He Knew.

Do I miss blogging every single day?  Well, of course, I do.  The unfortunate part in it all is that I’ve had a lot to write about, and my time has not accommodated my fingers on a keyboard.  Except for the teeny, tiny keyboard on my iPhone, of course. 

I hardly know how to compile all of these thoughts in my head in an orderly, coherent fashion.  I’ll start with this.  It’s been a roller coaster couple of weeks.  After birthin’ that sweet boy of mine, I was due for my yearly pap smear.  Ahem, pardon me, men friends and readers.  It wasn’t my best performance.  Okay, it wasn’t the news I was looking for.  So, I went in for a little more haven’t I had enough goin’ on up there these past few weeks extensive, hmmm, exploration?  I hoped and prayed that this would put an end to the exploration of the wild, blue yonder.  Alas, it did not.  Again, not the results I was looking for. 

So, here I sit awaiting a little outpatient surgery to investigate the matter further.  I’ve heard the “C” word.  I’ve heard hysterectomy.  I’ve heard it could be absolutely nothing to worry my pretty, little salon-maintained, blonde head over. 

But you know what?  I am okay.  As a matter of fact, I’m even thankful.  Thankful that had I faced this one year ago today, Kris and I would probably not have had the opportunity to pursue, if you will, having the beautiful, little boy who has my heart on a string. 

But, God knew one year ago what I would be facing today.  And, He knew Jett Takle before he was formed in my womb. 

He knew.

He knows the number of hairs on my head.  He knows what my tomorrow looks like. 

He knows.

And, that is the amazement of it all. 

So, no matter what tomorrow looks like for me. 

No matter what the future holds. 

He holds it in His hand. 

And, I am okay.

Besides, He gave me this March 22, 2010.

And, if that’s not a testament to the sovereignty of God….well, it just is.

Because, He knew.

….But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.  Matthew 10:29

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Filed under God Stuff, gratitude, Motherhood

Shhh…

That’s what I’d tell your right this second if you walked into my house. It’s 9:43pm on the bottom right of my computer screen.  Jett is in bed making little grunty noises.  I hear an occasional whimper.  I go into his room to soothe him.  Um, like now….hold up.

Okay.  I’m back, and now it’s 9:46pm.  We are doing the whole “lay him down awake” technique in hopes that this little man will learn to fall asleep on his own.  In the meantime, I sit up in my soft, living room chair and pass the time reading, writing, and wondering how in the world I can give my older two children the attention they need from me while caring for this little person who can do practically nothing for himself.

So, I feel guilt.  I feel guilty that I have to tell my son, “Buddy, I can’t right now.”  I feel guilty that by the time I made it to my daughter’s room to pray for her tonight, she was already asleep.  I know this only a season.  And, I wouldn’t skip this season if I could.  But I wish I could press a pause button sometimes, so I didn’t miss any moments with any of my children. 

And, John Henry and Anna are both so gracious to me.  They are gracious to their new little brother.  I hear John Henry singing Jeremy Camp’s “Beautiful One” to his little brother.  I see Anna brushing his cheeks with her hand and trying to make him smile.  Of course this afternoon, Kris and I overheard her telling him about Jesus and God.  How they live in heaven.  How we’ll all die one day and live in heaven, too.  Poor kid just got here, and already Anna is preparing him for the sweet by and by. 

Nonetheless, they have been gracious.  And, I can’t help but think that God has given them grace for this season, too. 

Do you ever feel guilt as a parent?

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The Secret of Her Success.

My young athlete scored 8 of her team’s 11 goals at Saturday’s soccer game.  She told her Nan,

“I just turned on my speed and asked God to help me.  But, don’t tell the green team.”

When I later asked Anna if she prayed to ask God to help her, she responded, “No, I didn’t pray, I just asked Him.” 

This is where her knowledge of God becomes relational.  Where talking to Him becomes second nature.  And, that makes a momma’s heart happy.

Except for when she shouted, “We win!  They lose!” 

Today’s Parenting Lesson:  Humility.

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Filed under God Stuff, Kid Stuff, parenting, Uncategorized

The Warrior.

(Lynn with her sweet grandchildren)

She’s one of the greatest women of God I’ve ever known.

She loves her family the way I imagine God called all mothers and daughters to love their families.

She loves the local the church and never misses a day in His courts unless necessary.

She loves her friends, and her thoughtfulness is always evident.

I honestly don’t know many more selfless human beings than Lynn Chambers.

I really don’t know how I would have pressed through my difficult times without her encouragement.

And, I don’t know a greater prayer warrior than she.

But, I do know that she loves with a love that must melt the heart of God.

She is my prayer warrior.

And, she’s probably yours.

Happy Birthday Lynn Chambers.  I love you more than I could ever express.  Thank you for believing in the power of prayer.  It’s an honor to call you friend.

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Dear Oklahoma.

Dear Oklahoma,

I didn’t know you on April 19, 1995.  But, I know you today.  When I think of how you hurt 15 years ago, it hurts my heart.  I admire how you honor and remember those affected by the Alfred P. Murrah federal building bombing. 

And, I love how you continue to hold onto hope.

So, today, I honor you.  I pray for those who are still affected by that day.

And, I remember with you.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalm 34:18

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She Marches To the Beat of A Different Drummer.

See?

Anna had her Spring Music Program last night.  I requested she pose for a picture or two.  And, this is what she gave me.

I don’t know.  We don’t even ask any more. 

I caught a little video clip of her singing.  Pretty certain she knew she was being videoed. 

Annnnd, peace out.

Have a great weekend.

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Filed under Kid Stuff

Little Splinters Hurt.

Anna loves to climb our wooden fence.  Unfortunately, splinters are likely when she grabs the fence with her small, tender hands.  She knows this.  But sometimes, the reward outweighs the risk, so she climbs away.  When she came inside from our backyard yesterday with tears streaming down her face, I knew.  She climbed the fence.  And, she had the splinters in her hand to prove it.

“Get them out, Mom!” she wailed.  “They hurt so badly!”

Isn’t it funny how something so tiny can cause so much pain and discomfort?  We want it out right then, don’t we?  We are always quick to respond to our physical well-being. 

Yet, when something seemingly small and painful enters our spirit, we don’t always work to get it out right away.  We think we can continue to function and pretend it’s not there.  It might be jealousy.  Discontentment.  Bitterness.  Pride. 

Our Words.

Our Thoughts.

To name a few.

But these seemingly small things can cause great damage to our spirits.  They can even cause damage to those around us.  The Song of Solomon tells us that it’s “the little foxes that spoil the vine.”  So, why do we think we can compartmentalize those little things and shove them in a drawer as though they will not affect us?

We really can’t.  Because, those splinters will show themselves whether we want them to or not. 

Instead, we have to get out the tweezers and prod it, poke it, and pull at it until it’s no longer infecting us.  We have to get it out. 

It might hurt a little when we pull the splinter out.  But, oh the relief once we do. 

I tend to ask God, “What in me is not of You?”  Then?  God and I deal with it.  Together. 

Annnndddd, we do this often.  Just the same, I know I haven’t relieved Anna Takle of her last splinter.  And, when she runs to me crying, “Get it out,” I will.  Then, I will hold her and let her rest in my arms.  Don’t you think our heavenly Father does the same?

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Filed under Kid Stuff, Spiritual Journey

She’s A Fly Girl Who Loves Her Country.

Meet Beth Ruby. 

She’s my super cool, brave friend serving in the Air Force.  Oh, and she’s pretty much the smartest chick I know, too.  She wrote this post a while back, and I asked her permission to post it here.  Want to know why I and so many others are proud to call her friend?  Well, just read why she serves our country.

Guest Blog:  Beth Ruby

“Why I Serve”

I have been asked numerous times by friends, family, and strangers why I chose military service. I always answered this question without thought; a sort of conditioned response that contained a very mediocre answer. I always thought that I wanted to serve to protect our freedoms, and because I wanted to be in the world’s greatest Air Force. While these reasons are worthwhile, they are not truly why I am called to serve. I gave these reasons because that is what everyone else says. The real reason, however simple, just became clear to me tonight as I watched footage from World War II.

In the not too distant past, America was called into a war of nations to protect the security and freedom of millions of citizens, both foreign and domestic. Fascist dictators were spreading their evil empires across continents. When America entered World War II, it was not to simply lend a hand. We knew that an outright defeat of these regimes was essential to the continued prosperity of every nation. The urgency and importance of this war was realized by almost all American citizens. Men set aside their goals and ambitions, and volunteered to fight; others were drafted to serve. Either way, these men were torn from their families, their careers, and every bit of comfort they enjoyed in America. They were thrown into one of the bloodiest and most devastating wars in history, and without hesitation, they fought and died. On the home front, every citizen gave up luxuries to support the war efforts. Items were rationed, women went to factories to work, and hundreds of families got letters each day explaining their loved one was killed in action.

The average American today has no concept of the sacrifices made by every person that was alive during those times. Only the eldest members of our society witnessed the extreme loss and suffering that took place during World War II. Sadly, the veterans that fought in World War II are nearing the end of their lives, and soon they will be only memories.

Not too long after World War II, America was forced to once again stop the spread of evil in both Korea and Vietnam. American citizens were torn from the comforts of home and whatever plans they had made for their lives. In both conflicts, these brave Americans were fighting with their hands tied. We sent them there to win, but did not give them the support they needed to do so. Thousands of Soldiers, Marines, Sailors, and Airmen died in these conflicts. Many others were taken prisoner, or were never accounted for. For hundreds of military members, returning from Vietnam was almost as difficult as fighting in country. Some have said it was even more painful. Unlike World War II, our fighters did not return to a grateful nation as heroes, they returned to quite a substantial number of protestors. Some of these protestors spat on them and called them “baby killers.”

Now that brings me to today. I am very grateful that I was born an American, and I am even more grateful for the brave men and women that came before me that made being an American so great. We are currently fighting in a very controversial war on terror, and American men and women are dying every day in service to our country. Just like in Vietnam, we are fighting a war that is not fully supported, and unlike World War II, our actions are governed more by public opinion than by public good. Americans sacrifice nothing in modern warfare. We still get to pump as much gas as we want into our Hummers, and it is completely cool to bash whatever leadership you want in the name of free speech. This is all fine, until you cross the line. In my opinion, you cross the line the moment you bash or blame the military. Remember that the San Franciscan sipping a latte has as much influence on foreign policy a the soldier in a hole in Iraq.

Finally, I have arrived at the reason why I chose to serve. Contrary to popular expression, I will not say that I serve to protect the rights of the very protestors that bash the military. This reason is very frequently used, but it carries little value to me personally. I would love to see the protestors try to hug a terrorist and use their infinite wisdom and logic to out reason a radical belief system. The real reason I chose to serve is simply to say thank you. Thank you to the millions of men and women who gave everything to give me something. No amount of words or gifts could ever convey my profound appreciation for those that fought before me. Hollywood has done a pretty good job of depicting some of the most memorable war stories. However, I do not consider my enjoyment of a movie as a sincere token of gratitude for the heroes depicted in it. Personally, the only possible way to express my thanks is by service. Although I am just one person, I am joining a great tradition, and a great symbol. The military is a group of individuals that collectively symbolize the very essence of freedom. I am about to begin a new course of training as an officer in the United States Air Force, where I will carry on and always remember the legacies of the heroes that came before me.

Thank you to all veterans, prisoners of war, those missing in action, Airmen, Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, Coasties, Reservists, Guardsmen, families of the military, civil servants, and every American that supports men and women in uniform!

Thank YOU Beth Ruby.

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Filed under giving, making an impact

Grace For the Season.

What was I thinking?  I mean, starting all over again with the baby stuff?  The sleepless nights, the diapers that require hazmat suits and masks, the feedings….by hand? 

I was thinking that God wanted a Mr. Jett Takle to be born into His Kingdom.  And, I know that God already knew him long, long ago. 

I’ll admit I had moments throughout my pregnancy where the thought of enduring this season again seemed overwhelming.  Shoot, there are moments at 2:00AM that I feel those same overwhelming thoughts now.  Will I ever blog again?  Will I ever sleep again?  Will I ever eat slowly again, because I have all the time in the world?  But, I know it’s just a season.

My sweet friend, Cindy Beall, sent me this message when I was in the hospital with Jett:

“God has given you the grace you need for this season.  You are fully equipped as a child of the King to accomplish what He wants you to.”

My response to Mrs. Beall was simply, “I receive that.”

The truth is you can receive that, too.  No matter what season of life you are in.  No matter where God has you.  He will give you the grace you need for your season.  He will equip you to accomplish what He wants you to.  Do you get that?  Do you get that God wants to use you for His glory no matter what season you are in? 

So, even when I am patting the back of my amazing baby boy…..    

Even when I’m resting my cheek on his sweet smelling head….

Even when I’m wiping the sleep from my eyes at 2:00AM….

I will remember that God has given me the grace for this season.  And, I will soak up every minute of it.  Because, I will blink my eyes, and it will all be over.

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Filed under God Stuff, life, Motherhood, pregnancy

What’s Going On?

Thank you, Marvin Gaye.  I’m sure you’ve all been wondering the same, no?  Well, I’ve been a bit busy.  Well, not necessarily busy in the days leading up to childbirth.  However, it was becoming increasingly difficult to reach the keyboard due to the protrusion known as my then very pregnant belly.  Then, on March 22nd, this guy entered the world.

That’s Jett Kristian Takle, weighing in at 8lbs. 15oz and measuring 20 inches long.  Such a lightweight. 

John Henry and Anna were very excited to meet the little guy.  But, Kris and I quickly realized that we did not prepare them for things like, well, breastfeeding. 

John Henry:  “So, you just put food on there, and he licks it off?”

Anna:  “Can try some of your milk?”

Loverly. 

Now that we are past the 21 questions of “he came out HOW” and “what’s wrong with his belly button,” we are adjusting nicely.  Big sister, especially, loves to help with EVERYTHING.

And, both love to hold him.

We’re pretty sure Jett loves them, too.

We are blessed.  Sleep-deprived, but blessed.

It’s good to be writing again.  I’ve missed y’all.

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Filed under Kid Stuff, Motherhood, pregnancy