Tag Archives: hope

An Appointment With God.

It is honestly hard to be as raw and real as this post will be. Because, I am a positive girl. I take captive thoughts that drain me, that aren’t good for me, and I’m usually really good at making those thoughts obedient to truth. Obedient to the fact that His ways are good and perfect. To the truth that all things work together for the good. ALL things. But, I have struggled these past two months. I haven’t struggled in knowing He is good. But, I have struggled with sadness and disappointment.

For a while, I kept calling it sadness. I am saddened by the immense loss I feel from losing people close to me. I am saddened by the hands some have been dealt undeservingly. I am saddened that I have not done the things personally I know I need to do. I am saddened that any child would feel any amount of love that is less than what my own children feel. I am saddened by the suffering others endure. I am saddened there is a family of seven wondering about their next meal. Grief upon grief. Layered one on top of the other. I have cried, almost daily, overwhelmed by it all.

Sunday night, I poured myself out to Kris. I emptied it all. “I am sad,” I told him. And, the more I shared, the more I realized that my sadness was really disappointment. I looked at Kris and finally said, “I am disappointed in this year.” I have been ready for it to end. I am ready for something new. Something different. I told him that maybe we don’t give grief its proper respect. We know loss is a part of the human experience. We grieve. We cry. But, maybe we underestimate the reality of how that loss affects our daily lives. We don’t give it the credence it’s due. Instead, we try to find the good instead of feeling what is really there.

These have been my feelings. This has been my burden. This has been my past two months.

But the ability to finally identify what I feel and call it disappointment finally changed how I see today. How I see tomorrow. If we wallow in our disappointment, it will kill our passion. It will hinder in my own life the greatest forces in this world: faith, hope, and love.

I am of reminded of a message my dad preached so many years ago. He talked about Samson. Samson forgot who he was. He was disappointed in his choices, in the world he had framed, in the promise he thought was lost. Until one day, he felt his hair touching his shoulders, and he remembered. He remembered his strength…he remembered the living, breathing force within him. He remembered the promise. He remembered who he was. And, he knew in that moment: for every disappointment in life is an appointment with God. And, that changed everything.

For every disappointment is an appointment with God. It’s a reckoning. It’s where we feel what we need to feel. Where we allow grief to be what it is. Where we allow disappointment to be what it is. But, there comes a day when, like Samson, we are reminded of our strength. We are reminded that we have a choice. We can stay in disappointment or we can allow it to thrust us forward. Where we connect the dots. Where we remember who we are. Where we use the very thing that disappointed us to push us forward to do the work He has called us to do.

We can hold fast to faith that screams He is able to do more than we can imagine. Faith that opens our eyes to see the unseen. We can trust in the hope that anchors our very soul. That secures us. That keeps us from tossing to and fro when the waves come. When the disappointments come. And, we can cling to love: who we really are. We can love ourselves so deeply that we actually let ourselves off the hook when we don’t live up to what we hoped we would do and be. We can love others with such intensity that nothing they do can ever taint how we see them: real, living souls who are images of God in the earth.

Kris texted me this morning, “So many times we forget what we are passionate about. Your passions are so powerful, and your words are so impactful. You miss just how awesome you are. Life is good, life is hard, and it’s our faith that will keep us strong. Stop holding back. Stop being afraid. You can do it. No matter what it is.” These were the words that pulled me out of my disappointment. And, this was the time God chose to do it. Because, Kris was God in the moment. In this time.

I felt my strength again this morning. And, I remembered. I remembered my passions. I remembered who I was. And, I remembered that I have an appointment with God.

I have an appointment with myself. An appointment to renew what needs to be renewed. And a mission to bring faith, hope, and love to the forefront of people’s lives.

Friends, to you I say: Stop holding back. Stop being afraid. You can do it. No matter what it is. Because, you have the three greatest forces moving towards you in your favor: faith, hope and love. Don’t miss how awesome you are. Don’t stay in disappointment. Trust in the hope that assures us nothing is ever truly lost. The hope that assures us the best is always ahead.

Today is going to be a good day.

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Filed under disappointment, God Stuff, life, making an impact, Spiritual Journey, Uncategorized

He Is For You.

Originally written and published in The Grip January 2014.

Romans 8:31 says, “What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” Minsters quote this all of the time. Heck, you’ve probably posted it as your Facebook status before. But, what does this truly mean? If God is for you, who can be against you? Does it mean exactly what it says? That, He is for you? Always? If this true, then that means ALL moments are for you. Because, God is in all moments.

That interruption in your day you weren’t expecting. That moment was for you. The cereal spilled all over the counter. That moment was for you. The trip back to your child’s school, because he forgot his lunch. That moment was for you. That busted pipe over the recent freeze. That moment was for you. Your spouse walking out the door and leaving you a single mother. That moment was for you.

That amazing sunset you paused to watch. That moment was for you. Witnessing the birth of your child. That moment was for you. Your littlest putting his nose to your nose and saying, “I love you, Mommy.” That moment was for you. Enjoying that incredible dinner with good friends. That moment was for you. Falling in love again. That moment was for you.

It doesn’t mean God caused any of the difficult circumstances. But, He as certainly been in them. And, in all moments. Because, He is for you. And, when you can wrap your head around the fact that if God is for you, then all moments are for you….then, you can learn to say, “Nothing goes wrong in my world.” But, all moments have been for me. On Christmas Day, when my husband and I realized our hot water had been leaking and ruined our downstairs floors….Neither of us became upset. Neither of us said, “We can’t catch a break” or “just our luck.” Neither of us felt attacked by a devil. It’s just life. Things break. And, instead of focusing on that inconvenience, our thoughts turned to gratitude for a wonderful first Christmas on our farm. When my oldest had a lot of questions about his dad leaving, I explained to him that if his dad could go back, he would make a different choice. He responded, “I wouldn’t want him to. Because, then I wouldn’t have my Daddy Kris and my little sister and brother.” Oh, if we could all see life’s moments as a child.

My most difficult moments have been my greatest teachers on forgiveness. My most beautiful moments have been my greatest teachers on thankfulness. And, I know He has been in them all. Because, He is always, always for me. And, He is always for you.

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Filed under God Stuff, gratitude, life, Life Experiences, Spiritual Journey

And, I Felt Like I Was Failing.

Jett - february wp

After a very hard evening with Jett, I sat on my sofa exhausted.

Weary.

Feeling I failed in that moment of being his mother.  Even grasping for hope for an easier evening tomorrow.

Tears streamed down my face, and my head collapsed in my hands.

Then, I heard the tender voice of my oldest say, “Mom……..I believe Jett is going to be great.”

Jett is going to be great.

Finally those words began echoing from my own Spirit.  And, then, I began to give thanks.

I am thankful for so many who whisper words of Christ to me.  Who encourage me.  Who renew my mind.  But, there is nothing like your very own child reminding you of who you are.  And, who THEY are.

Jett is going to be great.

I am going to be great.

YOU are going to be great.

Stop believing whatever your mind is telling you.  You tell your mind what to say to your spirit.

Because of Christ IN you….you have everything you need to do everything God has called you to do.

Because of Christ IN you….YOU ARE GREAT.

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Filed under God Stuff, Motherhood, parenting, Spiritual Journey

Who Knows What the Tide Will Bring.

Kris and I watch the movie Cast Away most every time it comes on television.  I’m not sure why.  There is practically little to no dialogue during the first half of the movie.  Come to think of it… Maybe, we like there is little to no dialogue.  Once you have three children, silence is bliss.

Anyway, we were watching recently and I heard Tom Hanks’ character say:

“I have to keep breathing.  Because, tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring.”

Many have inquired about my little surgery and biopsies and whathaveyou.  It was all good, friends.  All good.  I was never really fearful, but there is always an awareness of the fragility of life when our lives are stopped head on with major interruptions and more doctor’s appointments that we care to attend to. 

But, I am a wife.  I am a mother.  And, most importantly, I am a follower of Christ.  I have continue to walk in truth.  I have to keep pressing toward the mark no matter what is staring me in the face. 

While our current situation may look grim or seem hopeless, we have to keep breathing.  We have to keep praying.  We have to keep trusting in our Father who loves us more than we can fathom.  Because, tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what God will do.

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.  Psalm 30:5

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Filed under God Stuff, life

I Have A Favor That Can Change Lives.

Dear Friends,

I have a favor.  It’s a small favor, but it can pay huge rewards.  If you are a Facebook member, I am asking for you to become a fan of Chase Community Giving here.  Chase is giving one charity $1 million to pursue a Big Idea.  You can learn more about this project here.

Once you become a fan of Chase Community Giving, you can cast your vote for the charity you would like to see funded by Chase.  I humbly ask that you consider voting for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Network Cares.  Heard of EDS?  Most have not.  The EDS Network Cares writes,

“EDS is a life-threatening, painful, crippling genetic disorder caused by faulty collagen. It weakens the connective tissue causing fragile skin, joints, ligaments, organs, and blood vessels. EDS is misunderstood, grossly misdiagnosed, and some 90% never receive a proper diagnosis in their lifetime. There is no funding for research. There are no treatments. There is no cure. Today, we are at the threshold of promising research that can change all this and offer those who suffer, HOPE. It’s estimated that 1,358,640 people are affected worldwide, and thousands die. Sadly, many are diagnosed at autopsy after catastrophic internal ruptures. Yearly, 30,000 children are born with bleak futures as they struggle with lifelong consequences due to EDS. Our HOPE is to continue to fund research, increase education/awareness, find treatment options, and save/improve lives. Help us find that cure.”

You can read more about EDS and their Big Idea here.

Why is this charity so important to me?  Because, I lost a best friend in 1998 to Vascular EDS.  His name was Josh Doss.  Few have ever been as passionate about life as Josh.  He was a lover of Christ and a lover of people.   His son, Karsten, was only seven weeks old at the time of Josh’s death.  In the few short days after Josh died, his mother, Debbie learned that Karsten had the same disease. 

And, there is no cure.

Please, watch this video as a tribute to Josh and Karsten.  Then, please cast your vote for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Network Cares so Karsten, and so many others like him, can have a chance at long life.  Vote for EDS.  Vote for hope.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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Filed under giving, health, making an impact

No Matter.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.  Ephesians 3:20 (The Message)

I love this scripture.  I especially love The Message translation. 

Yet still I sometimes overlook it.

Then, I discover it again.  And, I pray that this time, it will remain written on my heart.

Because, it is foundational to my faith.

To my life.

It is hope.

It is truth.

And, we need not forget.

That no matter what place we are in.

No matter how fiercely our battles wage.

No matter what the report reads.

No matter how high the mountain is.

No matter how long the walk through the valley takes.

No matter.

God can do anything, you know.

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Filed under disappointment, God Stuff

My Pre-Blogging Life: Part Three

journal entry jan 03 wp

January 16, 2003, my divorce was final.  Below is the latter part of my journal entry on that day.  If you are going through a difficult time today, I hope these words give you hope.  I hope they help you realize that in the middle of your storm, God’s presence and goodness is always there.

I know these things for certain:

1.  I’m blessed with a beautiful son.

2.  I have friends that carry me, make me laugh, and love me.

3.  My parents love me, and my happiness is their greatest concern.

4.  There is release in forgiveness.

5.  I am strong.

6.  I’m not afraid to love or put my heart on the line.

7.  I’m ready to, pardon the cliché, spread my wings and fly.

8.  Doors are wide open.

9.  It is good to laugh long and hard every day.

10. I’m better than okay.

11. God has only good things for me.

12. Tribulation produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, and character produces hope.  And, hope does not disappoint.

13. This, too, shall pass.

14. I love my life.

15. I miss my dogs.

16. I love to dance.

17. Running releases stress.

18. I’m the luckiest girl on earth.

19. I’m thankful ’02 is over.

20. I’m thankful for ’02.

Life is an incredible journey.  I learn and grow from every second it offers.  I’m in a great place, and I’ll be in a better place tomorrow.

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Filed under disappointment, divorce, Friendship, gratitude, life, Love, Spiritual Journey