Category Archives: Virtue

Heart Surgery.

Pride.

That’s my ugly issue.

Pride can come in different forms.  But, at the end of the day, it’s all self-centeredness. 

My stuff reveals itself when I stress over finding the perfect outfit to wear for an event.  Or, when I stress over the idea that people expect me to perform at a certain level.  Or, when I want to make sure I give the perfect gift.  Or, when I want more stuff than I already have – which is, I’m certain, more than I need.

It’s all pride. 

And, there is nothing holy about it.

I wish my issue was a bit more noble.  Of course, I suppose any unholy stuff we got goin’ on isn’t exactly noble.

But still.

This is my stuff.

And, I’ve let God open up my heart and operate.

Because, more than anything else on this earth, I want to be more like Him. 

I want to live beyond myself.

Beyond my pride.

Beyond me.

Less of me.  More of Him.

Is there anything more important than that?

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Filed under God Stuff, Spiritual Journey, Virtue

Heart Check: I Want That, Too!

I am a blessed girl.  I don’t struggle with envy.  I don’t covet my neighbors’ material goods.  Because, I really have this understanding of God’s goodness in my own life.

Or do I?

Pastor Craig Groeschel of Lifechurch.tv shared this past weekend on how to be dissatisfied.  I am pretty satisfied most days.  But when he suggested that comparing what I have to people who have more is a step that leads to living a dissatisfied life? 

I had a heart check.

To be honest.  I mean really honest.

I have a nice home.  But, I can go to an even nicer home and think, “Wow!  I want one of these!”  Then, I go back to my “shack” and fail to recognize my blessings. 

Granted, I don’t live in a shack.  But, that’s the attitude that can penetrate my heart. 

I never resent God’s goodness and blessings in others’ lives.  At least, I’ve got that goin’ for me.  But when I want more, I ignore God’s goodness in my own life.  And, what is holy about that?

We left that Saturday service and I confessed my conviction to Kris.  An issue I didn’t even realize was there.  I then told him, “Babe, my love doesn’t cost a thing.”

“Really?” He said with a little sheepish grin. 

I laughed.  He lightened my mood.  However, the reality of my heart check remained. 

Conviction.

I am so much farther from “considering everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ…..”  I am so far from “considering them rubbish….” (Philippians 3:7-8)  So, I’m letting God deal with it. 

Do you ever compare what you have to people who have more?

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Filed under God Stuff, gratitude, Virtue

I Was Wrong.

There are times I have to ask one of my children to forgive me.  It’s one of the most important things I can do as their mother.  Like the other day when Anna cut open a bag of dish candy.  In the middle of the bag.  Where there is no hope for closing it without candy spilling out everywhere.  I was upset.  My response was unnecessarily harsh.  And, my usually tough little girl ran to her room in tears.

I was wrong.

I entered her bedroom and held her.  I asked her to forgive me and told her she was the best daughter in the whole wide world.

Then, I told her I was wrong to respond the way I did.

She needed to hear me acknowledge my behavior was wrong as much as she needed to hear me say I’m sorry.

Honestly, I don’t find it difficult admitting my weakness to my children.  I don’t want them to struggle doing the same.   I want them to find it easy to go their heavenly Father and lay down their weaknesses at His feet, so He can show Himself strong in their lives.

Motherhood is not foolproof.  Neither is life.  When we mess up, it’s essential to acknowledge it and make a mends with the person we hurt.  Even if it is your four year old little girl.

It’s not the first time I’ve had to say I was wrong.  And, it’s certain it won’t be my last. 

I’m a believer in telling our children we are wrong when we are, indeed, wrong.  As a matter of fact, I think it’s essential in raising children with a healthy understanding of humility and forgiveness.

Do you struggle saying “I was wrong” to your children?

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Filed under Motherhood, parenting, Relationships, Virtue

A Broken And A Contrite Heart.

I keep getting these e-mails about potential boarding schools.  I’ve yet to classify them as spam, you know, just in case.  Oh, I would never.  I could never. 

Could I?

No.  I love this insanely unpredictable saga I live with a husband, two kids, and a dog.  And, of course, baby number three forming as I type. 

Yesterday, I told you about our latest parenting issue with little Miss Takle.  But yesterday afternoon, I encountered a discipline issue with John Henry.  And, his response broke me.

He had mistreated his sister.  It was small stuff by most people’s terms.  But, we see treating each other the way Christ wants us to treat each other as big stuff. 

I sent him to his room.  I entered knowing that he would have to be disciplined.  After it was over, he fell in my arms, and wailed, “The things I did to my sister were wrong!”  His heartfelt repentance broke him.

It broke me.

I felt tears touching my shoulders, and I’m sure he felt tears touching his.  There are times when my children tell one another they are sorry, because we force it on them.  Then, there are moments like these where they are truly broken.  They experience true repentance. 

Later that evening, John Henry asked me to tell Kris what happened. 

“You want me to tell Dad?”  I asked him.

“Yes.  I want him to know,” he responded.

He doesn’t even understand the scripture of confessing your sins to one another, but he is already practicing it.  I couldn’t help but think.  When is the last time I felt that kind of repentance in my own heart?  Where I was really broken?  Am I that broken when I talk about someone behind their back?  When I mishandle someone?  When I sin against my Father? 

Lord, create in me a new heart.  Renew a right spirit within me.

Let me come before your throne with a heart of David.  And, understand, once again, the JOY of your salvation.   

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.  You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.  Psalm 51:17

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Filed under God Stuff, parenting, Virtue

Gossip Girl


I was watching Oprah the other afternoon, wishing I had a wonderful glass of wine iced tea to enjoy it with.  It was about how to handle various social situations.  Perhaps, you saw it?

Well, one situation was where a gal found herself in a “real e-mail pickle,” to quote Oprah.  She sent an e-mail gossiping about someone…..to the someone she was gossiping about! 

Yikes!  How to recover from that one?

She was given the advice to never, ever gossip via e-mail again.  As a matter of fact, don’t write anything in an e-mail you wouldn’t want to see on the front pages of the NY Times.  You know what happens.  You send an e-mail.  It gets forwarded.  Forwarded again. 

Even text messaging can produce the same “oops.”  In today’s world of mass communication, these blunders are all too common.  I can’t tell you how many times my husband has texted our pilot, Blue (yes, that’s his real name), telling him/me how much he misses me, wants to kiss me, wants to……

You get the picture. 

As a result, Blue’s job is secure for the rest of his life. 

I’ve written e-mails that were forwarded but meant for private eyes.  (Just typing “private eyes” makes me suddenly break out into the Hall & Oates song.  I’m so not kidding.)  Anyway, I’ve also texted the right message to the wrong people. 

Another issue that e-mail and text messaging presents is how we interpret the tone of the sender’s voice.  That’s why we put the little smiley faces at the end of nearly every sentence these days.  As if to say, “Hey!  Don’t take me seriously!” 

The art of communication can be lost so easily these days.  And, the risk of Susie finding out how ugly you thought her dress was last night has never been greater.

 Best thing to do?  Don’t type it. 

Has this ever happened to you?

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Filed under Randomness, Virtue

A Candid Look Into Porn

I don’t struggle with porn personally.   But, I know many do.

I struggle with the fact that pornography is something so few of us talk about.  I struggle with how it has destroyed marriages, hurt children, and shattered lives. 

It’s such a taboo subject that men and women don’t feel comfortable discussing their addiction to porn.  Sometimes, not even with his or her accountability partner. 

But, there is hope.

I want to encourage every single one of you to read Cindy Beall’s very personal story on how pornography affected her marriage.  And, how God restored it. 

And, remember, God’s restoration is not restoring something to as it was, but rather restoring it to what He created it to be.

Please, take the time to read Cindy’s story.  Her transparency will inspire you and her testimony will give you hope.

Our Story:  Chapter 1

Our Story:  Chapter 2

Our Story:  Chapter 3

Our Story:  Chapter 4

Our Story:  Chapter 5

The Slippery Slope

You can also read Cindy’s book here. 

We serve a God who heals, redeems, and restores.

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Filed under Marriage, Relationships, sex, Virtue

Calling all mommas of little girls.

Anna is only 3 ½.  Isn’t it amazing that even at such a young age, she knows what she likes and what she doesn’t?  When watching those girly commercials with everything from “My Little Pony” to “Barbie Mariposa”, she will usually shout, “I want one does”.  We oblige some wants and not others.  Take for example, the “Bratz dolls”.  Aside from these dolls having the oddest little features, they look like little hussies.  Sorry.  I’m just not comfortable with Anna dressing these dolls in their little skimpy outfits.  I realize this may make me totally unpopular with some moms and possibly get me kicked out of a Mom’s Club or two, but it’s a choice that I make for my daughter right now.

I want her to grow up to be a woman of virtue.  (Please note:  I do believe your little girls can play with Bratz dolls and still be virtuous.)  I recognize that I have a very long road ahead of me and, a lot of unforeseen battles.  This, I know.  We used to talk a lot about purity – about how true love really waits.  When I was a teenager, I bought into this.  I want Anna to buy into it, too.  One of the best ways, I think, to make virtue important to Anna….and to John Henry, too…..is to expose them daily to the One who came that “I might have life and have it more abundantly.”  And, for both of them to see Kris and I bringing glory to Him.  Oh, we’re gonna have days, and we do, where we fail miserably.  But, I hope that they forgive us when we do, and are inspired when we get it right.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.  Proverbs 31:30

What do you think is okay or not okay for your little girl?

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Filed under Motherhood, Virtue