Category Archives: Love

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall.

I love how the morning my article on relationships is published in The Grip and the morning after I attend a relationship class, I have a rather heated encounter with my husband.  And, I don’t mean the physical touch, love language kind of encounter.  I’m talking about the let’s find every wrong way to communicate to your spouse kind of encounter. 

It all started with this question:  “Is the bug man here?”  And, yes, by bug man I mean exterminator.  We are a sophisticated bunch in the Takle household. 

No need in spilling every pitiful detail of how I thought Kris responded to my inquiry.  Orrrr, how I received his answer.  But, it would be later in the evening before we would resolve our marital dilemma.

Joey Grubbs, our relationship guru, had shared only the night before how we need to look in the mirror when we find ourselves dealing with issues in our relationships.  I don’t think he meant for me to say, I don’t know, “Kris, Joey says you need to look in the mirror!”  I mean, I don’t think he said that.  I certainly wouldn’t have translated it that way….on a normal, non-hormonal kind of day. 

Once I invited God into my day, I finally looked in the mirror for myself.  What is it in me that made me receive Kris’ answer the way I received it?  Why was I so offended?  Later, Kris and I were able to sit down and talk about the unfortunate dialogue of that morning.  I was able to share how I knew my response just wasn’t a good one.  I was also able to share what I need from him in those situations.  And, he was able to receive it.

I’ve always been quite the self-assessor.  But, I’m learning the importance even more of looking at myself in the mirror.  And, asking simple questions like, “What is it in me that makes me feel or react a certain way?”  Actually, I need to look in the mirror for ALL of my relationships.  Once I do, I must line up those things that aren’t right with God’s Word.  Because, His Word is the best litmus test for how we are responding to and receiving from others. 

So, here’s to the confessions of a writer on relationships. 

I’m still growing.  And, from the looks of that girl staring back at me in the mirror, I have a lot more growing to do. 

Thankful for a patient husband.  And, an even more patient Father.

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Filed under Love, Marriage, Relationships

Do Everthing Without This.

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.  Luke 6:45

What I say flows from what is in my heart.  Sometimes, the awareness of this hurts my feelings.  I like to think I am that good person mentioned in Luke above.  But, there are times when it is evident from the words I let fall from my lips that my heart needs a serious cleansing. 

Such words that break other people down or judgmental words are obvious checks into our heart.  But, there are other words that may seem less obvious that our heart needs an adjustment.   

Like what?  I’m glad you asked!  Like COMPLAINING WORDS. 

I’m guilty of some occasional complaining.  I might complain about my to-do list.  I might complain about the weather.  I might complain to husband about his entire pilot gear unpacked on my kitchen counter.  I might complain about a lot of things.  Scripture tells us that complaining offends the heart of God.  Yikes!

How often do I offend God’s heart? 

How often do you? 

I’m pretty sure when Paul wrote in Philippians to do everything without complaining or arguing, he meant EVERYTHING. 

There really is no way of getting out of this one. 

So, starting today, I’m going to try to go 28 days without complaining about a SINGLE thing.  I would like for you all to join me in this No Complaining in the Month of Love project, also known as the NCML Project.  I just made that up.  I’m going with it. 

And, you’re welcome, Kris Takle.

Feel free to hold me accountable.  Just don’t get upset if I complain about you calling me out.

Who’s in?

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Filed under God Stuff, Love

Some Greek to Help With Peeps.

Soooo, how DO we respond to people who hurt us? 

We are patient with them.

Wha?  Patient?  What in the Sam Hill does patience have to do with it? 

Well, I’m glad you asked.  Two Greek words translate into the English word “patience.”  One is “hupomone.”  It means to “remain under.”  This is the patience we talk about when we are enduring tough circumstances.  But, circumstances are not people.  Oh, no. 

The Greek word, “makrothumia” is the sort of patience we need with people.  Bear with me.  Or, be PATIENT with me.  Ha!

Guess what drives makrothumia?  Give up?

MERCY.

Remember yesterday’s story of the king forgiving the servant’s debt?  He FORGAVE that debt.

Again, stay with me.

So, we first have to FORGIVE.

My good friend, Beth Moore, says,   “Patience is the vessel through which God pours His mercy.  Mercy is fueled by forgiveness.”

Okay, let’s just pretend Beth is my good friend. 

When we forgive, we let go free.  We let go of our power.  We cut that person loose.  They no longer owe us a thing.

Sometimes, I think that I have a right to hold this grudge or be angry….and, every right to be merciless.  But, God’s word calls us to forgive.  Who wants to carry the burden of unforgiveness?  The plus side?   When we forgive, God can be released to work the situation to our good.  And, don’t even think you can do it on your own.  You can’t.  That’s what the HS is for. 

Besides, the opposite of patience is judgment.  But, that’s another post for another day.

You see, the patience God desires for us to extend to others is the same patience that meant the salvation of our soul.

That’s all I’m sayin’. 

And, I hope I am CONSTANTLY reminded of this kind of patience….this kind of mercy….this kind of forgiveness…..

Until I love people CONSTANTLY.

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Filed under God Stuff, Love, Relationships, Spiritual Journey

I’m A New Wife! Again!

I’ve never really considered myself the nagging wife. 

Until, I recently realized I had become a nagging wife.

What?  Me?  Yes!  Me!

I’m married to a pilot man.  You know this.  I started noticing that when he was out and about burning holes in the skies, I missed him.  I didn’t miss what he does for me while he’s here.  Just the person, Kris Takle.  My husband.  A sweet kind of miss.  The kind where you send the sweetest text messages and say the sweetest things on the phone. 

Well, this doesn’t sound like nagging.  Of course, it doesn’t. 

Enter nagging.

Pilot man comes home.  I forget how much I missed him and focus on his flight bag on our bedroom floor.  Unpacked.  Then, I notice how we need to spruce up our landscaping.  And, I notice that he doesn’t notice this.  And, his laptop on my kitchen counter?  Really? 

Pick.  Pick.  Pick. 

I fail to notice a husband who tells me how beautiful I am.  I fail to notice a man who desires me, encourages me, and builds me up.

Why?  Because, I’m so focused on what he’s not doing, I am blurring everything good out.

I recognize this in myself.  I hate this in myself.  I hate that I am doing this to the man I love.  To the man who loves me.  So, I tell him.  We talk it out.  And, make a commitment to stop.

Stop the nagging.  Stop the complaining.  Stop noticing what he doesn’t do or see.

So, what if it takes me an extra twenty minutes a day to clean up a little more after him?  What’s twenty minutes?  Or, what if I just resolve that his laptop on the kitchen counter is okay?  And, his unpacked bag can wait? 

What if?

My marriage will be better, because, I’m not selling out to small foxes.  And, that sweet miss for him when he is gone will be even sweeter when he returns home. 

I will be happier.  He will be happier.  And, our love will stay sweeter. 

I’m not exactly sure how this pattern of behavior began for me.  But, I am definitely sure that it needed to end.  Because, I am blessed.  And, I LOVE that man.

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Put Yo Coat On!

I’m reading through the book of Colossians this week.  In the following passage, Paul encourages us to “clothe ourselves” in these God qualities:

 12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.  16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.  17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.  Colossians 3:12-17

If you leave your house without putting on this coat of mercy, kindness, humility, et cetera, et cetera, you leave your house naked.  (Pronounced “nekked.”) 

Since every member of my little family has appointed himself or herself “The Accountability Authority,” it is impossible to get away with taking off this coat.  So, when we behave or respond in a manner that fails to demonstrate those above God qualities, we simply tell, okay yell, “You bettah put yo coat on!” 

It usually diffuses whatever is causing the nakedness and keeps us accountable to clothe ourselves in these qualities that, let’s face it, make us better people. 

Mercy.  Kindness.  Humility.  Gentleness.  Patience.  Forgiveness.  Love.  Peace.  These really make life better and so much easier. 

So, before you go out around people today, put yo coat on!

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Filed under God Stuff, Love, Relationships, Spiritual Journey

A Cloak of Love.

I love the 1 Corinthians 13 definition of love.  I even hung that jewel of a scripture on my bathroom wall.  I mean, who doesn’t love those verses?  It’s one of the most read aloud chapters outside local church walls. 

I recently studied 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  I broke it down, brothas and sistas.  But, verse 7, “It always protects…” hit me hardest.  Get this:

The Greek word for protects is “stego.”  It means “to cover over in silence.”  Impressed?  Don’t be.  I looked it up.  Now raise your hand if you think of physical protection when you read “protects?”  As if my one-hundred and ahem pound body could really save you from physical harm – even though I love ya.

But it literally means that we cover an individual with such a cloak of love that no one can see his or her faults.  Isn’t that beautiful?

So, love doesn’t expose the faults of others.  Wanna know the easiest way to not expose faults?  Don’t look for them.  If it’s easy for me to notice a fault, then it’s easy for me to expose that fault.

Don’t.  Shut yo eyes and choose grace instead.

It’s not love.  No matter how you try to shake it.  M’kay?

My apologies if I stepped on any toes.  I pretty much broke all of mine. 

But, it changed the way I view love.  And, more importantly, it changed the way I love.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  8 Love never fails.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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Filed under Love, Relationships, Virtue

Wonder What He Thinks?

I drove up to the school entrance like I do most every morning.  I prayed over my big kids and gave them my usual, “Be the light of Jesus” instruction.  They always laugh when I say this.  I do say it in a very funny voice.  Well, funny to little ears, anyway.  They exited the car with their backpacks in tow, and I pulled away with tears streaming. 

I was overwhelmed with the thought of how much I love John Henry and Anna.  I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I love them.  All the way back home. 

Pulling into my driveway, I felt God say, “I think about how much I love you, too.”

At that moment, I became overwhelmed with the thought of how much He loves me.

He not only loves you.  He thinks about how much He loves you.

And, with the knowledge of that love for us, how can we not trust Him with our lives?  How can we not trust in His faithfulness?  1 John 4:16 says, “We know how much God loves us, and we have to put our trust in His love.” 

How do we respond to that kind of love?

We love Him right back.  We love His word.  We love His presence.  We love His people. 

I want to be as obsessed with Him as He is with me.  My dad reminded me yesterday, “If He can put His body on a cross, I can put my heart and soul there.” 

May I be mindful daily to do just that. 

And, may I never stop being overwhelmed by how relentless He truly is.

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Filed under God Stuff, Love, Motherhood

Seven!

Seven of the Gazillion Reasons Kris Takle Is Fun to Love

ONE – He always tells me when he falls, almost falls, or bumps his head, because he knows I’ll laugh until I cry. 

TWO – He encourages me.  He makes me feel like a good writer, a good mother, a good wife, a good friend.  And his encouragement makes me want to be better at those things.

THREE – He responds with a “What can I do to make this better?” whenever I share something that is bothering me.  He is quite the great responder guy.

FOUR – He is a fierce protector.  Don’t mess with me yo, ‘cuz my man will break you.  (I don’t watch Jersey Shore, although this one just made me sound like I do.)

FIVE – His Taklisms are priceless.  Here are a few:

                Take the world by the horns.
                I’m as happy as a kite.  (He defends this one by asking if I’ve ever seen a 
                   sad kite.)
                I haven’t been feeling on top of the weather, (as opposed to being under
                  the weather.)

Y’all have no idea how I could on and on with these.  NO.  IDEA.

SIX – Whenever he plays with our children, he is louder than they are.  He makes this house fun.  Of course, my quick humor makes it pretty dang fun, too.  Just thought I’d prop myself up on that one.  Because FUN is my middle name. 

It’s not really.  Dusty Fun would have sounded odd.

SEVEN  – He never flies a trip where he doesn’t send me a text message that looks like this: 

I miss you 😦

I miss YOU, Kris Takle.  I wish you were here to celebrate with me, but you are out providing for our family, ‘cause momma’s gotta eat. 

You bless me daily.  And, I love you even more today than I did seven years ago. 

Happy Anniversary.  My world is sweeter because of you.

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Filed under Love, Marriage

Ice Storm Turns Snow Storm Turns I’m Not Sure What.

Well, it’s not like we weren’t warned or anything.  The great Oklahoma weather people told us an ice storm was a comin’ followed by a whole bunch of snow.  Kris headed out early Thursday morning to buy a generator.  It went unneeded.   But, we were ready.  Yes. We. Were.

See?  We had all of the Winter Storm One-Oh survival essentials.

Kids had a blast.  Of course.

Brew joined in on the fun, too. 

So did Dad.

Who built a fire.

That kept me outside an extra minute and a half.

By day three, we were getting creative with our indoor activities.

And, today?  My kitchen still looks like this.

We all really enjoyed being snowed in.  However, I’ve determined three days are plenty.  Four begins to push the limits.  Or, perhaps, just the limits of a girl growing a person.  But, the occasional forcing of a family to slow down is not a bad thing.

It reminds me how much I love my family.

 I love hearing my kids play together.  I love hearing Kris tell them to stop running in the house and Anna respond, “But, can we jog?”  I love hearing John Henry say something just to make me laugh and for no other reason. 

I love it that my husband buys a generator just in case.  I love it that he builds a fire anyway.  I love it that he takes such good care of us. 

And, I know that as much as my children’s earthly father takes care of them, they serve a heavenly Father who does so much more. 

Hard to imagine really.

But, I know it to be true.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19

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Filed under God Stuff, gratitude, Kid Stuff, Love, parenting, Relationships

Don’t Make Noise. Make A Difference.

Why yes, of course, I missed you.  Did you miss me?  Taking the last week of the year to spend solely with my family just seemed like the right thing to do.  I’m glad I did.  But, I did miss talkin’ to y’all.

There are plenty of photos from this season I could post, but this one is my favorite.  It’s Anna Takle, day one, at my parents’ house, in search of gifts that read her name.  One day, I’m going to miss little bodies under a Christmas tree, shaking their presents with smiles planted across their face.  It really is the most wonderful time of the year.

But, I’d like to experience many wonderful times of this new year.  I heard my dad recently share on how many of us make New Year’s resolutions to work out, eat less – even though, it profits us little.  However, resolving to pursue Christ above all else, love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind profits us much.  I’m letting that be my New Year’s resolution. 

So often, we focus on things that bother us.  We let those things take up more space than our love for God.  How wrong is that?  A couple of days ago, Mark Batterson posted this on Twitter:

“quit criticizing and start creating.   don’t focus on what’s wrong.   do something right.   don’t make noise.   make a difference.”

Wow.  That’s what it’s all about.  The only way we are ever going to get to that point is to stop being so dang negative and start loving God.  Really loving God.  And, pursuing Him as relentlessly as Anna pursued her gifts. 

I bet we might just discover a few gifts, too. 

That’s my resolution. 

Yours?

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