Category Archives: Motherhood

August 6, 2008 · 6:00 am

Make sure you wear clean underwear!


Today is my mom’s thirty-ninth birthday.  In honor of her birthday and motherhood, I thought I’d share how parallel our universes run. 

You know those things your mom said to you that you swore you’d never say to your children?  I pretty much say them all….and I haven’t even hit the teen years yet.  Here are just a few:

In or out!

You will get in trouble, but you will get into more trouble if you lie about it.  (Kind of like the Driving Miss Daisy shenanigans I tried to pull.  Blast.)

You can wipe your own.  (Oh wait, is that not so common?)

No snacks.  We’re about to have dinner.

Did you flush?

You are not allowed to roll your eyes.  (Note:  My parents only saw me roll my eyes once.  Once.)

When I tell you something, do not respond with “I know.”  Just say, “Yes ma’am.”

The latter is my recent struggle with my 5 ½ year old who remarkably already knows how to golf, play guitar, and do calculus. 

Things my mother didn’t say – but an idea of what goes on in our sweet home:

Do not pee on the dog.

Do not pee in John Henry’s suitcase.

If you take off your clothes, leave on your underwear.

Anna, please stop telling strangers you have a surprise for them and following up by removing your shoe and saying “Stinky shoe!!!!” 

Your turn.  What did your mother say to you that you say to your little darlings?  Or, what things have you said to your children you thought you’d never have to say?

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August 5, 2008 · 6:00 am

Motherhood just got easier.


I was looking back through some old writings and found this one.  I recorded this a year ago today.  It was a good reminder to chill out – and more importantly, remember to be grateful. 

As written August 5, 2007:

I won’t argue that being a mother is one of the toughest jobs in the world.  My days are filled with settling disputes between brother and sister, kissing boo-boos, reading books (and making sure I’m in character when doing so), and meeting my children’s basic daily needs.  All the while, it is my responsibility to make sure they learn the importance of kindness, acceptance of others, and why God should be at the very core of who they are as human beings.  Tough at times?  Yes.  Time-consuming?  Of course.  Nonetheless, such responsibilities could be greater.

 

On a usual play day at our neighborhood mall playground, I saw another mom who looked a lot like me….not in a physical sense, but just your usual run of the mill thirty-something mom.  While I watched my children climb to the top of the big baseball and jump off like super-hero wannabes, this mom participated in the play with her special needs daughter.  I’m not certain of the exact challenges that this little girl faces daily, but I do know that she could not talk or walk on her on.  So, I watched as this mother would pick up her little girl and hold her while she went down the slide that my children can climb up on their own (and usually the wrong way).  She continued to bounce her daughter into the air so she could experience the laws of nature that my children can experience all by themselves.  This mother made sure that her daughter had the best day she could possibly have.  The toughest part of my day was chasing after my two-year old who ran out of the Subway in the food court while I was paying for our food. 

 

One day my children will grow up and be on their own.  They will come and visit me and call me on Mother’s Day.  I will enjoy the luxuries of travel and whatever it is you do when your children leave home.  This mother will be caring for her daughter for the rest of her days on earth.  These are the mothers who deserve the standing o’s and hand claps.  So, the next time I’m wiping up the milk that my little girl intentionally poured on the floor, I will remember, “This is easy.” 

 

Let me leave you with this excerpt from “If I Had My Child To Raise All Over Again” by Diane Loomans:

 

If I had my child to raise all over again,

I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.

I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I’d do more hugging and less tugging.

 

I hope I will remember that’s the easy stuff.

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July 28, 2008 · 6:00 am

A day at the museum.


It’s been a pleasant 100 degrees here in Middle America.  It’s so hot, even the pool sounds treacherous.  I mean, it’s excruciating enough to wear a swimsuit at the pool.  So, Saturday, I decided to take the kids to Oklahoma’s own Science Museum – the Omniplex. 

To be perfectly honest, the only science I prefer is science-fiction – as in movies.  But, to escape the heat, break up the monotony of the day, and give my kids some sort of educational experience, I endured the world of science.

The best part about the experience was the 45 minute movie on the Grand Canyon in the Dome Theater.  Eight dollars bought us two sodas, two popcorns, a box of Junior Mints, and Strawberry Fruit snacks.  That would have totaled about $150 at the “real” movie theater.  The movie was narrated by Robert Redford and the music by Dave Matthews.  I haven’t watched a movie on the ceiling since I was a kid myself and nearly lost my meal replacement bar I snuck in a few times.  Holy head spinning, stomach turning Batman!  Anna just kept asking “Why we moving?”  Over and over and over again.

I think Anna enjoyed the face painting center most.

 

I’m thinking that the next time I spend a small fortune at the MAC counter (that’s make-up heaven for all you dudes reading), I’m going to explain it off to Kris as a science experiment.

I believe the black tape here is to prevent people from touching this display.  Hence, John Henry’s arms raised as if to say “Are you finished taking the picture already?” 

  

After three hours of me pretending to be oh so fascinated about science, we left.  I picked up my wailing three-year old who kept saying over and over again, “I want this to be my home.” 

If she thinks gravity is cool and wants to live at a science museum, I’m pretty sure I’m never taking her to Disney World.  Else, she’ll have to endure years of counseling that we refused to let Cinderella be her new mommy. 

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July 16, 2008 · 6:00 am

Good lessons and reminders from a conversation with John Henry.

·         When you are talking with someone, make eye contact.  Hold it.

·         Ask the other person questions about his/her self.  For example, I asked John Henry, “What are some things that make you scared or nervous about starting Kindergarten?”

·         Listen when another person is talking. 

·         Sometimes, it’s necessary to forget about my “to-do” lists, e-mails that await my response, blogs to write, and just BE with my son.

·         When a conversation shifts gears from the first day of school to which dinosaurs ate meat, go with it. 

·         The seemingly meaningless conversations mean something – TIME.

·         Invest into other people’s lives.

·         Just because you’re a good-looking kid doesn’t mean you don’t have insecurities.  (I am obviously biased, but have you seen my son?  Those eyes?  That complexion?)

·         As human beings, we need pure, unadulterated physical touch with others.

·         Smile at other people.  You don’t know what kind of day they are having.  (John Henry is concerned that when he smiles to his new friends, they may not smile back.)

·         The only thing better than a hug and a kiss goodnight are two hugs and two kisses.

·         And finally, be glad that a snapping turtle doesn’t have a long neck else it might turn around and snap your hand while picking him up.  (And, that was John Henry’s final thought.)

And, then we said “I love you” and “Goodnight.”

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July 10, 2008 · 6:00 am

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting.


Here is a little known fact about me:  I am a black belt.  Yep.  Full-fledged Kung Fu fightin’ martial artist.  Since taking my kids to see Kung Fu Panda, I’ve been showing them some of my old moves – the round kick, side kick, knife-hand punch….all the good ones.  I even let John Henry and Anna watch the video of when I received my black belt.  “Can we watch something else now?”  John Henry said with an exasperated sigh. 

Yesterday, John Henry whips out some of his Kung Fu moves.  So, I join him – showing him my skills.  He tells me, “My Daddy Bryan says that you can’t do karate anymore.”

“Do wha?  Did he really say that?”

“Sure did.”  John Henry answers.

So, when Bryan called to talk to John Henry last night, I called him on it.

“No, I did not tell John Henry that.  We talked about Kung Fu Panda and how you were a black belt, but I never said you couldn’t do it anymore.”  Bryan defended.

“Okay.  I’ll address this with John Henry.”

Look, I realize this is small stuff to you, but at this point, I have something to prove. 

So, I asked my son, “Um, your Daddy Bryan says that he never said such.  What’s the truth?”

“Mom, I made that up.  I just want you to stop doing your karate moves.”  John Henry confessed.

Current Cool Factor rating?  I’m in the red.

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July 3, 2008 · 6:00 am

Lord Almighty, I feel my temperature rising.


By the time the clock strikes 6:00 in the evening, the daily grind with children is nearing its end.  The day is all downhill from there, right?  Not as long as those pretty little blonde haired wonders are still awake. 

At 6:00 PM EST on Wednesday, July 2, 2008, Anna opened the backyard gate only to let Brew (our four-legged pal) explore the wild blue yonder.  I looked like a not so secret agent in search of a star witness in a high profile case.  Oh, I exaggerate.  I just ran up and down the street yellin’ like a true Southerner, “Brew!  Herrreee Breewwwww!”  My children traveled ten feet behind me wiping tears from their eyes.  Because, being the good mama that I am, I told them, “Well, we’ve lost Brew now.  That’s why you don’t open the gate.” 

Or the window, as was the case the last time Brew hoped for a newfound freedom.

So, we recovered Brew and I consoled the children.  As soon as I caught my breath, I commenced to making dinner.  Little did I know that John Henry would use this time to brush up on his “Dial 911” skills.  My phone rings and the lady on the other end from 911 dispatch, or whatever they’re called, informs me that there was a hang up from my number.  Hmmmm.  I told her it must have been one of my children.

“We still have to send someone out to make sure it’s okay,” she explains.

Sure enough an officer shows up at my door, and John Henry runs up the stairs. 

After handing over my license for…..for what?  A record check?  To log me into the system as a potential criminal mama?  The officer realized the only threat to society was us taking up the time of our city’s finest.

There is no doubt that by now, I am on the C.I.A.’s radar.  From the T.S.A. personnel at the airport finding these items in John Henry’s pockets….

To Anna setting off the house alarm while I was taking a shower causing ADT to leave messages on my landline, my cell phone, and my husband’s cell phone.  ‘Cause I was in the shower!

To the events of yesterday evening.  I’m on the radar.  I’m sure of it.

It’s times like these that I see a new series airing called “Baby Borrowers”, and I think, where do I sign up?  I’m just funnin’.  No really, I am.  You know after talking about sweet family time with the children in yesterday’s post….Jesus loves you high and low talk,  that I would never consider letting anyone borrow my children.  Now, I might be open to one of you opening your home to my beautiful blessings.  So, if interested, please comment. 

Ain’t got but one scripture to tie into this one – “This, too, shall pass.” 1 Corinthians 10:12

Hallelujah, Amen & Selah.

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May 28, 2008 · 7:00 am

Calling all mommas of little girls.

Anna is only 3 ½.  Isn’t it amazing that even at such a young age, she knows what she likes and what she doesn’t?  When watching those girly commercials with everything from “My Little Pony” to “Barbie Mariposa”, she will usually shout, “I want one does”.  We oblige some wants and not others.  Take for example, the “Bratz dolls”.  Aside from these dolls having the oddest little features, they look like little hussies.  Sorry.  I’m just not comfortable with Anna dressing these dolls in their little skimpy outfits.  I realize this may make me totally unpopular with some moms and possibly get me kicked out of a Mom’s Club or two, but it’s a choice that I make for my daughter right now.

I want her to grow up to be a woman of virtue.  (Please note:  I do believe your little girls can play with Bratz dolls and still be virtuous.)  I recognize that I have a very long road ahead of me and, a lot of unforeseen battles.  This, I know.  We used to talk a lot about purity – about how true love really waits.  When I was a teenager, I bought into this.  I want Anna to buy into it, too.  One of the best ways, I think, to make virtue important to Anna….and to John Henry, too…..is to expose them daily to the One who came that “I might have life and have it more abundantly.”  And, for both of them to see Kris and I bringing glory to Him.  Oh, we’re gonna have days, and we do, where we fail miserably.  But, I hope that they forgive us when we do, and are inspired when we get it right.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.  Proverbs 31:30

What do you think is okay or not okay for your little girl?

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May 23, 2008 · 7:00 am

I also hide under beds and in closets.


Getting my kids motivated to get ready for school is no easy task.  The other morning, I politely asked them in my sing song voice, “Go get dressed for school.”  (Kind of sing it when ya say it.)  A few moments later, I notice they are having too much fun in Anna’s princess tent to attempt taking off their PJS (much less the princess gown.)   So, again I say, patiently still, “Okay guys, get out of the tent and get dressed for school.” 

More moments passed.  And, you mommas know what happens to your voice once more moments pass.

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and crack every windshield in the house with one growl, I exclaimed, “GET OUT OF THE TENT AND GET DRESSED BEFORE I SPANK THE BOTH OF YA!” 

Well, you know the whole “spank” suggestion works….although neither were shaking in their PJs.

As Anna walks by me, she stops and says, “You’re a monster.”

Rrraargh!

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May 19, 2008 · 7:00 am

Take one Happy Meal and call me in the morning.


Yesterday was a boo-tiful (as Anna would say) day to be outdoors.  We set out our beach chairs and imagined that the ocean was only a few feet away.  Then, Anna thought it would be fun to play in, or on, her little red car.  The only thing more fun than riding inside the little red car is riding on top of it. 

So, she did.

Except, the car kept traveling throwing my little 32 lbs. onto the ground and the back of her head into the corner of a brick column. 

We left the beach and headed to the Emergency Room that pretty much took 3 hours of my life that I’ll never get back.

One staple to the back of the head…..finally…..and we were done.

My brave little beachcomber and car climber whimpered only for a second.  Then, I did what every mother does when her child has a bad day – took her to McDonalds.

And, that’s all I got.

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May 9, 2008 · 7:00 am

I am my mother’s daughter.

This is one of my favorite pictures of my mother taken over twenty years ago.  I just the love the way it captures her beautiful profile.  She has always been this beautiful.  And her beauty goes deeper than anyone I have ever known.

I really can’t imagine life without my mother.  I share Abe Lincoln’s sentiments when he said “Everything I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”  While I am certain she made mistakes as a mother, I can honestly say, I cannot recall one.  Perhaps, that’s because she invested much more good than she withdrew bad.  I have been blessed beyond measure because of her.

My love for the written word is largely due to her exposing me to books at a very young age.  I can still remember as a little girl heading to the Flint River Library to join other children in book readings.  I can also recall the excitement I felt each week as I brought home my borrowed books.  She introduced me to books, and I was able to enter into a world where I knew anything was possible.  It was this love that ignited my love to write.

She endured through my stubborn resolve to not wear socks where the lace overlapped.  (And, as noted yesterday with my little Anna, I know exactly what she must have felt.)  When I wrote my first song about a falling star, she assured me it was top 40 material, regardless of the fact that it included a line about killing a bumble bee.  She let me write and mail a letter to Brett Butler of the Atlanta Braves and convinced me that he read it.  She loved me still after I screamed “I hate you.”  She made my sixteenth birthday truly sweet.  If she told me once, she told me a thousand times how proud she was of me when I graduated from college.  She squeezed me tight the day before I married.  She held me close the day I got divorced.  And she rubbed my head the day I gave birth to my son.  And, then, she held him, too. 

Then, one day she watched us hop aboard an airplane with the last of our belongings and venture off into new adventures.  While she hurt inside, she smiled and still said, “I am so happy for you.” 

She is a wonderful Nan.

She is my rock and my best friend. 

She is my dear mother. 

I hope one day my children love me as much as I love her.

Happy Mother’s Day.

 

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