Tag Archives: raising children

January 11, 2019 · 2:02 pm

Welcome To Each Other’s World.

jett world

I love being a mom. It’s honestly my favorite thing I do/am. I think most moms feel this way. My views on parenting are constantly evolving and expanding. And, I LOVE this, too. One of the things that’s been expanding in how I view parenting is the fact that we are all eternal beings.

I’ve said for years that there is no little God in my children and big God in me. Same big God in all of us. This has always helped me in trusting the God in my children to do and work all that needs to be done and worked within each of them. The only difference between Jett and me might be our awareness of God within us at times.

One of the ways I’ve expanded this truth, is that I used to think I was more aware of God in me than one of my children simply because I’ve been practicing awareness longer. Not always true. Sometimes, Jett will be aware of something I have been missing. How is this possible? Because, his spirit is just as old as mine is. We are eternal beings, remember? I allow my own children’s awareness to expand my own.

Another way I’ve expanded the truth that we are all eternal beings is to not dismiss something one of my children feel strongly about. Don’t say things like, “You’re too young to feel that,” “You don’t understand love yet,” or “You are too young to know what you really want to do yet.” We may have been living this earthly experience longer, but our spirits are the same age. Don’t dismiss their feelings. Don’t doubt that their feelings are real. Listen to them. Engage their passions. Hear their cries and respond. They NEED you to do this.

And, probably the greatest revelation I’ve had lately in parenting is that we are in each other’s world. Years ago, I always said when each child was born, “They entered my world. I didn’t enter theirs.” I was so wrong, friends. And, if I told you this, I am so sorry. No, no, no, no. As eternal beings, we are walking this earthly journey TOGETHER. The spirit behind “They entered MY world” wasn’t necessarily wrong. But, in theory, it was very wrong. My thoughts behind it were that he or she will adapt to MY environment. He will adapt to my schedule. She will have to adapt to my life and what I have already set in motion. That’s like me saying, “Kris, brother, you need to adapt to my life, what I want, what I think, k?” Sure. That would go over great. We adapt to each other’s worlds. We embrace each other’s worlds. The same goes for my children.

I started getting this revelation 3 years ago when Anna was in the play, To Kill A Mockingbird, and I was taking her to and from rehearsals every single day. There were no nights out for me. There was no me having time for me. Friends, I was in her world. However, it was her world that I got to be a part of and also benefit from. But, it wasn’t until now that I have been able to flip the switch on what it means: We are in each other’s worlds instead of “you entered my world when you were born.”

Sometimes, my world is all about Anna’s world. Sometimes, it’s all about Jett and sometimes, it’s all about John Henry.

john world

Sometimes, it’s all about Kris’ world.

And, guess what, sometimes, it’s all about YOURS.

Moms, if you can get the revelation now that you are sharing this earthly journey together, and you are in each other’s worlds, then this will happen:

You will thrive in gratitude that you GET to be in their world. You GET to see the world through their eyes. You GET to take them here and there and everywhere and get a front row seat to their world.

anna world

You will see so much more than you thought possible and expand in so much more than you thought possible because their lives and worlds add to yours. And, your world becomes so enlightened and so much more fun.

You will honor who they are as eternal, spiritual beings and treat them as such.

And, here’s what will NOT happen: resentment. You won’t resent giving up “your world” for “their world.” Because, all of the sudden, your worlds collide. Your world becomes theirs. And, their world becomes yours.

And, that, my mom friends, is magic.

Stay open. Stay aware. Remember who you are, and, don’t ever forget who they are. And, I promise you: being mom will only get better.

Keep expanding. Keep evolving. Welcome to each other’s worlds.

kids world

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October 18, 2017 · 8:29 am

Don’t Kill the Wonder.

Wonder

I receive these texts every morning with some sort of positive affirmation or healthy advice for the day. Today, the text read, “Unapologetically seek bliss today.” The text link led me to an article called “‘Ikagai’ is Japan’s Secret to Living a Long, Happy Life.” The author writes that ikagai is “the happiness of always being busy, but it doesn’t mean a schedule packed with mindless errands and activities. Rather, the thing that makes you want to get up in the morning, makes you want to work hard, and colors your life with purpose.” She further writes, “When you follow through on things you enjoy and limit the things you don’t, you’re taking steps towards pursuing what’s important to you.” (Anna Meyer)

This came at such a perfect time as my dad and I were discussing yesterday how so many lose their wonder in life. The truth is, we kill it. Or someone else kills it for us. We kill it in our children completely unaware that we are doing it. When we seek after the things that fill us with joy, we inspire that wonder. When we stop, so does the wonder.

We tell our kids things like, “You can’t always get what you want.” We tell them, “Life isn’t always one big party.” I’ve done it. I’m sure you have. I know our hearts behind it aren’t wrong. We think we are teaching them responsibility. And, that lesson is important. We think we are teaching them to be realistic with their wants and goals. Now, THAT lesson isn’t so much. We think if our little ones want too many things, then they aren’t thankful for what they already have. So, we squelch or diminish the importance or value in them wanting something. We kill their wonder.

It’s not that we never use the word “no.” It IS that we become facilitators, teaching them how to create their world. Teaching them that life IS meant to be full of wonder. Teaching them it’s okay to seek happiness. A couple of years ago I read a book by Shefali Tsabary called “Out of Control.” She is also the author of the “The Conscious Parent,” which may be more familiar to you. One chapter was titled, “How to Say ‘Yes’ or ‘No” Effectively.” My conversation with dad prompted me to pull this book back off the shelf. I’m glad I did. I began reading again about how we kill their wonder when we don’t value what they desire. Tsabary writes that we “deliver messages such as, ‘You are being so greedy, you should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t you know that money doesn’t grow on trees? You seem to think we are made of money.’ Shaming our children for their honest desires in this way, we dishonor their feelings. A practical matter has become a personal issue, with the parent feeling frustrated and the child rejected. Our children have every right to want things – this is normal and healthy. It indicates they have a connection to their lives.”

You see our purpose isn’t to run out and buy those things for them. I’m not arguing you can’t. Sometimes, the joy of parenting is saying, “Yes. Let’s go get this.” BUT, the beauty for us as parents is to facilitate their dreams. To teach them to have goals. To help them create ways to work for these things and attain them. To let them know that we are for them and will partner with them. “Our children learn they are active co-creators in their universe, able to actualize their dreams through action. Such children grow up to make good decisions in life.”

I dare say, such children grow up to never lose their wonder for life. Because, we as parents have taught them what it means to truly be created in God’s image – Elohim – creators. Creators are always inspired. And, that inspiration always comes from wonder. So, everyday, they get up and unapologetically seek bliss by actively fulfilling their life’s purpose.

Finally, I would say that this is not selfish. It sounds self-fulfilling. Partially, it is. But, as each one fulfills his or her purpose, the rest of the world benefits. We all gain from each other’s gifts. Am I trying to create a world filled with magic and love and peace and hope and bliss? Am I THAT crazy to think it’s possible? You better believe I am. Now, YOU. Go seek bliss today.

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February 11, 2013 · 10:14 pm

And, I Felt Like I Was Failing.

Jett - february wp

After a very hard evening with Jett, I sat on my sofa exhausted.

Weary.

Feeling I failed in that moment of being his mother.  Even grasping for hope for an easier evening tomorrow.

Tears streamed down my face, and my head collapsed in my hands.

Then, I heard the tender voice of my oldest say, “Mom……..I believe Jett is going to be great.”

Jett is going to be great.

Finally those words began echoing from my own Spirit.  And, then, I began to give thanks.

I am thankful for so many who whisper words of Christ to me.  Who encourage me.  Who renew my mind.  But, there is nothing like your very own child reminding you of who you are.  And, who THEY are.

Jett is going to be great.

I am going to be great.

YOU are going to be great.

Stop believing whatever your mind is telling you.  You tell your mind what to say to your spirit.

Because of Christ IN you….you have everything you need to do everything God has called you to do.

Because of Christ IN you….YOU ARE GREAT.

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March 22, 2012 · 5:00 am

The Terrific Twos.

You may call them terrible. I call them terrific. Perhaps, it’s because I now know firsthand that I will blink my eyes, and Jett Takle will be in Kindergarten. And, if you have children who have already graduated from high school, I really don’t need to hear how that day will be here for me faster than I can say, “Let’s play Candy Land.” Granted, I have days I dream of an empty nest, and Kris and I relaxing in the Caribbean somewhere. We give our grown children our mobile numbers, but we don’t tell them where we are. It’s true. I do think about it. But, most of the time, I think about how much I love these years. With its chaos and laughter and discoveries and first words and piano lessons and guitar lessons, and so many assorted cereal options in one pantry that even Jerry Seinfeld would be jealous.

I love this life.

And, I am so thankful for that day I looked at Kris and said, “You know, I think I do want one more baby.” Because, two years ago today, Jett Takle completed our family. He makes us smile bigger and more often than we ever dreamed possible.

Jett, I love the way you love eating apples. I’m so glad Mr. Jenkins at Piggly Wiggly lets you eat one from the produce section to make my grocery store trips easier. And, I’m so glad you let the cashier weigh your half-eaten apple with the others so, we can pay for it.

I love the way you love “driving” the truck on the farm with your daddy.

Your big brother and sister don’t even ask to drive any more. Probably, because they know you will beat them to it.

I love the way you love learning new things. Like fishing. And, I love how you look to your daddy so many times for his approval on doing it right.

There is no doubt. You get your immense passion for farm life from your father. I love the way you start “mooing” as soon as we drive up to the farm. You make your daddy follow those cows all over. And, you are certain to cry when we leave them.

And, it’s really no surprise one of your first words was “airplane.”

You are fascinated with them.

I have a feeling that once you figure out your daddy flies them, he will be an even greater rock star in your eyes. If that is even possible.

I love how you take your big brother’s hand. I love how he lets you take him anywhere you want to go. I especially love how you call him “Bubba”, and he calls you “Bubba” right back. Melt. My. Heart.

I love how you love crawling up into your Sissy’s bed to watch her draw.

Just a word of advice: Try not to touch all of her stuff in her room. It’ll save us both a lot of heartache.

You make our lives so much richer. You make us so much more aware of all of the good stuff around us. You make us press pause and soak in the joys again of blowing dandelions. And, roaring like a lion. And, rolling in the grass. And, eating popsicles. And, cheering, “Yay!”

Happy Birthday, Jett. I pray that over this next year you begin learning about your Creator. Because, when He made you, He really made a wonderful thing.

I love you to the moon and back one million times,

Mom

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August 1, 2011 · 5:00 am

One Shot.

Sometimes in the middle of raising three children, I stop and think how easy my parents had it bringing up just one.  I’m mean, it was always two adults to one child.  How hard could it have been taking me to my weekly gymnastics that I quit as soon as I started?  Just one kid.  And, a sweet, compliant one at that.  It’s my blog, I can lie if I want to.

It’s not the easiest making sure we invest into each of our children in a way we feel is “enough.”  As a matter of fact, we rarely think it’s enough.  We just trust that God has given us everything we need to accomplish everything we need to as parents.  And, we trust His grace to take care of the rest.  ‘Cause you know….I have one shot at this parenting thing.

One shot at making sure this tender heart stays tender, so he can be the face of Christ to those who need Him.

One shot at showing this smart girl how there are no limits to what her determined, fun spirit can do when it is submitted to His Spirit.

One shot at teaching this fearless, wild at heart, (sometimes spoiled) kid three that God wants to use His adventurous heart for His Kingdom. 

One shot.  That’s it. 

I don’t remember all of the extra-curricular stuff my parents made time for.  But, I do remember the life experiences they turned into discipleship opportunities.  I do remember God always being the center of every single decision.  And, I remember looking at my parents so many times and seeing what the love of Christ looks like. 

I hope that’s what my three remember.  I hope they remember Jesus in our house. 

And, maybe when they are thirty-six years old sitting around a lunch table with Kris and I, they will still be amazed at the amount of Jesus pouring from our lives. 

Just like my parents continue to amaze me.  Even if they did only have one kid.

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January 3, 2011 · 5:00 am

Chasing Babies, Chasing Dreams.

I’m back.

I made a few resolutions for this new year.  One was to blog.  Consistently.

Again.

I blame my previous lack of consistency on Mario Andretti here.

Why didn’t anyone tell me these little guys like to eat paper, climb stairs, swiffer floors, and find every single, tiny, choking hazard on the ground?  Because, clearly, I have never done this before.  Or, at least, that’s how it often feels. 

But, I also don’t remember soaking up every second of growth and change like I have done with this grand finale to the Takle family.  I think I am much more aware of that whole “you’ll blink your eyes” analogy.  And, he is a joy, I tell ya.

Along with my resolution to write more on this blog, I begin another writing adventure this week. 

A book. 

I am in the process of outlining a book with my dad on….

My lips are sealed.  Its title is top secret.  But, if you run into me in the grocery store, I’m sure I’ll tell you if you ask.

I’ve also been outlining a book on my own.  But, I’m switching gears on that one to devote my time to this collaborative effort with Dad.  I am hoping that by the year’s end, both will be finished.

Because, writing a book has been a dream. 

And, I’m excited about chasing after that dream.

What are you chasing after this year?

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August 18, 2010 · 7:06 am

It Takes A Village.

Why do I think about how much I love my children when they’re in bed asleep more than I do when they are awake and running amuck?  Well, because they are running amuck, I suppose.  After I put the three little people to bed last night, dad and I discussed in length about chasing after God through worship, which has nothing to do with this post, really.  So, AFTER dad and I had our little Jesus talk, he went home, and I went to bed and thought about what I’m doing to fulfill my mission for my family:  raising my children to be fully devoted followers of Christ.  I try to be very intentional in talking with my children about who God is in their life.  They ask a lot of questions now about the things of God. 

Especially, Anna.  Of course, she asks a lot of questions about everything and is generally disappointed in my lack of knowledge on the snake species.  She has also requested a “snake party” for her birthday.  John Henry told her if she has snakes at her party, then he isn’t coming.  She responded with, “Well, I won’t invite you, then.”  Fair enough.  She’s also asked for camouflage apparel for deer hunting season.  The vogue in me shouts, “Stop this madness!”  I blame Kris.  He is not exactly burning holes on the fashion runways. 

Questions.  So, Anna asked, “Okay, there is the Holy Spirit….and who are the other two?”  I’ve decided to let dad explain the trinity to her.  Because, I failed miserably in trying to explain it to my husband. 

I look to other lovers of Jesus to partner with me in raising my children to become devoted followers of Christ.  And, I look to Mrs. Darlene, her Sunday School teacher, to work out the kinks in her response to learning that Esther was a queen:  “I don’t like princesses.  Not Ariel.  Not any of them.” 

This is why the body of Christ is so important.  I really wouldn’t want to do life without them.  And, fulfilling my family mission would be a lot harder to do alone.  So, I work hard to make sure my kids don’t miss a Sunday at church.  And, I work hard to make sure I don’t miss out on life experiences to disciple them. 

It takes a village, people.

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August 9, 2010 · 5:00 am

It’s For Them, Too.

Jett looks like he is wondering what kind of family he’s been placed into. 

A fun one.

Seriously. 

We are all pretty hysterical.  Or, at least, that’s the world we choose to believe we live in.

I love these children.  “Well of course, you do.  You’re their mother!”  I worry about these children.  I question my parenting.  I get on my knees and seek God for their lives.  I remind myself that if I could meet their every need, they wouldn’t need a Savior. 

But, when I read scripture, I honestly forget about it applying to my children’s lives.  Is that crazy or what?

“I will never leave you or forsake you…”  (Heb. 13:5) That’s for my kids.

“I will supply your every need….” (Phil.4:19)  That’s for them, too.

“My help comes from the Lord…” (Psalm 121.2)  For them.

“You are my Portion….” (Psalm 119) Forrrrr them.

I could go on and on.  And on.  I can’t meet their every need.  But God can.  And, He wants to. 

But, I can teach them to seek first His Kingdom, so all of those things can be given to them.  I can teach them to put on the full of armor of God so they can stand up to anything.  I can teach them to chase after God’s will more than their own.  I can teach them to love God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

It’s in HIM and through HIM that they will have EVERYTHING they need.  They will never lack.  Because, THEY serve the Creator of the universe.

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January 27, 2009 · 6:00 am

One of the many reasons I love being Anna’s Mommy.


Me:  “Anna, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Anna:  “Lots of good stuff.”

She just makes me smile.

Again.

And, again.

If I play my cards right….well, if I do what scripture tells me to do as her mommy, she just might grow up to be and do lots of good stuff.

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.  Proverbs 22:6

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November 10, 2008 · 6:00 am

I just have to know.


Do you teach your children to say “Yes Ma’am” and “No Sir?” 

Kris and I are strong believers in our children responding to adults in this manner.  I’m learning rather quickly that this form of respect that I grew up practicing is not shared by all other parents.

One mom told me after hearing me correct John Henry on “Yes Ma’am” that such manners were a southern practice.  Are they really?  As a matter of fact, most of the students in John Henry’s class use a simple “Yes” and “No” when responding to their teacher…..most, save John Henry.

I feel that when my children use good manners, they not only exhibit courtesy to others, but they also become aware of their own behavior. 

“Excuse me.”  They have been taught to say this to adults as well as their peers.  It is important that they learn to respect other human beings.

“May I be excused?”  My children never get down from the table without first asking this question.  EVER.

So, am I trying to practice a lost art or are such manners central to various parts of the country?

I just have to know.

What do you teach your children?

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.  If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.”  – Emily Post

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