Category Archives: life

June 15, 2011 · 5:00 am

Loving Hurt.

I’ve always heard and maintained the philosophy that sometimes you’ve gotta play hurt.  In other words, sometimes, you’ve got to play and give and serve even when you don’t feel like playing and giving and serving.  But, quite frankly, we usually WANT to play even though we are hurt.  Most athletes will continue to play their game hurt, because they are passionate about that game.  So, it’s not really that much of a sacrifice.  I mean, I’m no athlete, but I do have some pretty awesome running apparel that I wear to carpool little people. 

The real sacrifice comes in loving hurt. 

Kris is my safe place.  He is the one who understands when I don’t feel like giving or serving.  He’s the one who loves me no matter what.  That being said, it’s pretty dang easy to bow out on serving him when I’m physically or mentally exhausted or hurting.  Besides, he understands.

And, with my recent back injury, I was little good to anyone, and Kris served me without a single complaint.  He’s good like that.  He’s compassionate and understanding.  He does, however, fail to understand how accessories really do make the wardrobe.  I know, right?

But, it hit me a few days ago.

Sometimes, you’ve got to love hurt. 

I’m not just talking about loving in spite of the proverbial headache.  Well, sort of, I am.  I am talking about stepping outside of yourself. 

Outside off your physical pain. 

Outside of your emotional pain. 

Outside of your exhaustion. 

Outside of your broken heart.  

Outside of your stuff.   

And, choosing to love hurt. 

I was really tired the other night.  (It’s okay.  You can keep reading.  This doesn’t get graphic.  This is a family blog.)  I had the worst headache of all the headaches in the world.  (And, I never exaggerate.)   I looked at my husband lying beside me and this little revelation hit me:  love hurt.  So, I rubbed his back….  And, we will just leave it at that, friends.   

At that moment, I sure would have loved to fall asleep watching House Hunters and nurse my headache.  But, I knew I needed to choose him this time.  I knew I needed to love hurt. 

You see, often, the person we love the most is the person we serve the least. 

For me, it was my physical pain keeping me from loving hurt.  For you, it might be a different kind of hurt.  Loving hurt for you may look like having to forgive while hurt.  It might be loving even though your feelings are hurt.  Loving even though you are disappointed.  Loving even though you are mentally exhausted and feel like you just can’t take any more. 

Loving even though….

Because, when we do love hurt, that love never returns void.  It is never without effect.

Because, love never, ever fails. 

And, that is one certainty I know with all of my heart.

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February 2, 2011 · 5:00 am

The NCML Project – Day One.

How did y’all do with the NCML Project yesterday?  I had already failed twice before my breakfast had digested. 

Me:  “Gah!  I hate pop-ups on the internet!”

Kris:  “Sooo, are you complaining?”

Busted.

The morning progresses, and I talk to my mom on the phone.   I might complain a little, and I might say something like, “I might just quit (I ain’t tellin’ y’all this part.)  My momma later sends me this text:

“God said to not let the word ‘quit’ go through your head.  You are where He wants you.  And, you need to read my friend’s blog today at dustytakle.com.”

She also added, “I love you” at the end to try to lessen the sting, I’m sure.

Complaining is a really bad habit.  And, apparently, I complain A LOT.  We don’t think we are complaining.  But, a mere sigh of exasperation is a complaint, ya know?  This NCML Project isn’t going to be easy.  And, Kris Takle LOVES making me accountable for it.  But, I’m not quitting.  It takes 30 days to form a habit, right?  Is it still 30 days?  I don’t know.  Anyhoo, I’m going to keep it up until the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart is pleasing to my Creator.  Amen.

Another good way to overcome complaining?  To focus on the blessings and gifts in your life.  I mean, how could anyone complain when they get to witness moments like this on any given day?

A sweet, little, punkin boy (with his four-legged buddy) watching his daddy clean up a Little Tikes car that has stood the test of time. 

Let’s focus on our blessings today.  Maybe, that’ll help?

And, don’t worry, I’m not going to be titling every post The NCML Project Day Whatever.  That would be torture.  Not that you’d complain about it or anything.

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January 24, 2011 · 9:54 am

Busy. Busy. Busy.

It’s Monday.  I know what you’re thinking.  Busy week ahead!

Someone will ask you today, “How have you been?”

You will answer, “You know, just busy, busy!”

Kris and I recently had this discussion about how often we answer people with, “Man, busy burning holes in the skies.”  (Okay, he answers that way, I don’t.)  I answer, “Just staying busy with three kids!”

We talked about how socially acceptable it is to make sure people know you’re busy.   Kris commented, “You never hear anyone respond, ‘Man, I’ve got too much money and too many friends!’ or ‘I’m resting and taking it easy every chance I get!’”  It’s also uncommon to hear, “Just trying to spend as much time as I can with the people in my life.”  Or, “Enjoying time with the Father and growing closer to Him!”

Instead, we say we’re busy.

Many of us are busy.  Too busy.  Others of us, me included, equate busy with things we should be embarrassed about.  Especially considering modern day conveniences.  Remember, my dishwasher washes my dishes, unlike Big Mama who uses her hands.  I know, right?  And, I have this really cool thing that I can throw my wet, clean clothes in and just walk away.  One hour later?  They are dry!

When I’m burnin’ slap up in my house, I turn on this little unit thingy that blows cold air!  Oh, and I don’t need to go chop wood.  I turn on a switch and voila! I have a fire! 

What is that John Henry?  You want to know how fast a Cheetah can run?  Well, let’s go to the local library and look it up!  Um, no.  Thank you, World Wide Web. 

Want to cook some eggs, Big Mama?  You don’t have to go the chicken coop any more.  Let me take you to Piggly Wiggly.  Although, your eggs from the chicken coop were much healthier, I am certain.

My Anna needs a new dress to wear.  Let me run to the market and pick up material, so I can get started making her one.  Or, I don’t leave my warm home, and I order not one, but three new dresses from OldNavy.com, and guess what?  They ship them to me! 

I really don’t know busy.  Not the kind of busy mothers knew generations before me.

I am spoiled. 

I wonder what Big Mama thinks when I say I’m busy?    

Oh, and a cheetah can run 70 miles an hour.  I know.  I just Googled it.

Okay.  Gotta run.  Busy day ahead.

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January 13, 2011 · 5:00 am

What If.

I’m gonna give it to ya straight.  I know I’ve blogged on this before, and I’m sure to blog on it again.  This is me.  In my head.  Driving my Yukon.  By myself.  Because, who helps one drive?  Stupid:  “by myself.”  But, I’m leavin’ it in this post.  ‘Cause I’m so see me, love me and all.  Rabbit trail, rabbit trail.

Back to inside my  head.  I’m drivin’ yesterday afternoon.  I’m thinking about how much Kris is gone lately.  He is a pilot.  Did y’all know that?  Those pilot people fly airplanes.  Away. 

Little fears start surfacing.

What if he is gone too much too often?  What if our marriage suffers?  What if my children suffer?  What if there is another snow day, and all of my kids are home ALL DAY AND NIGHT, and I’m the only parental reinforcement around? 

What if?

As fast as those thoughts went swirling around my head, another voice calmed my stormy mind.

“I will trust You.”

And, that was the next thought that dominated my little head.

When has He ever not proved Himself to me?

You may be allowing thoughts of fear consume your mind right now.  Worry.  Doubt. 

I can throw out the Matthew 6 scripture to you about not worrying about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself.  But, honestly, that scripture has never helped me with my worry one bit.

I’m just sayin’.

Sorry, Dad.

But, I can tell you that God makes good on His promises.  I can tell you that He has made good of my ugly finances.  He has made good of my messy relationships.  He has made good of those times where I distanced myself from Him.  He has made good of those moments where I failed as a mother.  He has made good of my disappointments.  He has made good of my broken heart. 

He has made so much in my life good. 

So, what if?

I will trust Him.

And, you, my friend, can trust Him, too.

If you would like for me to pray with you today about something that has you worried or an area of your life that you really need to trust God in, comment here or email me personally at durstee@aol.com  I will pray for you today.

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January 7, 2011 · 5:00 am

Soak It Up.

I have a lot of Big Mama stories.  As a matter of fact, every time I talk to her, she says something that bears repeating.  Her unintentional lessons are to my blog posts what Anna Takle’s…well, what any of Anna’s shenanigans are to my entries. 

I called her yesterday after I posted.  I didn’t tell her my post was about her.  She will find out soon enough by one of you.  And, she will tell me, “I heard you’ve been putting me up on that computer!”  She will laugh cautiously then ask me to show the post to her.

After our phone conversation, thoughts of her raced into my mind for the rest of the day.  Even into the night as I lay in bed rereading yesterday’s blog, my thoughts were of her.  How I love being with her and talking to her.  And, how I love repeating the things she says to me. 

I’m not sure how many more years I have to enjoy this incredible lady.  So, I started pondering questions I’ve never asked her.  Stories I’ve never heard.

I want to ask them.  I want to hear it all.  I don’t want to say, “I wish I would have asked her…..”

 Of course, she did recently ask me if she could have my “great big colorful painting” should she outlive me.  She was serious.  I told her yes. 

Who do you need to spend more time with in your life?  What questions do you want to ask him or her?  What stories do you want to hear? 

Maybe it’s the person lying next to you right now.  Maybe it’s that sweet little girl down the hall from you.  The friend who lives two miles from you that you only see or talk to a few times a year. 

Maybe it’s the father who shares a very different view of life from you, so you keep your distance from him.  Or the sister you’re not close to anymore.

I don’t know.  I just know I want to soak up the moments with the people in my life more now than ever.  So, if tomorrow never comes, they know.  Thank  you, Garth Brooks.

And, thank you all for being a part of my life. 

Have a great weekend.

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January 6, 2011 · 5:00 am

Big Mama: Solution-Finder, Anti-Whiner.

I’m not always a solution finder.  Oddly, I can offer solutions for your drama and obstacles.  Just not mine.  Not always.

When faced with seemingly difficult situations, I might be one to throw my hands up and say, “It just can’t be done.”  Or, “there is no other way around this one.” 

Then?

I get stressed.  And, I whine. 

Not Big Mama.   

She consistently inspires me with her ability to find solutions.  Stress-free.  With a “we can make this work” attitude. 

A few weeks ago, I asked her if she could watch my littlest man for an hour, so I could attend a meeting.  When she arrived to chase him with her walker, he was sleeping.

“Oh no,” she said.  “I wish he wasn’t sleeping.  I’m not sure I can carry him from his crib to the living room when he wakes up.”

I responded, “Big Mama, just call me when he wakes up, and I will come right home.”

She was silent.

Then, she said, “No.  We can do this.  Do you have a stroller?”

“Yes,” I told her.

“Well, alright.  Get that stroller, and put it outside his door.  I can pick him up out of that crib.  I’ll put him in his stroller, and push him right into the living room,” she said with confidence.

“Are you sure?”

“Hmph.  Of course, I’m sure!  Now, go on!”  She assured me. 

And, that’s exactly what she did.  All the while pushing her walker, too.

Since when did the rest of us start making everything so hard?  Since when did we start letting the little things overwhelm us?  How did we stop appreciating modern day conveniences that make life so easy….like a dang dishwasher?  My 91 year old grandmother has hand-washed her dishes since the day she started maintaining a home.  She’s never complained.  Or stressed.  Or thought life too hard.

Not one single day.

Perhaps, it’s because she comes from a generation where you make situations work for you.  You overcome obstacles.  And, you certainly don’t whine about them.  Perhaps, it’s because if she wanted candy as a young girl, she traded eggs for it instead of being given money to buy it.  Perhaps, it’s because she recognizes the small stuff as small stuff and doesn’t sweat it.

I think all of the above.

But, I also know that she has understanding of this scripture:

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:13

And, she really believes she can.

May I grow up and be just like Big Mama.

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November 15, 2010 · 8:38 am

Thankful Today.

Today, I wake up, and I’m just thankful.  Brushing Anna’s hair this morning, I think, “I get to brush this little girl’s hair.”  God gave this funny, beautiful girl, who never turns down center stage, to me.

 I look at John Henry who is protecting his bowl of cereal like it is last and think, “How am I so blessed that he lives in the same house with me?” 

And, then the littlest guy decides today is the day he finally recognizes daylight savings time change, and he sleeps until 8:00am.  I think, “Is he the most perfect baby boy in the universe?”  In my little world, in my family of five plus a dog and a cat, he is.

I notice how my husband makes the coffee.  He reads the big kids today’s school lunch menu, and he, subsequently, makes John Henry his own lunch to carry.  Food is a big deal to this kid, if you didn’t already notice this by the invisible fort he built around his morning breakfast.  And, I think, “I am married to man who never, ever complains about anything.  Ever.” 

I pour my coffee, and I think about how I walk into my local church, and how much love I feel from everyone there.  I think, “Do I have the most incredible church family in the world?”  I do.

And, then I think about my salvation.  I don’t even use the word, “salvation” a lot.  Is that odd?  Perhaps.  But, I think about it today.  I think, “Wow.  God gave me this gift of grace, and look what I have received by way of it.”  I don’t ever want to lose the joy of my salvation. 

So, here I sit behind this computer, and I write a post on a subject I think would be more fitting for next week.  A Thanksgiving post, if you will.  But, I’m thankful today. 

Let’s face it.  Some days, we just notice things more than others.  It makes us thankful.

Today is one of those days. 

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!  His faithful endures forever.  1 Chronicles 16:34

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November 8, 2010 · 11:22 am

Sweet November.

And, you are still the perfect shoulder to fall on.

Happy Birthday to my keep you laughing all the live long day husband and daughter.

Life without you two wouldn’t be nearly the fun.

I love you both.

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November 3, 2010 · 7:08 am

Listen To Your Donkey.

I think it’s funny how resistant I can be to learning from people I may not respect or agree with, at times.  Of course, God probably doesn’t view it as “funny.”  But He certainly must think I’m funny.  With all of my funny-ness and all.  And, it is most certain I think I am funnier than I truly am, yes? 

Learning from unlikely vessels.  We all can put up unteachable walls to these people.  Because, surely, we cannot learn from someone we don’t respect or like or view as less than?  Now, that’s humility.  Ahem. 

It’s definitely not a teachable spirit.

James 1:21 says, “So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has power to save your souls.” 

In other words, be teachable.  Accept the word, and be obedient to that word. 

But, we are often closed to learning from not only likely sources, but unlikely sources as well.  We close our spirit to anything new.  Perhaps, we fear something new may refute the old.  We fear we may be confronted with truth.  Or, we discount the teaching of people, because we don’t respect them.  When, we do this, when we put up these walls, we put God in a box. 

And, He won’t be put in a box.

Remember the story of Balaam in Numbers 22?  His donkey saw an angel of the Lord blocking their path, and he refused to go any further.  After three subsequent beatings by Balaam for his resistance, the donkey turned around and said, “Dude!  What have I done to deserve this beat down?”  Or something like that. 

Annndddd, Balaam responded to the donkey’s question.  As if a donkey talking to him was commonplace? 

Finally, the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes and he, too, saw the angel of the Lord standing there. 

The point is:  God can use anything or anyone as an instrument of His instruction. 

Humbling?  Of course, it can be.  It should be.  We need to be checked on making sure we have a correct estimation of ourselves.  And, to have a correct estimation of ourselves, we must have a correct estimation of God….who will not be put in a box. 

Be willing and eager to learn regardless of who He chooses as our unlikely teacher.  Listen to your donkey.  Don’t beat the crap out of him.  There is always a lesson.  For real.

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August 19, 2010 · 7:06 am

Am I A Black Person?

John Henry checked out a book from the library called “Ron’s Big Mission.”   Before he began to read the book aloud to me, I was not quite prepared to have a discussion on America’s past history of segregation.  But, it was time.  I am sure.

The book is based on the true story of Ron McNair who, as a child, was an avid reader and loved to read books about airplanes.  Growing up in South Carolina in the 50’s and 60’s was not exactly easy for any black child.  Especially a black boy who simply wanted to check out books from his local whites only public library. 

Until one day, Ron decided he wasn’t leaving the library until he was a card holder.  His mother was called, police officers showed up, and Ron stood his ground still.  As a result, Ron changed a piece of history and became the first black person to check out books from that library.

Talk about a lion chaser.

John Henry, of course, asked a lot of questions.  A lot of surprising questions.

“Am I a black person?” he asked. 

“No, baby, you are a white person.”

At this point in the conversation, I realized he had never identified people belonging to different races.  So, I asked him what he thought when he saw someone with dark skin. 

“I just thought their skin was darker.  That is all.  I kind of have dark skin, so I am really kind of white and black.”  He told me. 

“Sure.  You are white and black,” I assured him. 

I was not about to disappoint him.  I taught him about the days of segregation.  I explained where we were as a nation during those times and where we are now.  Honestly, it was a difficult, but necessary conversation. 

We then read a little more on the life of Ron McNair.  This 9-year old hero grew up to be an even greater American hero.  This little boy who loved airplanes became a pilot.  And, on January 28, 1986, he lost his life as an astronaut during the launch of the Space Shuttle Challenger.

I hope John Henry not only learned something about the significance of civil rights.  I also hope he learned about what it means to stand up for something he believes in.  And, what it really means to be a lion chaser.


Ron McNair
October 21, 1950 – January 28, 1986

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