she responded, “Mom. YES! So much yes! And, I feel like this is going to put you in a position to write more, to minister more….to write your book!” Y’all…..their love and support and belief in me have meant everything. EVERYTHING.

Jett, however, was all like, “WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF? HOW OLD ARE YOU?” God love that boy.

Everyone I have shared this with has been so encouraging. Most have said, “You already do this….” And, while that’s true on one level, there is always more. My dad has always said, “The more you do, the more you CAN do.” It’s so true in life. Kind of like when you lay around all day and are SO tired from doing nothing that you don’t want to do anything? But when you have one million things on your list of things to do, adding one more seems like no big deal. Life is funny that way. But, I feel like I’m adding something important to my to do list. I feel like this is the right thing to do and pursue. Actually, I know it is.

A couple of months ago, I was driving to church and heard in my spirit, “Do the little things. Stop trying to do one HUGE thing.” There are a lot of little things we do and can do that can impact not only our lives, but the lives of the people around us. While this new journey is a big thing, it will be the little things that come out of it that will be what really makes a difference. And I’m pretty excited about it.

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This pic is me doing something I didn’t initially want to do, because the journey there was going to be long and bumpy…..and, I’m not exactly an outdoorsy kind of girl. But I did it and LOVED it, and I have so many ridiculous selfies to prove it. So, here’s to a journey that might be long and get bumpy, but I know will be so worth it!

Also, wondering if this means I get to go back to school shopping?

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Filed under Chasing Dreams, life, Life Experiences, making an impact, Spiritual Journey, Uncategorized

Is It My Perspective Or Is It Just Unhealthy?

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After I wrote and posted I Signed Up For This, I received a lot of positive responses. I think so many of you related to marrying a person and not a “plan.” But, I did have one response that made me want to follow up with another post about when do you walk away? My friend who talked to me about this wasn’t negative about my original post. He was just trying to digest and break down what it means and if there is ever a time to say, I did NOT sign up for this.

I love the questions he is asking himself about the relationship he is in. He said, “I don’t know if I’m creating the toxicity by the way I’m thinking about the situation or is the situation itself causing me to be or feel like I’m in a toxic relationship.” What a deeply mature and significant question to ask!

Our discussion has led me to want to clarify some things with my readers. If you are in a toxic or unhealthy relationship, and there are no means by which it’s going to get better, I would never tell someone to stay in it. When I say, “I signed up for this,” I’m saying I signed up to be flexible, to embrace change, to evolve, to be a team player. I did NOT sign up for a situation that is unsafe, that is abusive, that is unhealthy, or that is toxic. No ma’am. No sir.

The same goes for all relationships. I’ve recently had discussions with some close friends about boundaries and friendships. Honestly, the word “boundaries” bothers me more than it doesn’t. I know I should love that word. It’s a good word, after all. I just think we have abused it and set boundaries in relationships we should be fighting for. BUT, there are times where boundaries in relationships are vital to protect your heart, soul, and mind. I’ve always loved the truth that Jesus made EVERYONE feel special, and he loved and encouraged everyone. But, he didn’t let everyone close to him. He protected the energy and the space in which he lived his life. We have to protect our energy and our space and our hearts as well.

There have been times I’ve set boundaries in relationships, and it was necessary and needed. I have also set boundaries in relationships that I should have been fighting for instead. There are relationships worth fighting for, friends! This bears the question of my wise friend: Am I creating the toxicity by the way I’m thinking about the situation or is the situation itself causing me to be or feel like I’m in a toxic relationship? Only you can answer that question.

Tomorrow, I’m going to share with you a new adventure I begin next week! Also, it feels good (and like home) to be writing again. Thank you for reading, for sharing, for commenting, for asking, for questioning….for even disagreeing. It’s how we grow and how we connect. Have a great Thursday, friends.

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Filed under Relationships, Uncategorized, Writing

I Signed Up For This.

wedding day

Kris and I recently celebrated 16 years of marriage. So much has changed over these past 16 years. But, one thing that hasn’t changed is our commitment to “We signed up for this.” I’ve probably written a similar post before, because, it’s been something I want to tell married couples often. Every once in a while, I hear a spouse say, “I didn’t sign up for this” when something changes in their marriage. I always want to say, “YES, YOU DID.” When Kris and I first married, we were living in Oklahoma. He’s a pilot, so his schedule was never the same. There were seasons where he was gone every weekend flying to an OU game or flying clients to Turks and Caicos. (Bless his heart.) Then, there was a time where he flew charter, and he would be gone 7 days and then home 7. He later went to work for the airlines and would be gone A LOT. Never did I say as life changed or his schedule changed, “I didn’t sign up for this.” Even when it was hard.

The reality is, life changes. Constantly. Kris isn’t the same man I married. I’m not the same woman he married. I’m glad. He’s glad. Because, we signed up to grow together, to change together, to move together.

We signed up to parent children together. To sometimes have different views on how to handle discipline or whether to say yes or no. We signed up to grow and evolve together as parents.

We signed up to change careers together. To not allow what becomes comfortable and familiar to be what we cling to.

We signed up to move together. Whether we are in Oklahoma, Georgia, or the next place, home is with each other.

We signed up for wrenches being thrown into our plans.

We signed up for leaning into our difficult seasons and allowing Spirit to refine us through them.

We signed up for the easy and good seasons and allowing our souls to be refreshed through them.

We signed up for each other. Not a certain job. Not a certain schedule. Not a certain place. Not a certain season. Not a certain plan.

And, the real kicker: not a certain person.

Because, Kris isn’t the same person he used to be. And, neither am I.

I signed up for him. The ever-changing, ever-growing, ever-evolving, Kris Takle.

He signed up for me.

We’re both pretty glad we did.

Don’t get so hell-bent on things staying the same. Be flexible. Don’t allow a certain thing to become master of your life. Don’t cling to things that can fade away so easily: a space, a place, a plan. Cling to love. Knowing love changes and grows….but it’s still love. Love is what you signed up for. And, it’s always expanding. So, let love do what love does. Adjust when you need to adjust. And, try your best to enjoy the ride along the way by leaning into it and embracing it. You’ll be glad you did, too.

marriage blog

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Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.

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We’ve been in a series called “Battles” at church. It has really had me thinking about battles I have fought that should have never been a battle at all. And, fighting those battles have led to some of my biggest hurts (usually me hurting someone) which ended up being something I regretted. As a matter of fact, the majority of my regrets in life are making a bigger deal out of something than I should have….turning a minor issue into a major one. Making the insignificant significant.

We should always know better. Most, if not all, of us have experienced really hard things that were significant. Something that puts life into perspective where we see what truly matters in life. Back in April when both of my oldest ended up in the hospital with concussions, life dramatically slowed down. Nothing else mattered during that season but making sure my children were okay. Perspective was clear and right. Yet, it’s so easy to forget once that season passes. And, suddenly we are back to letting little things become big things.

That little thing your child failed to do or did becomes a big thing. And, their little souls suffer from our lack of perspective.

That little inconvenience a friend caused becomes a big inconvenience. And, her heart is hurt from our lack of perspective.

That little oversight from your spouse becomes a big oversight. And, he is stripped down and goes to sleep feeling like he let you down from our lack of perspective.

Every time we make that little thing big, someone gets hurt. A relationship suffers. And, it’s never, ever worth it.

Ever.

You’ll read this today and maybe think to yourself, “Keep the main thing the main thing.” And, perhaps, you will today. Maybe even tomorrow. But time will pass, and you’ll forget. I’ll forget. Some little thing will happen and we will lose perspective and blow it out of proportion. Someone will get hurt, and we will regret it. We will struggle to take back those words. But, maybe if we can all start being accountable to one another by reminding each other to keep the main thing the main thing, we will stop fighting battles that should never be.

Souls will stay on fire with life.

Hearts will stay mended.

Relationships will stay in tact.

Because, we won’t make insignificant things significant. And, we won’t let significant things become insignificant. Because, what’s significant…..what really matters…..are the people in your life.

They are the main thing.

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Filed under Friendship, life, Marriage, parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized

Happy 9th Birthday, Jett Man!

jett cover

He told me earlier this week he wants to be a scientist and a singer when he grows up. “You know what the name of my band is going to be? The Jett Takle Band. Charlie has the Charlie Daniels Band. There’s the Zac Brown Band. Why not the Jett Takle Band? Why not?’

Why not? I think most of the time we ask ourselves why. And, why certainly matters. But sometimes, I think we get more out of life when we ask, “Why not?” Like why not wear a Spider-Man costume to church on a Wednesday night?

jett spiderman

Sometimes, we won’t know the why until we do the thing. Until we step out into the unknown. Until we try something new or until we do it simply because life is meant to be experienced in every possible way.

That is what Jett teaches all of us. To get all the goody out of life. To never stop learning and growing and being amazed at everything around us. That we are surrounded by creatures where each one is unique….and, he certainly wants to tell you EVERY SINGLE thing about them. Why not have a 20 minute discussion on every type of penguin and where they live? Why not learn about and talk about this amazing planet we wake up on every single day?

Why not spend an hour learning to draw dragons and monsters? Not because we want to be an artist. But, because, we want to know what it feels like to create something?

Why not hug people you don’t know well simply because you share the earth with them, and because just maybe they might need it?

Jett Takle, I nearly weep with joy every time I sit and think about how you light up my world. You are such a special kid, and you unashamedly continue to love the things you love even if no one else around you does. You continue to be amazed how beautiful the world around you is, and you remind us all to soak it in.

I love how you are sensitive to the people around you. I love how you notice when someone walks into a room. I love how when people you hardly know say hello to you, your immediately response is to hug them. You make every person feel like they matter to you. And, the truth is, every person really does matter to you.

I love how you look up to your brother and think his music is the coolest music.

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I love how you love your sister and sometimes think you’re just as smart as she is.

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I love how you’re not afraid to try new things.

I love how you make us laugh every single day.

I love how in tune you are to your imagination. I remember your first basketball game this year. I said, “It’s your first basketball game today!” You responded, “Actually, it’s my second. I already imagined my first game and saw myself winning. So, I count that one as my first one.”

I love how you get excited about growing up but you also love the present moment so much that you don’t want to leave it.

I love how when you told me you wanted to try karaoke, that you got up there and sang like you had the Jett Takle Band behind you.

You don’t do anything half-way. You do it all the way.

And, you especially love all the way.

I love you so much, Jett Takle. You make every day an amazing one. Your entire family loves you, and your friends adore you. Because, you are you.

Thank you for making us all feel special. I hope you know how special YOU are.

Happy 9th Birthday. Let’s check out those stars and planets together tonight. After we karaoke, of course.

Love,

Mom

jett athens y

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Filed under imagination, Kid Stuff, Uncategorized

Welcome To Each Other’s World.

jett world

I love being a mom. It’s honestly my favorite thing I do/am. I think most moms feel this way. My views on parenting are constantly evolving and expanding. And, I LOVE this, too. One of the things that’s been expanding in how I view parenting is the fact that we are all eternal beings.

I’ve said for years that there is no little God in my children and big God in me. Same big God in all of us. This has always helped me in trusting the God in my children to do and work all that needs to be done and worked within each of them. The only difference between Jett and me might be our awareness of God within us at times.

One of the ways I’ve expanded this truth, is that I used to think I was more aware of God in me than one of my children simply because I’ve been practicing awareness longer. Not always true. Sometimes, Jett will be aware of something I have been missing. How is this possible? Because, his spirit is just as old as mine is. We are eternal beings, remember? I allow my own children’s awareness to expand my own.

Another way I’ve expanded the truth that we are all eternal beings is to not dismiss something one of my children feel strongly about. Don’t say things like, “You’re too young to feel that,” “You don’t understand love yet,” or “You are too young to know what you really want to do yet.” We may have been living this earthly experience longer, but our spirits are the same age. Don’t dismiss their feelings. Don’t doubt that their feelings are real. Listen to them. Engage their passions. Hear their cries and respond. They NEED you to do this.

And, probably the greatest revelation I’ve had lately in parenting is that we are in each other’s world. Years ago, I always said when each child was born, “They entered my world. I didn’t enter theirs.” I was so wrong, friends. And, if I told you this, I am so sorry. No, no, no, no. As eternal beings, we are walking this earthly journey TOGETHER. The spirit behind “They entered MY world” wasn’t necessarily wrong. But, in theory, it was very wrong. My thoughts behind it were that he or she will adapt to MY environment. He will adapt to my schedule. She will have to adapt to my life and what I have already set in motion. That’s like me saying, “Kris, brother, you need to adapt to my life, what I want, what I think, k?” Sure. That would go over great. We adapt to each other’s worlds. We embrace each other’s worlds. The same goes for my children.

I started getting this revelation 3 years ago when Anna was in the play, To Kill A Mockingbird, and I was taking her to and from rehearsals every single day. There were no nights out for me. There was no me having time for me. Friends, I was in her world. However, it was her world that I got to be a part of and also benefit from. But, it wasn’t until now that I have been able to flip the switch on what it means: We are in each other’s worlds instead of “you entered my world when you were born.”

Sometimes, my world is all about Anna’s world. Sometimes, it’s all about Jett and sometimes, it’s all about John Henry.

john world

Sometimes, it’s all about Kris’ world.

And, guess what, sometimes, it’s all about YOURS.

Moms, if you can get the revelation now that you are sharing this earthly journey together, and you are in each other’s worlds, then this will happen:

You will thrive in gratitude that you GET to be in their world. You GET to see the world through their eyes. You GET to take them here and there and everywhere and get a front row seat to their world.

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You will see so much more than you thought possible and expand in so much more than you thought possible because their lives and worlds add to yours. And, your world becomes so enlightened and so much more fun.

You will honor who they are as eternal, spiritual beings and treat them as such.

And, here’s what will NOT happen: resentment. You won’t resent giving up “your world” for “their world.” Because, all of the sudden, your worlds collide. Your world becomes theirs. And, their world becomes yours.

And, that, my mom friends, is magic.

Stay open. Stay aware. Remember who you are, and, don’t ever forget who they are. And, I promise you: being mom will only get better.

Keep expanding. Keep evolving. Welcome to each other’s worlds.

kids world

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Filed under Kid Stuff, life, Motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized