Category Archives: sex

I struggle with porn.


Okay, so I don’t struggle with porn personally.  

I struggle with the fact that pornography is something so few of us talk about.  I struggle with how it has destroyed marriages, hurt children, and shattered lives. 

It’s such a taboo subject that men and women don’t feel comfortable discussing their addiction to porn.  Sometimes, not even with his or her accountability partner. 

But, there is hope.

I want to encourage every single one of you to read Cindy Beall’s very personal story on how pornography affected her marriage.  And, how God restored it. 

And, remember, God’s restoration is not restoring something to as it was, but rather restoring it to what He created it to be.

Please, take the time to read Cindy’s story.  Her transparency will inspire you and her testimony will give you hope.

Our Story:  Chapter 1

Our Story:  Chapter 2

Our Story:  Chapter 3

Our Story:  Chapter 4

Our Story:  Chapter 5

The Slippery Slope

You can also read Cindy’s book here. 

We serve a God who heals, redeems, and restores.

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Filed under Marriage, Relationships, sex, Virtue

For a minute, I thought we were about to discuss the birds and the bees.


John Henry:
  “Hey, Mom.  I know how God made us.”

Me:  “You do?  How?”

John Henry:  “Well, first He glued a bunch of bones together, and made them into a skeleton.  Then, He put a costume on us.”

Me:  “Very good.”

Whew.

Okay.  I recognize that I accepted his interpretation of how life is created and even applauded him for it.  If you go back to the creation story in Genesis, John Henry is not too far off.  Right?  Maybe only a little. 

But it got me thinkin’.

When does the real sex talk happen?  I would imagine that we drop a little 411 here and there as our kids mature, so when we sit down for the big doozy, it’s not as shocking.  Kind of like when MacGyver unlocks our bedroom door and we explain to her that mommy and daddy are “talking” or “snuggling”.  This rests better on the ears of a three and five year old.  Of course, who knows what the pre-schoolers are talking about on the playground these days.   I’d like to think the only buzz is Buzz Lightyear.  For real.

Parenting.  This should be fun. 

Have you had “the talk” yet with your kiddos?  If so, how old were they when their little minds were enlightened? 

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Filed under parenting, sex

The Three Parts of Marriage (3 of 3)


Last but certainly not least is the physical part of marriage.  Let’s talk about sex.  You can exit out of this blog now, if I’ve already made you uncomfortable.  I won’t be offended.  As a matter of fact, I’ll never know.  But, if you can handle Song of Solomon, this is a walk in the park.

1 Corinthians 7:5 says Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

I believe each couple should decide what works best for them in regards to sex – at least the how often part.  I will be candid with you.  I have probably turned Kris down five times in five years of marriage.  This is what I have found:    There are rare times that sex is kind of like exercise.  I didn’t feel like doing it, but once I did, I was glad I did.  But more times than not, I want to share this greatest form of intimacy with my husband.  And as for the 1 Corinthians scripture that mandates us to not deprive our spouse unless we are giving ourselves to prayer?  Well, Kris would rather fast food than sex.  But that’s just him.

If you are a parent to young children, you know the obstacles you have to overcome to make sex happen while your children are at play.  We usually tell our kids that mommy and daddy are going to talk, and then we lock the door.  Our sneaky little MacGyver – you know which one I’m talkin’ about – has figured out that our car keys will unlock the door.  So, what now?  Hide the keys.

A big no-no in our bedroom is porn of any kind.  This is probably best left for an entirely different post.  But for us, we want our physical connection to be between the two of us – and no one else. 

On a deeper level, physical intimacy is the unveiling of yourself to make yourself more vulnerable in a trusting and loving relationship.  It creates a sense of unity.  In it, you approve each other’s need to be a sexual being.

There is much more I could write on the physical part of marriage – from all of the aspects of intimacy, including obstacles to achieving it.  But for the sake of time (and a really long post), I’ll leave it at that.  And one thing to always remember, we cannot expect perfection in our spouse when we ourselves are imperfect.

One of the best books I’ve read on intimacy is Intimacy: A 100-Day Guide to Lasting Relationships by Douglas Weiss.  If you haven’t read it, pick it up.  It’s worth the read.  And, it covers all three parts of marriage.

What are your thoughts?  Any other book recommendations? 

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Filed under Love, Relationships, sex