Category Archives: Relationships

June 6, 2008 · 7:20 am

Come Monday, it’ll be all right.

Let me introduce you to Mike Oliver.  No, he doesn’t always wear this hat.  Just for Jimmy Buffet concerts.

Mike has labored in ministry with my dad for twenty-two years.  This Monday, Mike, his wife Shari, and their son, Bo, will say goodbye to friends and begin a new chapter in their lives.  Mike will be starting Coastal Community Church in the Fort Walton beach area.  While I am excited and anticipate good things to come from his ministry on the coast, I am also sad to him leave.  He is my pastor, and he is my dear friend.

Mike has taught me many things.  Here are a few.

–          No matter what you are going through in life, Bear Bryant has the best quotes to get you through.

 

–          If he says ALA, I say BAMA.

 

–          Always smile, and laugh hard.

 

–          Repeating the same jokes over and over, when said well, is always funny.  A personal favorite:  “What’s going down?  Your leg?”  Ridiculous.  And, I laugh every time.

 

–          A friend sticks closer than a brother.

 

–          When things aren’t right for a friend, do all you can to help make them right.

 

–          Always faithful.  Always.

 

–          When in despair, turn to Jesus and some Jimmy Buffet tunes.

 

–          When happy, turn to Jesus and some Jimmy Buffet tunes.

 

–          Speak ill of no one.

 

–          Appreciate the small things.  Life is short.

 

–          Never waste a moment.  Live out loud.

 

–          God is good.  His love never fails.

 

–          Whatever you do, do it well.  And, there is no substitute for passion.

 

There are three men that I hold dearest to my heart – my husband, my father, and Mike Oliver.  I’m not sure what Eagles Way Church is going to look like without him.  And, I’m not sure what everyday life will look like without his insane humor and unrelenting loyalty.  But, if he has taught me one thing, it is this:  Come Monday, it’ll be all right.  I’m holding him to that.  I love that man.

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May 16, 2008 · 7:00 am

Mud Puddles And Other Messes

Sometimes, we get just plain silly in the Takle house.  We do things like this:

And this.

And, then there are days where we just blow it out and do this.  If you listen closely you’ll hear an elderly couple, apparently amused by the muddy display, stop and take notice. 

Summer is right ‘round the corner.  It’s a great time to enjoy your family and friends and get messy. 

 “As long as I can focus on enjoying what I’m doing, having fun, I know I’ll play well.”  – Steffi Graf

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May 14, 2008 · 7:00 am

Conversations that work.


We all know that communication is key in relationships.  However, how we communicate is just as important as the communication itself.  Kris and I don’t get it right all the time, but I’d say that we usually do okay. 

I’ve learned a few things that work and a few that don’t.  Such as….

·      Addressing an issue in the form of an attack.  For example:   I try to avoid comments that begin with “You never” or “You always”.  This, more times than not, forces Kris to be defensive.  He shouldn’t have to “defend” himself unless I catch him eating the last of my cereal before I’ve had my bowl.

 

·      Addressing something that bothers you while that something is happening.  I will usually wait until we are alone and time has lapsed before I address an issue.  I do this for 2 reasons:  1) I may feel differently about it later, thus saving Kris from any unnecessary tough conversation and 2) if I still feel a need to address the issue, he is less likely to take offense and receive what I have to say, because he is far removed from the situation.  This rule is null and void if said offender leaves the toilet seat up or changes the toilet paper roll by simply placing the new one on top of the old one.  This calls for immediate dialogue.

 

·      And, finally, communication sometimes simply involves telling Kris something I love about him, thanking him for something he does, or praising him for his accomplishments.  It is important that he knows that I appreciate him and that I believe in him.  For example, he is an excellent pilot, and I tell him all the time.  Actually, I tell him that when I see his hand pushing that throttle forward, I kind of melt inside.  For real.

 

What have you found that works or doesn’t work?

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May 9, 2008 · 7:00 am

I am my mother’s daughter.

This is one of my favorite pictures of my mother taken over twenty years ago.  I just the love the way it captures her beautiful profile.  She has always been this beautiful.  And her beauty goes deeper than anyone I have ever known.

I really can’t imagine life without my mother.  I share Abe Lincoln’s sentiments when he said “Everything I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”  While I am certain she made mistakes as a mother, I can honestly say, I cannot recall one.  Perhaps, that’s because she invested much more good than she withdrew bad.  I have been blessed beyond measure because of her.

My love for the written word is largely due to her exposing me to books at a very young age.  I can still remember as a little girl heading to the Flint River Library to join other children in book readings.  I can also recall the excitement I felt each week as I brought home my borrowed books.  She introduced me to books, and I was able to enter into a world where I knew anything was possible.  It was this love that ignited my love to write.

She endured through my stubborn resolve to not wear socks where the lace overlapped.  (And, as noted yesterday with my little Anna, I know exactly what she must have felt.)  When I wrote my first song about a falling star, she assured me it was top 40 material, regardless of the fact that it included a line about killing a bumble bee.  She let me write and mail a letter to Brett Butler of the Atlanta Braves and convinced me that he read it.  She loved me still after I screamed “I hate you.”  She made my sixteenth birthday truly sweet.  If she told me once, she told me a thousand times how proud she was of me when I graduated from college.  She squeezed me tight the day before I married.  She held me close the day I got divorced.  And she rubbed my head the day I gave birth to my son.  And, then, she held him, too. 

Then, one day she watched us hop aboard an airplane with the last of our belongings and venture off into new adventures.  While she hurt inside, she smiled and still said, “I am so happy for you.” 

She is a wonderful Nan.

She is my rock and my best friend. 

She is my dear mother. 

I hope one day my children love me as much as I love her.

Happy Mother’s Day.

 

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May 7, 2008 · 7:00 am

R-E-S-P-E-C-T


Aretha sang it best, but I don’t think she was singing about the respect I’m gonna talk about.  I will not be referencing the “when you get home” respect…..at least not this time.

Respect.  I think we as a society have lost it for one another.  For real.  The greatest thing I learned from writing last week’s blog series was this:  people need to know they matter.  Whether we express it in the written word, take time out of our busy life to invest in another’s, or let the guy trying to get over in our lane get over, our society is groaning for a re-establishment of respect for humankind. 

In this year alone, I have heard of numerous people who have taken their own life.  I lost a classmate in February who left behind a wife and toddler son.  One of my former students who excelled in everything he did just ended his life at 21.  Last year, I met a beautiful girl who was in her late twenties with a successful career.  I recently learned that she, too, committed suicide.  I am bothered, and I can’t help it.

Call suicide selfish.  Call it whatever you will.  Bottom line is that we are surrounded by hurting people, lonely people, desperate people.  Our lack of respect and our immersion into ourselves blind us to what God has truly called us to. 

I’m not placing blame.  No one can or should bear the burden of desperate people.  But, we do need to take responsibility for the little things – like the simple act of respect.

I have good friends.  And, I don’t need to “fit” them into my life when convenient for me.  They deserve my undivided attention and moments set aside just for them.  Why?  Because they matter.

For the sake of humanity, let’s reclaim that 7 letter word.  (And, I know most of you are counting right now.)  And, for the sake of our relationships, let’s make sure they know they matter.  For real.

By the way, I don’t think Jason Castro is gonna make it through after last night’s performances.  Even with my sympathy text votes, I’m afraid he’ll get the boot.  I just needed him to know that he matters.  After all, he IS my brother.  Ya’ll be prayin’ for ’em now.

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May 2, 2008 · 7:00 am

Women who have influenced me. (5 of 5)

Vickie Brauckmann

I met Vickie February of 2003 – the same day Kris Takle came into my life.  My relationship with Vickie has been one of the most defining elements in my life as an adult, as a woman, and as a friend. 

I have been blessed with many close friends.  This verity made moving to Oklahoma bittersweet.  But, I found a friend in Vickie.  She embraced me instantly.  She has also taught me the beauty in not only being a friend, but what it means to truly care for one.  You see, when Vickie is with you, she is with you.  You know those people that you talk to who are usually thinking of the next thing they are going to say instead of listening to you?  That’s not Vickie.  She lives in the moment with her friends.  She listens to them.  She is genuinely interested in what’s going on their lives. 

Her home is her haven, and she welcomes you…..really welcomes you into it.  When she invites you into her home, she makes you feel like you’re the only person that exists – and, she takes care of you to perfection.  And, when she invites you into her life, she invites you in for good. 

She is one of the most caring women I have ever met.   She can be trusted.  She is genuine to the core.  She is blessed but unpretentious.  She makes me proud to be a woman and even prouder to be a friend.

Vickie once gave me a beautiful kitchen towel that reads “Friends are relatives you make for yourself.”  No one emanates this adage better than Vickie. 

Because she and her husband, David, loved Kris so much, they also loved me.  I cannot say enough about their friendship.  They have believed in us and loved us with a love that is extraordinary. 

I moved to Oklahoma for love and found much more in my dear friend, Vickie.

….but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.  Proverbs 18:24

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May 1, 2008 · 7:00 am

Women who have influenced me. (4 of 5)

Kitty Grubbs

My relationship with Kitty began when I was only ten years old.  For the years that followed, I was connected to her as a piano student, a caregiver to her precious children (who are all grown up now), and through praise and worship.  Throughout these connections, we became friends.

Kitty imparted to me one of the greatest gifts I think exists in the world:  the gift of giving.  I can remember her buying me Easter dresses and my first prom dress just because she wanted to bless me.  Her giving continued throughout my adolescent years.  It wasn’t just the dresses or the piano lessons that she gave, but it was the heart and significance behind it.  And, she gave with no expectation.

She doesn’t give because her life has been without heartaches and broken roads.  She has endured more than most.  She gives because she chooses to live no other way.  Kitty understands and lives out that she is “His hands and His feet.”  She takes the call to be like Jesus seriously.  Like we all should.

I could say so much more about Kitty besides her generosity.  Like the fact that she loves and cares for people deeply.  That she seeks Christ for direction and listens….really listens to His voice.  That her dedication to the house of God has been steadfast.   And, how she always put her children first and took the role as a mother as her greatest call. 

Just as Kitty has blessed me, I hope I always bless others.  She gave, and she continues to give.  May we all receive the gift of giving and be more like Him.

But just as you excel in everything…see that you also excel in this grace of giving.  2 Corinthians 8:7

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April 30, 2008 · 7:00 am

Women who have influenced me. (3 of 5)

Linda Hardwick

For more than twenty years, I’ve been mentored by and friends with Linda.  Some may find it odd that I considered Linda my friend even as teenager, but I did.  As a matter of fact, I can remember calling her and her husband, Joe, up when I was 16 so we could “do something” together.  For real.  Besides, while they imparted Christ to me, I imparted “cool” to them – at least, I thought I did.

Linda has been whatever I’ve needed her to be.  She has been a mother, a counselor, a pastor, and a friend.  She has cared for me in her home more times than I can count.  I’m not sure what I would do without her chicken and broccoli casserole.  That alone places her on the list of my greatest influences.  And, my Christmas china collection is largely thanks her to kindness.

What is probably most admirable about Linda is that she is a seeker of truth.  But, she doesn’t seek truth for knowledge’s sake, but for the sake of living it.  She embraces tightly the scripture, “You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  She will tell you that knowledge is not knowing with your mind but with your heart. 

She loves God.  She loves her family.  She loves her friends.  I’m blessed to call her one of mine.

“There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily.”  – George Washington

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April 29, 2008 · 7:00 am

Women who have influenced me. (2 of 5)

Judy Young

Judy came into my life when I was only three years old.  Her daughter, Bonnie, has been my best friend since we were tots which pretty much crowns Judy as my second mom.  I’m sure she’s worn that crown proudly.  For real.

Judy has experienced everything with me from the loss of my first tooth to the birth of my firstborn.  She has cleaned up my messes, played games with me (this was no sacrifice – she loved to play more than I), watched me become mesmerized with Tinker Bell flying from atop of the Disney castle, and loved on me like her own.  All of this by itself is enough to make her shine in my life, but she has been more.

She believes big.  I mean really big.  Her faith is big.  She not only believes big for little ole’ me, but she believes big for the local church.  She loves the local church more than anyone I have ever known.  I have never, EVER heard her criticize the church.  She only speaks positive and powerful affirmations over the house of God.  You see, Judy believes that God really does live in the local church.  And, that’s just cool.  

She understands that God is truly in control.  And, she believes that the best is yet to come – always.

She’s called me many affectionate names over my lifetime, but for the past few years, she has come to call me “Grasshopper”.  She believes that God uses me and wants to continue to use me.  Oh, I get weekly e-mails where she gently pushes me into all that God has for me.  She dreams big and believes big. 

There is no one like her.   I’m beyond grateful that she has imparted to me the gift of BIG.  And, this little grasshopper loves her big.

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April 28, 2008 · 7:00 am

Women who have influenced me. (1 of 5)


I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by some pretty spectacular people in life – men and women.  I decided to take an opportunity to celebrate a few of the women who have imparted to me throughout my life.  Any good in me is largely due to their influence.  While my mom stands in front, I’ve decided to celebrate her for a nice Mother’s Day write-up.  Besides, who else would I talk about on Mother’s Day?

So, this week is dedicated to a few of those women.

Susan Woodward (A.K.A. Mimi)

I have known Mimi since 1985.  That would have barely put me into double-digits in terms of age.  She has loved on me with the greatest of depth since that day.  She has rejoiced with me, and she has been one of my greatest encouragers when I’ve suffered. 

I’ll never forget her coming to visit me and my newborn baby boy.  While I was experiencing so many joys as a new mom, I was also enduring one of the most difficult times in my life.  I was facing life as single mother with a broken heart, and I could barely catch my breath most days.  Sitting next to me on my living room sofa, Mimi gently embraced me and said, “Dusty, one day you will look back, and this will have been only a bump in the road.”  I struggled to wrap my brain around her confidence, but I held onto to her words.  Today, I can say without hesitance, it was a bump in the road.  She believed.  She prayed.  She loved.  And, so it was.

Mimi wakes up daily with a freshness of God.  Her spirituality is truly new every morning.  She has walked with God many years and still gets excited about the things of Him.  One would think she just got saved only a week ago.

She has the purest love for the body of Christ of anyone you will ever meet.  She loves people.  She is the greatest encourager and prayer warrior.  If you ask Mimi to pray, rest assured she will.   

She lives out the 1 Corinthians 13 definition of love.  She endures all things, believes all things, and hopes all things.  Mimi’s love never fails.

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