Tag Archives: disappointment

What Do You Do With Your Loss?

First of all, I can hardly believe Danny Gokey is no longer a contender to be the next American Idol.  How-EVAH, it is certain that he will find success.  And, I guarantee that he will bring glory to God.  How do I know this? 

Because, he has already endured a much greater loss – losing his wife to complications from a surgery four weeks before he auditioned for Idol last year. 

Urged by his wife’s prodding, he not only went on to audition for Idol, but he also set up a foundation in his wife’s name which provides musical instruments to children.  My friend, Cindy Beall, would call this “turning his loss into a contribution.”

Danny’s favorite quote?  “Unshakable faith is faith that has been shaken.”

Some people become bitter.  Others become better.

I think we know which one Danny will become.

How do you handle loss?

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Filed under disappointment, life, making an impact, Say What?

What Are The Odds?

The 50 to 1 odds for Mind That Bird to win the Kentucky Derby have certainly not been over-looked in the past few days.  Wow.  What an incredible under-dog (or horse) story.  These kinds of odds remind me of how often we want God decrease the odds in our own life.

But, that’s not usually how God works.

In the book, In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day, Mark Batterson addresses this very thing.  Take the story of Gideon, for example.  Gideon started out with thirty-two thousand men, and they were still outnumbered by the Midianites.  They were the underdogs with thirty-two thousand!  But, God tells Gideon he has too many men.  And, He orders Gideon to let go of the scaredy-cats.  Apparently, he had a lot of scaredy-cats, because two-thirds of them went home to momma.

Still too many men, God told him.

If I were Gideon, I’d be like, “Do wha?”

So after a drinking contest.  Wait.  No.  After Gideon discharges his men that drink water like dogs (per God’s instruction), he gets down to a measly three-hundred.

300.

Talk about pretty stinky odds.

But, ya know what?  Israel wins.  Midianites lose.

So, why did God not decrease their odds?  Actually, why did he INCREASE them? 

Simple.  Because, He wants all of the glory.  ALL of it.

Judges 7:2 says “The Lord said to Gideon, “You have too many warriors with you. If I let all of you fight the Midianites, the Israelites will boast to me that they saved themselves by their own strength.”

Mark  Batterson writes:

“Maybe that is why God sometimes invites us to defy impossible odds.  Maybe it is one way He can show His omnipotence.  Maybe God allows the odds to be stacked against us so He can reveal more of His glory……..

Too often our prayers revolved around asking God to reduce the odds in our lives.  We want everything in our favor.  But maybe God wants to stack the odds against us so we can experience a miracle of divine proportions.  Maybe faith is trusting God no matter how impossible the odds are.  Maybe our impossible situations are opportunities to experience a new dimension of God’s glory.”

If the odds are stacked against you today, do not lose heart.  Remember Who is in control.  And, remember, He not only wants, but deserves all of the glory for your victory.

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Filed under disappointment, God Stuff

We Won’t Always Understand.


I recently read this by Beth Moore and it ministered to me in such a big way.

“Life isn’t without some divine decisions that our mortal minds simply cannot comprehend.  At times, we cannot imagine why God couldn’t have just given us what we asked.  Sometimes our frustration lies in the fact that we know He could have, that He certainly had the power, but in His divine wisdom, He chose not to.  Hear this with your heart: God knows we can’t think like Him.  His ways and His thoughts simply are not ours (Isa. 55:8-9).  Sometimes the very essence of faith is trusting God in the midst of things He knows good and well we cannot comprehend.  Not that we won’t, but at times we literally cannot.”

I’m pretty dang sure God can move on my behalf any time He jolly well pleases.  So, I sometimes wonder why He doesn’t.  Why doesn’t He just say, “Yes?”

I can best relate this to growing up under my parents.  There were times they would not allow me to go off with friends.  “Oh, my life is ruined!”  Or, so I would think.

There were times they would not let me date some cutie pie.  “But, I’m in love!”  Or, so I would think.

I could go on and on and on with my disappointments from childhood.  (Just kiddin’, Mom.  Sort of.)  But, my parents loved me so much, that they refused to give me everything I wanted. 

Their thoughts were higher than my thoughts.  And, although I did not understand why, the decisions they made were the best decisions for me.  Because, they loved me.

I can see it in my own children.  “Why can’t I climb this fence, Mom?”  My Anna will ask.  “Because, you will get hurt,” I try my darndest to explain.  “I won’t!  I promise!”

She doesn’t understand why I tell her no.  She doesn’t comprehend that I love her so much that I will even upset her in the short run, so she can experience a more abundant life in the long run.

You might be waiting for God to move on your behalf right now.  You may not understand what in the Sam Hill is taking Him so long.  But know He loves you oh so very much.  His thoughts are higher than your thoughts. 

And, finally, remember this:

Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.  Psalm 30:5

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Filed under disappointment, God Stuff, parenting

Across the Atlantic – Part Two


“The days after were a blur,” Andrew recalls.  He spent the next several days communicating with the police on the accident.  Next, making plans for his family’s funeral became his main focus.  He wanted it to be perfect and everything they would have wanted.  He said, “It made me feel I was in control of something, because everything else was out of my control.”

Eight of his friends helped Andrew organize, rotated on staying with him – even for his 3:00AM daily walks.   While making preparations for the funeral, one of his friends visited the local flower shop.  When the florist inquired on what he wanted, his response was, “I don’t know.  I am a man.  But, I want it like Elton John.  I want (insert your own explicative here) flowers everywhere!”

Andrew still laughs about that.  He said during that time, he had never cried more.  But, there were also times, he had never laughed as much.  I believe that laughter is a part of God’s grace.  It helps you push through to the next day – and sometimes, just to the next hour.

The day of the funeral came, and Andrew said, “It was perfect.”  Stacey, Joshua, and Georgia were all three buried together in the same casket – a request Andrew had to get special permission for.  He decided it would be best if he spoke at their funeral.  “I wanted to let people know to not take anything for granted.”

“The detail that was achieved was breathtaking.  When the casket was lowered, I threw rose petals onto the casket, as I did not want the sound of dirt hitting it.  Then, three doves were released at the same time.”

Is it just me?  Or, are you sitting back right now in your comfy chair trying to soak all of this in?  Most of us probably don’t want to go there in our minds.  It’s just too much.  And, there is so much, still, that I take for granted.

You can only imagine the added grief the holidays brought for Andrew.  And, when I think about how one manages to get out of bed the next day, I cannot help but think of the grace of God. 

How often we say, “I can’t imagine….”  And, we can’t.  But, I do know that God gives His grace to us as we need it.  A grief-stricken father has been given more grace than another.  That’s why scripture says, “His grace is sufficient.”  A mother who loses her child has a different measure of grace than a mother who has never experienced such loss.  He gives us the measure of grace we need – as we need it. 

Pictured below are Stacey, Joshua & Georgia Gitsham.

gitsham

To be continued…

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Filed under disappointment, life, Love

Falling Short.

If you are a fan of horse racing like my mom, then you probably experienced disappointment on Saturday when Big Brown failed in his bid to become the first Triple Crown winner in 30 years.  I imagine that no one was as disappointed as the owner, trainer, and rider at the Belmont Stakes.  Although, one trainer, Nick Zito, was quoted as saying, “Things happen for a reason.”

Do things really happen for a reason?  Sometimes.  But, sometimes, falling short is just a part of the human experience.

It is never easy when we miss the mark.  Or, comforting your son or daughter when their team loses a championship game.  Or, in our case, when I beat John Henry in Uno, and he looks at me like I’ve just destroyed his day.  There are occasions where he wins, but I generally play him straight up.  Sound harsh?  Okay, it’s only harsh when I chant to the tune of a Queen favorite, “I am the champion, my friend.”  And, I don’t do that every time.  Back to the topic at hand.

Fact is, if you haven’t fallen short yet, chances are you will.  It’s a part of life.  The key is to give it all you’ve got.  And, we learn more from our failures than we do our successes.  We all know that.  They are not nearly as fun, but they build character – the good kind. 

And, although Big Brown didn’t take the Triple Crown, he did win two others.  So, even if he never runs again, he will have finished well. 

So, play hard – even when you fall short.  Then, like Paul, you can say, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.”  2 Timothy 4:7

What else is there?

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Filed under disappointment, Spiritual Journey

Hope does not disappoint.


Last night was special.  I was with some of my closest friends.  As I looked around the room, I took notice of every single friend.  I thought to myself, in amazement, what each one has endured – and, how each one was still standing.

For all of us girls, it’s been about real covenant friendship.  A kind of “no matter what” friendship.  A friendship where we have grown together in Him.  A friendship based on that very foundation. 

We have rejoiced with one another.  We have cried with one another. 

None of us have been immune to disappointments. 

Some of us were widowed in our twenties and thirties.

Some of us were left to parent alone.

Some of us have experienced broken hearts and shattered dreams.

Some of us have lost a child.

We know pain.  We know disappointment.

But, we also know this:

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment.  Romans 5:3-5

Knowing this doesn’t magically obliterate pain or erase the past.  But it does let us embrace how much Jesus loves us and how much we love each other. 

Because, hope does not disappoint.  And, we will never stop hoping.

That Romans 5 scripture has carried me through a lot of disappointments.  Do you have a special scripture that carries you through yours?

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Filed under Spiritual Journey

So you had a bad day.


Let me be candid with you.  Sometimes I worry (as already established) that someone will blow my cover and everyone will know that I have days where I fall short, and I’m a far cry from a Christ-follower.  The cat will be out of the bag when you find out that sometimes I say the right things….you know, the faith things; then, I go home only to find that I’m trying to make myself believe those things.  I have days where I let stress affect me as a mom.   I have days where I struggle to “keep on the sunny side of life.”  Yesterday was one of those days.  Let’s run through the list of my thoughts and struggles yesterday.

·         My youngins know my buttons, and they pushed them.

·         I was disappointed….really disappointed. (Not with any person – but with circumstances.)

·         You know the whole “one with the spouse” thing? I was bearing some of my husband’s burdens.

·         The steps I have most recently taken have been ordered by the Lord….and I questioned them.

Pray.  Well, I did already.  I just didn’t pray with the usual fervor and faith with which I usually pray. 

So, I had a bad day.

Then, it happened.  I got into my car and one of my favorite songs was playing.  Suddenly I remembered the times in my life that were dark and He gave them light.  And, the disappointments began to fade.  Why? Because, I was reminded that no matter what – and as I have said before – no matter how messy life gets, God is good.  He is. 

So, I thought maybe these lyrics may minister to you….in case you have a bad day. 

How Can I Keep From Singing by Chris Tomlin

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You’ll see me through
And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing ’cause You pick me up
Sing ’cause You’re there
I can sing ’cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I’ll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

So, at the end of the day, how can I keep from singing?

Jesus said, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33

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