Category Archives: parenting

February 15, 2011 · 5:00 am

She Is Still Anna Takle.

“I love the way I look,” she declared staring at her new clothes in the mirror before church on Sunday morning.

She insisted the scarf and purse were necessary “accessories” to complete her look.  I had obliged and made the shopping trip about her. 

“I want you to like the way you look.  I want you to feel good about how you look.  But, always be careful not to tell everyone how fabulous you think you look.  It’s not a good character trait,” I told her.

“Oh, right.  It’s kind of like being proud,” she agreed.

“Proud?”

“Yes.  It says in Corinthians that love is not proud.  It is patient, kind, it isn’t jealous, it isn’t proud, and a bunch of other stuff,” she told me.

She gets it!  She is learning to apply scripture to everyday life!  I couldn’t be more thrilled! 

After church was over, her teacher, Mrs. Layna, took a picture of a note Anna wrote to her that day and sent it to me.

So, she may not apply every scripture to her life.  Of course, neither does her momma.

She is still the determined, creative, and fun girl God created her to be.  She is still Anna Takle. 

And, I’m so glad she is.

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February 9, 2011 · 5:00 am

Reaching the Heart of My Girl.

Well.  I would love to tell you all that I have not complained.  And, perhaps, I could tell you exactly that if it weren’t for a six year old who makes Carrie Bradshaw’s wardrobe choices look ordinary.  It’s really not the fact that she wanted to wear her green and blue striped shirt with the hood under her blue and black shirt with a peace sign under her gray and pink shirt she wore the day before.  Really, it’s not.  Okay, well, the repeat of the day before shirt did get to me a little.  But, it was the time it took her to put this envious fashion statement together. 

Coupled with the fact that she completely ignored my instruction to brush her hair, her teeth, and put on socks and shoes. 

Because, no momma wants her children to be late for school.  Otherwise, she will have to park her car, and walk into the school.  With her disheveled hair.  And, scary, pasty face.  And, faded yoga pants that have never seen a day of yoga.   

So, can I be really transparent here without judgment?  K.  Thanks.

I always feel like parenting my boys is easy.  While, Anna seems to push every single button on my 5 foot 3 body.  I overuse phrases like “she wears me out.”  I find it easy to acknowledge how incredibly bright she is, but I find it difficult to appreciate the things that make her different.

And, for this?  I’m disappointed in myself as a mother.  I’m reminded of that mirror again.  So, I ask myself, “What is it in me makes me respond to my daughter the way I do?” 

Do I feel that I lose some sort of control when she chooses differently from me?

Do I feel that I will look like a bad mother if she says something that I would never say to another person? 

What is it in me?  What is keeping me from embracing her whole self? 

So, it’s back to the mirror I go.

I only have one daughter.  And, I love her with everything inside of me.  Does she feel that love?  I was wondering this very thing Monday night, so I took advantage of the Five Love Languages assessment for children. 

Anna’s primary love language?  Quality time with physical touch coming in at a close second.  I’m sure Anna loves to hear me tell her how brilliant I think she is.  But, it seems, she needs my time and my touch more than anything else.  This is how she receives love best. 

Dusty Takle needs to simmer down.  Look into the mirror.  And, then give her daughter what she needs from her. 

I need to give her what she needs now, so she will come to me later. 

And, look at the sheer fun this girl brings to the table.

Besides, I’ve heard stories of a little girl who also challenged her mother about, well, about everything.  She grew up and married a pilot and had three children of her own. 

Y’all do me a favor and remind me of this post tomorrow morning when we are getting ready for school.  And, my apologies to the neighbors for what they may or may not have heard yesterday morning. 

Selah.

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January 11, 2011 · 8:56 am

Honor.

I would have posted yesterday, but I didn’t.  I figured most of you were too consumed with sledding and hot chocolate to read some post.  As for me, nothing edible was safe in my house.  I did, however, cut my 3 Oreos with my coffee down to 2 today.  Because, I do make good choices some days.  And, being trapped inside a house with little people will really make you tune into the choices your children are making. 

I have a chalkboard hanging in the hallway in our home.  I periodically put scriptures on it, and teach them to my children.  A few days ago, Anna reminded me to change the scripture, since she was very aware that in the city of David, a Savior had already born.  So, I thought this one appropriate:

“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”  Exodus 20:12

“What does honor mean?”  Anna asked.

“It’s to treat someone with value,” I explained to her. 

My cousin was gracious to allow both John Henry and Anna spend Sunday afternoon with his little boy.  After hearing him respond to his dad with a little attitude, Anna told him what the Bible says about honoring your mother and father.  Then, she followed it up with, “if you wanna live a long life…”

Had I known Anna would take this to heart as much as she has, I would have posted that scripture a very long time ago. 

Later, Anna asked, “Will you really live a long life if you honor your parents?”

Fair question.  Especially, considering the fact that many young have left us early.  Some biblical scholars feel the promise of long life here is referring to that particular nation inhabiting that land for many days as opposed to life span.  So, I explained to Anna that this means her life would be much happier.  She would be much more content.  And, often times, a happy life affects the length of someone’s life.  It certainly affects a full life.

Yesterday, when Anna asked me what I was waiting for when she requested more Sprite, I quickly reminded her of honor.  Her dad quickly took away her privilege of getting more.  And, she quickly learned that her life, at that moment, was not full.

I think it will be a while before I erase that chalkboard.

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January 3, 2011 · 5:00 am

Chasing Babies, Chasing Dreams.

I’m back.

I made a few resolutions for this new year.  One was to blog.  Consistently.

Again.

I blame my previous lack of consistency on Mario Andretti here.

Why didn’t anyone tell me these little guys like to eat paper, climb stairs, swiffer floors, and find every single, tiny, choking hazard on the ground?  Because, clearly, I have never done this before.  Or, at least, that’s how it often feels. 

But, I also don’t remember soaking up every second of growth and change like I have done with this grand finale to the Takle family.  I think I am much more aware of that whole “you’ll blink your eyes” analogy.  And, he is a joy, I tell ya.

Along with my resolution to write more on this blog, I begin another writing adventure this week. 

A book. 

I am in the process of outlining a book with my dad on….

My lips are sealed.  Its title is top secret.  But, if you run into me in the grocery store, I’m sure I’ll tell you if you ask.

I’ve also been outlining a book on my own.  But, I’m switching gears on that one to devote my time to this collaborative effort with Dad.  I am hoping that by the year’s end, both will be finished.

Because, writing a book has been a dream. 

And, I’m excited about chasing after that dream.

What are you chasing after this year?

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November 16, 2010 · 8:54 am

A Day in the Life of Mom.

One certainly cannot be selfish in motherhood or marriage.  Although, I would have appreciated someone throwing me the latest Vogue magazine or a quiet room with HGtv illuminating the television last night.  But, instead, I assisted in removing training wheels from Anna’s bicycle, who insisted she was ready to take the bike riding plunge.  We don’t rush into things ‘round here.  Frustrated with the fact that she had not mastered the skill of riding sans training wheels within the first 10 seconds, wailing and gnashing of teeth followed.  Which is why we don’t rush into things ‘round here. 

My stuffy-nosed, almost 8 month old, baby boy led to mommy making a trip to Rite Aid for Vick’s Vapor Plug-Ins.  Moms and dads, these will open up even your own little breathers.  I couldn’t return home before making a grocery store run for obvious dinner essentials such as cheese and tortilla chips.  And bananas, too.  Because, good, solid nutrition is important to us. 

Later, John Henry decided it was as good a time as any to begin his online Hunter Safety Education Course.  I was thrilled to PRESS PLAY and listen to the introduction to the course.  Thrilled.  Let me say how thankful I am for my new knowledge of wildlife conservation funding and the importance of unobstructed barrels.  And, to think, the education has just begun. 

I could not send my children into bed fast enough I scooped up my sweet children and tucked them into their beds, anticipating a box of Junior Mints with mindless television viewing to follow.  But, why oh why would I need such down time when I can sit in my bed and listen to ONLINE instruction of take-off minimums, single engine operations, DME approaches, and other aviation awesomeness?  Exactly.  So, instead, I decided to cry myself to sleep after thumbing through old photo albums of a 3 year old and 1 year old. 

This morning, there will be no down time.  Because, Anna decided she needed a “mental health day.”  Blessed assurance.  Jesus is mine.  And, this day?  Well, it is most certainly hers. 

Happy Tuesday, friends!  And, cheers to all moms.

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August 26, 2010 · 5:00 am

Life Is Not Good For Me.

And, that is what prompted my Google searches on “how to start a non-profit organization.”  If you read yesterday’s post, you are aware that my son was unhappy that I have an iPad, and he doesn’t.  He was also unhappy that his sister slept with me, and he didn’t.  At the close of the evening on Tuesday night, he grumbled a little more.  I simply told him, “Life is good for you, John Henry.”

“Life is not good for me,” I heard him say as he traipsed up the stairs. 

No. He. Just. Didn’t. 

Yes. He. Did.

It was as if I had been practicing the parenting speech that would follow for years.

“Come here, son.  Let me take you to a third world country and show you children with no toys.  Let me take to you a poverty-stricken village where children sleep with no roof over their heads.  Let me take you to a place where children are hungry and wondering if they will eat that day.  Wondering if this is the day they STARVE TO DEATH.”

Notice how I emphasized the “starve to death” part for dramatic impact?

I continued to tell him how blessed he is.  Not remind him.  But, tell him.  Because, somehow, he had been completely unaware some children go without food.  But, beyond telling him about his blessings, I told him that things are just things.  I told him I could drop my fancy iPad tomorrow, and it could shatter into tiny pieces.  And, what would I have left?  Well, not a cool iPad, and probably an upset husband.  But, anyway….

I would still be a child of a King who completes me.  That, in Him, I can be content no matter where I am or what I have.  Because of HIM.

He went onto bed, and I followed up shortly after.  I noticed tears streaming down his cheeks.  Being the good parent that I am, I assumed he was crying over how “life isn’t good” for him.  Good one, Mom. 

“That’s not why I’m crying,” he responded.

“Then, why?”

“Because there are hungry children. “

I comforted him and nodded.

Then, he asked, “What can we do?”

Wow.  I wasn’t prepared for that one.  So, I gave the “we give more, and we need others to give more to help feed them” answer.

“Can I start collecting money for them?”  He asked me.

“I think so.  Let’s talk about this tomorrow.”

So, we prayed, and we talked again the next day. 

Last night, he reminded me about our conversation.  I asked him to pray.  I asked him to seek God and ask Him to show him ways to raise money for those less fortunate.  Then, I told him, that when he feels like God gives him an idea, to let me know.

In the meantime, I’m researching on my end.  And, while I realize there are plenty of good solid organizations to give to, I know this is something he needs to do.  He wants to do.  And, really?  I guess we all need to want to do it.  Who knows where this will go.  Or, perhaps, what organization it might connect us to.  But, I do know John Henry desires to put hands and feet to his new awareness that hungry children exist.  And, I want to do the same.

He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward him for what he has done.”  Proverbs 19:17

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August 25, 2010 · 6:00 am

Necessary Supplies.

After all that talk yesterday about feeding my spirit, so my flesh will starve, I decided to read the entire New Testament again. 

I lie.  You see what happens when you don’t soak up God’s word?  You lie.  Actually, I fed my flesh a little with this new, fun creature. 

I love my husband.  Not because he gave me this iPad, which he did.  But, because he also e-mails me pics like this:

He had a few mosquito bites.  He sent me this pic of his “supplies.”  I’m just glad he didn’t go overboard.   And, I actually do understand the necessity of something such as Lifesavers Gummies. 

Anyhoo.  I actually waited until the littlest fellow went to bed, so I could give my anniversary gift my full attention.  Of course, when you are a mother of little people, it’s rare that anything ever gets your full attention.  And, my oldest two made sure it didn’t.  They both felt it was unfair that mommy got an iPad and they didn’t. 

Cry me a river. 

Well, John Henry nearly did.  On top of the fact that he doesn’t own an iPad, his sister got to sleep with me, and he didn’t.  And, the conversation that ensued is one that he will never, ever forget.  And, neither will I. 

Come back tomorrow for that one.

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August 19, 2010 · 7:06 am

Am I A Black Person?

John Henry checked out a book from the library called “Ron’s Big Mission.”   Before he began to read the book aloud to me, I was not quite prepared to have a discussion on America’s past history of segregation.  But, it was time.  I am sure.

The book is based on the true story of Ron McNair who, as a child, was an avid reader and loved to read books about airplanes.  Growing up in South Carolina in the 50’s and 60’s was not exactly easy for any black child.  Especially a black boy who simply wanted to check out books from his local whites only public library. 

Until one day, Ron decided he wasn’t leaving the library until he was a card holder.  His mother was called, police officers showed up, and Ron stood his ground still.  As a result, Ron changed a piece of history and became the first black person to check out books from that library.

Talk about a lion chaser.

John Henry, of course, asked a lot of questions.  A lot of surprising questions.

“Am I a black person?” he asked. 

“No, baby, you are a white person.”

At this point in the conversation, I realized he had never identified people belonging to different races.  So, I asked him what he thought when he saw someone with dark skin. 

“I just thought their skin was darker.  That is all.  I kind of have dark skin, so I am really kind of white and black.”  He told me. 

“Sure.  You are white and black,” I assured him. 

I was not about to disappoint him.  I taught him about the days of segregation.  I explained where we were as a nation during those times and where we are now.  Honestly, it was a difficult, but necessary conversation. 

We then read a little more on the life of Ron McNair.  This 9-year old hero grew up to be an even greater American hero.  This little boy who loved airplanes became a pilot.  And, on January 28, 1986, he lost his life as an astronaut during the launch of the Space Shuttle Challenger.

I hope John Henry not only learned something about the significance of civil rights.  I also hope he learned about what it means to stand up for something he believes in.  And, what it really means to be a lion chaser.


Ron McNair
October 21, 1950 – January 28, 1986

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August 18, 2010 · 7:06 am

It Takes A Village.

Why do I think about how much I love my children when they’re in bed asleep more than I do when they are awake and running amuck?  Well, because they are running amuck, I suppose.  After I put the three little people to bed last night, dad and I discussed in length about chasing after God through worship, which has nothing to do with this post, really.  So, AFTER dad and I had our little Jesus talk, he went home, and I went to bed and thought about what I’m doing to fulfill my mission for my family:  raising my children to be fully devoted followers of Christ.  I try to be very intentional in talking with my children about who God is in their life.  They ask a lot of questions now about the things of God. 

Especially, Anna.  Of course, she asks a lot of questions about everything and is generally disappointed in my lack of knowledge on the snake species.  She has also requested a “snake party” for her birthday.  John Henry told her if she has snakes at her party, then he isn’t coming.  She responded with, “Well, I won’t invite you, then.”  Fair enough.  She’s also asked for camouflage apparel for deer hunting season.  The vogue in me shouts, “Stop this madness!”  I blame Kris.  He is not exactly burning holes on the fashion runways. 

Questions.  So, Anna asked, “Okay, there is the Holy Spirit….and who are the other two?”  I’ve decided to let dad explain the trinity to her.  Because, I failed miserably in trying to explain it to my husband. 

I look to other lovers of Jesus to partner with me in raising my children to become devoted followers of Christ.  And, I look to Mrs. Darlene, her Sunday School teacher, to work out the kinks in her response to learning that Esther was a queen:  “I don’t like princesses.  Not Ariel.  Not any of them.” 

This is why the body of Christ is so important.  I really wouldn’t want to do life without them.  And, fulfilling my family mission would be a lot harder to do alone.  So, I work hard to make sure my kids don’t miss a Sunday at church.  And, I work hard to make sure I don’t miss out on life experiences to disciple them. 

It takes a village, people.

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August 12, 2010 · 5:00 am

Don’t Close Up Shop.

I can let life swallow me up.  I can.  I can allow the activities and antics of three children cause me to close up shop on sharing my gifts with others.  Serving others.  Because, it seems like too much at that moment.

But, it’s not always too much.  It’s not usually as stressful as we make it out to be.  It’s just our response to those busy moments that mess with our head.  Okay, maybe it’s just my head.  Maybe, it’s just me? 

I almost let one of those moments make me close up shop yesterday afternoon.  My sweet husband had a dinner meeting with airplane-ish type folk.  I had household obligations, two children with obligations, and an infant who, well, was only obligated to let me know when he was hungry.  And, he was.  Of course, he was.   Have you seen him?  Only the cutest chunk of love in the history of chunks of love. 

You see?  I do not lie, friends.

It would have been easier to let these things – life things – consume me.  Stay home.  Pretend there was nothing or no one else besides myself and my three little people.  It really would have.  But, one thing I’ve learned (and my parents have taught me) in my thirty-five plus years on planet earth is this:

My life will be more blessed when I live beyond myself. 

Beyond me.  Beyond my kids’ homework and schedules.  Beyond the constant needs of an infant.  Beyond making sure I’ve emptied the dishwasher.  Beyond getting my hair ministered to – which by the power of the Holy Spirit, I was able to fit that in.  Can I get an amen on coverin’ them roots? 

I was responsible for teaching the youth last night.  And, for some dadgum reason, I can’t say “youth” without thinking of My Cousin Vinny.  You know the line.  “Your honor, two utes.”  I seriously can’t.  I drive myself crazy sayin’ it.  ANY. HOW.

By choosing to overcome any stress that parenting, sans my awesome husband, brings, I used one of my gifts.  More than that, I just served.  And, instead of staying home, putting my children to bed, and contemplating how hectic my day was….

I put my children to bed, and then I went to bed fulfilled.  Content.  Happy.  Blessed.

I think that’s what Paul meant in Acts 20 when he said, “it’s more blessed to give than to receive.” 

But, don’t get me wrong.  If any of y’all wanna come keep three little people and send me to the spa, I will not make you withhold those good gifts.  You know.  Since that would bless y’all and all.

Ahem.

I mean, Amen.

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