Category Archives: divorce

February 6, 2009 · 6:00 am

I have two daddies.

*Originally posted April 15, 2008

Once upon a time at a wedding of my dear friend, Brittany, my son served as a ring bearer. Dressed to perfection, another overheard him say, “I have two daddies.” Brittany’s friend who heard this rather common phenomenon asked another, “Are his daddies gay?” I still laugh about this even today. As for Kris and Bryan (the daddies), well, they find it less comical.

John Henry has a daddy. And, before he turned one year, he was blessed with another daddy. We make it work. We really do. You see, we had this novel idea: John Henry comes first. We have dinners together, and we have even vacationed together. I realize how strange my life may seem to some, but for us, it is our “normal”. Of course, a situation like ours would never work without Kris. He has never been “territorial”, nor has he ever felt threatened. He loves John Henry. Period. And, because of John Henry, he loves Bryan.

Here are his two daddies. (Left: Bryan, Right: Kris, Center: A blessed boy) They are patient and kind. They are not jealous. They endure through every circumstance.

jh-bryan-kris

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

5 Comments

Filed under divorce, Love, parenting

Tagged as divorce, forgiveness, Love, parenting, weddings

January 7, 2009 · 6:00 am

Sulking is an art.

Or, at least, I have the ability to make it one. If I want, I can even make such an event complete with an assortment of all of my favorite comfort foods from Junior Mints to Sour Patch Kids. Of course, such delicacies don’t need the occasional sulking for consumption. For real.

There are times we have all the reason in the world to sulk. To feel sorry for ourselves. Because, let’s face it. Sometimes, life is just plain unfair.

The key is not to stay there.

No matter how bad the circumstances appear.

Most of you know my story. I was pregnant with John Henry with a realization that I was about to be a single mom. On top of the pain, I had a few of those sulking parties. My dad has always had this charming way of dropping bits of wisdom here and there. He let me sulk. But, he wouldn’t let me settle into my pity. I will never forget the moment when he said, “Dusty, someone has walked out on his spouse today. And, she has no one. Look at what you have.”

I could go on and on with stories of people – friends – who made life better for me.

A lot of love surrounded me. And, I had this remarkable hope because of the One.

Feel free to sulk every once in a while. And, if you’re having Mayfield’s Moose Tracks ice-cream or chocolate in any form, invite me to join you. {I’m also available for the occasional chips and queso.}

But don’t stay there.

Eventually, you’ve got to look at what you have.

And, if the King is living inside of you, you have it all.

And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Psalm 39:7

7 Comments

Filed under disappointment, divorce, life, Spiritual Journey

Tagged as divorce, hope, pity, sulking

January 2, 2009 · 6:00 am

Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do!

John Henry overheard me say, “When I was married to Bryan” to my mom. The rest went something like this.

John Henry: “You weren’t married to Daddy Bryan! You’re married to Daddy Kris!”

Me: “I was married to your Daddy Bryan.”

John Henry: “No, you weren’t.”

Me: “Yes, I was. For five years! That’s how you came along.”

John Henry: (Laughing with disbelief) No you weren’t.

Me: (Laughing, too) Okay.

Another day.

Good times.

5 Comments

Filed under divorce, Kid Stuff, Randomness

Tagged as conversations, divorce, Kid Stuff, Marriage

September 22, 2008 · 6:00 am

What Kind?

Well, our weekend went off spectacularly. John Henry played his first soccer game, and he thought the tumble and roll was the best part of the game. Here he is before the uniform needed a good washing.

We were pretty certain this girl here was our ringer.

Not so much.

Anyhoo, the start of Takle/Landreth sports has begun. And, we couldn’t be more excited or proud.

Anna, much like her momma, kicked it back and soaked it all in.

As I gave John Henry one of his birthday gifts, I told him it was from his Dad.

His response and, no doubt, quote of the weekend, “What kind?”

In other words, which dad?

We all laughed at our not so normal life.

People often ask us how we do what we do. How do Kris and Bryan do dinner together, laugh together, and share the joys of one amazing boy together? I don’t know that I ever explain it all very well. This is what I do know:

– After Bryan and I separated (and I was pregnant with John Henry), I prayed several scriptures over Bryan’s life. (Thank you, Bob and LaRue McDaniel, for your amazing book, “Pray the Word”.)

– I chose forgiveness.

– I married a man who not only loves me, but loves John Henry so much that he loves Bryan, too.

– I took ownership in “my stuff.”

– I thank God every day that His mercies are new every morning.

Because, I need them. We all need them. And, I know that I know that I know, that I am nothing without Him.

What kind of dad? The kind that loves.

Aren’t you glad our heavenly Father loves us no matter what?

6 Comments

Filed under divorce, Love, parenting

Tagged as birthdays, divorce, fatherhood, Love, soccer

April 15, 2008 · 7:00 am

I have two daddies.

Here are his two daddies. (Left: Bryan, Right: Kris, Center: A blessed boy) They are patient and kind. They are not jealous. They endure through every circumstance.