Category Archives: Friendship

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.

main thing 2.JPG

We’ve been in a series called “Battles” at church. It has really had me thinking about battles I have fought that should have never been a battle at all. And, fighting those battles have led to some of my biggest hurts (usually me hurting someone) which ended up being something I regretted. As a matter of fact, the majority of my regrets in life are making a bigger deal out of something than I should have….turning a minor issue into a major one. Making the insignificant significant.

We should always know better. Most, if not all, of us have experienced really hard things that were significant. Something that puts life into perspective where we see what truly matters in life. Back in April when both of my oldest ended up in the hospital with concussions, life dramatically slowed down. Nothing else mattered during that season but making sure my children were okay. Perspective was clear and right. Yet, it’s so easy to forget once that season passes. And, suddenly we are back to letting little things become big things.

That little thing your child failed to do or did becomes a big thing. And, their little souls suffer from our lack of perspective.

That little inconvenience a friend caused becomes a big inconvenience. And, her heart is hurt from our lack of perspective.

That little oversight from your spouse becomes a big oversight. And, he is stripped down and goes to sleep feeling like he let you down from our lack of perspective.

Every time we make that little thing big, someone gets hurt. A relationship suffers. And, it’s never, ever worth it.

Ever.

You’ll read this today and maybe think to yourself, “Keep the main thing the main thing.” And, perhaps, you will today. Maybe even tomorrow. But time will pass, and you’ll forget. I’ll forget. Some little thing will happen and we will lose perspective and blow it out of proportion. Someone will get hurt, and we will regret it. We will struggle to take back those words. But, maybe if we can all start being accountable to one another by reminding each other to keep the main thing the main thing, we will stop fighting battles that should never be.

Souls will stay on fire with life.

Hearts will stay mended.

Relationships will stay in tact.

Because, we won’t make insignificant things significant. And, we won’t let significant things become insignificant. Because, what’s significant…..what really matters…..are the people in your life.

They are the main thing.

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Filed under Friendship, life, Marriage, parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized

The Future Is Female.

Anna me little

It feels like Anna has been my friend her entire life. I’m pretty sure conversations with her at age four were very similar to conversations I would have with my adult friends….with the exception of our conversations over wardrobe. However, those conversations have only evolved from “No, those ripped tights look terrible under those shorts” to “This is MY shirt, not yours.” She assumes what’s mine is hers and what’s hers is hers. I told my own mother the other day, “I am so sorry for everything I said and did when I was 13 and 14.” Mom simply responded, “Thank you.” I understand it’s the circle of life. And, I also understand that it is very hard to tell Anna she can’t wear something of mine. She usually pleads a very convincing case. She’s a smart one. She always has been. And, she’s, for sure, a strong one. And, while I journey through the victories and lessons of raising a teenage daughter, I also marvel at her intuitive strength and her eyes that always see beyond what’s in front of her. She is a force with the most gentle soul. Her evolution has been both remarkable and surprising. And, I can’t imagine my life without her. Today, she is 14. I don’t know what year 14 looks like for her or me, but I know we are both ready.

Anna me older

Anna, nothing has grown me more than being your mother. Nothing has stretched my love past the lines I didn’t know I had drawn like you have. And, I mean that in the most grateful way. Thank you for always teaching me to see more than the obvious. Thank you for taking me deeper. Thank for being you. I could list hundreds of things I love about you (and, I know you’re reading this and saying “Well, get to listing, sister!” But, I have a lot more years ahead of writing birthday blogs. So, here are 14 things I love about you, “sister”:

1) I love that you call me “sister” and everyone else “sister” when you’re excited, when you’re emphatic, when you believe strongly in something, when you are surprised, when you disagree with someone. I also love how “sister” is gender neutral as far as you’re concerned. Everyone is sister.

2) I love how you actually laugh at me now and think I’m hilarious (even though I still can’t be that way, act that way, or do that thing around your friends. Whatever.)

3) I love how easy you are to shop for. It is rare I walk into a store and don’t see something that reminds me of you. And, I love how you appreciate the oddest things, the tiniest things, and the most adorable of things. I can hear the excitement in your voice right now over the smallest, cutest succulent I placed in your room. I LOVE that excitement in your voice. You make all of life come alive.

4) I love how you balance your motivation to achieve with your need and love for cuddling up on the sofa with your hot tea, laptop, and a Netflix marathon of The Office, Queer Eye, or Grey’s Anatomy. No one can get comfier faster than you with the exception of your father.

5) I love how you understand and enjoy artists from Kristen Chenoweth to Cardi B. You don’t elevate one person over another and always appreciate the art different people bring to the table.

6) I love how you communicate so well with people of all ages. You can have conversations with 4 years olds and 74 year olds alike.

7) I love your passion for trying to understand the world and your search to find how you can contribute to it best. I promise just your presence adds to this world, because you carry HIS presence everywhere you go. You don’t have to stress over what tomorrow looks like. Just keep being present in this moment. You contribute goodness NOW.

8) I love how thankful you are for everything in your life. And, I love how when you know someone wants something, even if you love it for yourself, you always choose them over that thing. You will always draw more to you by being open to give. I know you already know this.

9) I love how you love your brothers. I especially love the relationship you have with John Henry. You have both grown and grown together. And, I love how you look back on pictures of Jett when he was little and just want to cry. You’re the proudest little momma I know.

10) I love listening to you play the piano. I sit up in the living room sometimes, and I hear you working out hard pieces. I hear the most beautiful sounds, and it makes me so proud. Sometimes, I hear your frustration, but I also always hear and feel your determination to master it. I’m so proud of you for persevering through the hard. You are mastering much more than a piece of music, Anna. You are learning to master life.

11) I love your heart for worship and how real and meaningful it is for you.

12) I love how you are a voice for the marginalized. I love how you believe and live out of the truth that every single person matters. “A strong woman stands up for herself. A stronger woman stands up for everybody else.”

13) I love how brave you are and never back down from a challenge. It doesn’t mean you’re never afraid. But, you never let fear keep you from moving forward. DON’T EVER LOSE THAT, SISTER.

14) I love your honesty. Your truth is always so raw, so real, so vulnerable, and so beautiful.

Anna 8th grade pic

Anna Takle, you are a most amazing human. You are a most amazing friend. A birthday blog or two ago I remembering writing that I could have never written a better story than the one I experience with you: as my daughter, as my teacher, as my friend. I know we are both head strong women. I know we have quite the road to travel down these next few years together. And, I know that we will do it hand in hand and with an undying determination to travel it well. I will keep teaching you, and you will keep teaching me. I love every day with you.

I love YOU.

Happy Birthday, Anna Takle. The world is a brighter (and fun) place with you in it.

Love,
Mom

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Filed under Friendship, Kid Stuff, life, Love, making an impact, Motherhood, parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized

The Warrior.

(Lynn with her sweet grandchildren)

She’s one of the greatest women of God I’ve ever known.

She loves her family the way I imagine God called all mothers and daughters to love their families.

She loves the local the church and never misses a day in His courts unless necessary.

She loves her friends, and her thoughtfulness is always evident.

I honestly don’t know many more selfless human beings than Lynn Chambers.

I really don’t know how I would have pressed through my difficult times without her encouragement.

And, I don’t know a greater prayer warrior than she.

But, I do know that she loves with a love that must melt the heart of God.

She is my prayer warrior.

And, she’s probably yours.

Happy Birthday Lynn Chambers.  I love you more than I could ever express.  Thank you for believing in the power of prayer.  It’s an honor to call you friend.

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Filed under Friendship, prayer

At All Times.

“I hope of all the qualities I have inherited from my father that being a good friend is one of them.  He is always a friend to the end.”

That was my last tweet on the Twitter last night.  If I ever want to know what a true friend looks like, I should always look my father. 

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or haven’t done.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve been embraced by thousands or rejected by the world.  Once you are his friend, you are his friend for life.

I sat alone in my living room last night and thought about the qualities that make him such a good friend.  We often tell our friends, “I’m here if you need me.”  But, sometimes, we only translate that to the big stuff – if something bad happens. 

One of my good friends called me last night and asked me if I could watch her children while she went to the doctor today.  “Sure I will,” I told her. 

It would be easy for me to say, “Girlfriend, I am so pregnant.  That’s not gonna work out for me.”  But, that’s not really being a true friend.  It’s easy to give excuses.  It’s easy to become so caught up in our schedule, our life, our families, that when a friend interrupts that routine, we almost become resentful. 

We use the term, “You have to set your boundaries.”  But, I think, often times, we misuse it.  I’ve said it many times.  “Set your boundaries!”  When really, all I need to do is set my priorities.  When my priorities are in order, I don’t’ really have to set boundaries.  I’m sure I’ll create some controversy over that one.  But, that’s how I feel.  Today.

Dad will fly hundreds of miles to be there for a friend.  And, he will drop his schedule to help a friend across the street move.  He’s always there when a friend needs him.

I want to be that kind of friend.

A friend loves at all times….  Proverbs 17:17

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Big Mama Loves Me, But She Ain’t Gonna Sing.

Birthdays are just fun.  I spent yesterday morning with my BS’ers, err, Bible Study girls.  They are the bomb diggity and were certain to not let the day pass without a little celebration.

Even if the cookie cake turned out like this:

cookie cake wp

Cindy Beall has many talents.  Decorating cakes is probably not one of them.  Once she wrote “Happy” she quickly realized she’d have no room for “Birthday Dusty;” hence, “Happy Dusty.”  Never mind the fact my friend, Janna, thought it said “Hoppy Dusty.”  Cindy did learn, however, that cookie icing is not the best for writing text.  So, I feel certain she’ll master the art next time. 

Let’s just give her that.  It was a quite tasty after all.

Janna and her youngins treated me to dinner.  She is sweet like that.  But not before Big Mama called me.

“I near ‘bout forgot your birthday ‘til Aunt Faye reminded me.”  Big Mama admitted.

“Um, thanks, Big Mama?”    

Then, I nearly busted a gut laughing when she told me, “I would sing you ‘Happy Birthday’, but there is one note I can never get on that song.”

Oh, how she brings joy to my life. 

Thank you all for your wishes, blessings, and sweet messages.  You all made me feel very special.  For real. 

Love y’all.  Mean it!

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Filed under Big Mama, Friendship, gratitude

Teachable Moments.

My sweet seven year old came home from school yesterday a little more solemn than usual.  His sober demeanor eventually turned into a seemingly sour attitude.  By this point, I was pretty much over his crabbiness that was even evident in his silence.  I addressed his current position and told him, “There is no reason for your sour attitude.”  After all, we leave for the beach in a few short days.  Life is good for him.  What gives?

As I watched him attempt to compose himself, the thought of asking him what he may be feeling occurred to me.  There ya go, Mom. 

“John Henry, is there something bothering you?”  I finally engaged him.

His response flowed so effortlessly.  A friend had “told a lie about (him).” 

“He said I told him to write on the smart board, and I didn’t.”  He went on to explain.  “He tried to make something he did all my fault.”

I loved on my son and sympathized with him.  I told him how I know that hurts. 

After bedtime readings, we prayed.  I told John Henry we needed to forgive his friend. 

“How do I forgive him?  What do I do?”  He asked.

“You choose to still love him and be his friend.”  This was the best way I knew how to explain such a powerful act to a seven year old.

I reinforced with him that it was okay to still feel hurt.  But, he couldn’t let that hurt affect his friendship.

What if I had never asked John Henry, “Is there something bothering you?”  Perhaps, it was the Spirit’s prompting.  No matter what, I’m glad I didn’t just let it go.  I’m thankful I engaged my son.

Otherwise, I would have failed to acknowledge that he was hurting.

 And, I would have missed a teachable moment on forgiveness.

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Filed under Friendship, Kid Stuff, Motherhood, Spiritual Journey

My Pre-Blogging Life: Part Three

journal entry jan 03 wp

January 16, 2003, my divorce was final.  Below is the latter part of my journal entry on that day.  If you are going through a difficult time today, I hope these words give you hope.  I hope they help you realize that in the middle of your storm, God’s presence and goodness is always there.

I know these things for certain:

1.  I’m blessed with a beautiful son.

2.  I have friends that carry me, make me laugh, and love me.

3.  My parents love me, and my happiness is their greatest concern.

4.  There is release in forgiveness.

5.  I am strong.

6.  I’m not afraid to love or put my heart on the line.

7.  I’m ready to, pardon the cliché, spread my wings and fly.

8.  Doors are wide open.

9.  It is good to laugh long and hard every day.

10. I’m better than okay.

11. God has only good things for me.

12. Tribulation produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, and character produces hope.  And, hope does not disappoint.

13. This, too, shall pass.

14. I love my life.

15. I miss my dogs.

16. I love to dance.

17. Running releases stress.

18. I’m the luckiest girl on earth.

19. I’m thankful ’02 is over.

20. I’m thankful for ’02.

Life is an incredible journey.  I learn and grow from every second it offers.  I’m in a great place, and I’ll be in a better place tomorrow.

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Filed under disappointment, divorce, Friendship, gratitude, life, Love, Spiritual Journey

The Best Investment.

Some would argue that now is the time to invest in the stock market while price tags are low.  Others would say otherwise.  Kris says it’s a perfect time to purchase an airplane.  I’ll look into my wallet and get right on that.  Real estate has always been a sure bet.  Then, this thing called a bubble deflated. 

Investments in these things can be risky.  Sometimes, they pay largely.  Other times, they drive men to bankruptcy or depression.

But, I know of an investment where you will reap rewards over and over and over again.  It’s investment into people. 

Friendships, to be specific.

Growing up, I invested into friends in Georgia.  I poured into them.  They poured into me.  Even living hundreds of miles away, I still call them, e-mail them, visit them….invest in them. 

They still invest in me.

Because, these friendships matter.

I found it difficult settling into life in Oklahoma for a very long time, because I missed the daily interaction of true, covenant friends.  Then last year, Cindy Beall found my blog (after I had been stalking hers), and said, “Hey, I’m gonna start a little bible study, and I’ve been praying about who to ask to be a part.  Well, you came to mind.  You game?”  Okay, that’s not verbatim, but pretty darn close.  I never laid eyes on Cindy until the day I walked up to her doorstep for that first bible study.  I could have easily declined, and continued on wishing I had friends surrounding me in Oklahoma. 

Could have.

But, I got off my Junior Mint eatin’ booty and went.  Walking through Cindy’s door opened up a whole new world of friendships to me.  I met Deleise, Janna, Jennifer, Christi, Robin M, Robin S, Nicole, Kim, Natalie, and Elizabeth.  We all share a love for following Christ, motherhood, and pure FUN.  Oh, and we all blog except for Elizabeth.  That girl does well to check her e-mail, but you just gotta love her cute, healthy livin’ lovin’ self.

My Georgia and Oklahoma friends pray for me.  They encourage me.  And, they will be at my front door at a moment’s notice.  Even if they have to hop on an airplane to make it happen.

Because, they’ve been my best investment. 

I love them.  They love me.  And, I can’t fathom doing life without any of them.

God created us with a need.  A need for people. 

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.  Proverbs 17:27

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Filed under Friendship, Relationships

Friends, Bacon, & Fly Hats.

I just know you’ve waited with bated breath on what we four girls did on our little getaway.  I just know you have.  No?

Well, it was fun.  We laughed.  A lot.  Just like I said we would. 

Here is a fabulous picture of the four two of us.  I tried to get everyone in this picture.  Without success.  Obviously.

girls 2 wp

I pretty much charge $0 for photo sessions.  Call anytime to schedule your appointment.

We requested “The Mothers” wear headsets and watch a movie for the road trip.  Their pick was “Napoleon Dynamite.”  They giggled like school girls. 

girls 3 wp

We really didn’t request they wear headsets.  However, whenever they would ask too many questions or say something disagreeable, our response was, “Put your headsets on.”

This next picture pretty much sums up our trip.

girls 4 wp

Bacon.  And other artery clogging foods. 

Glo-ree.

I purchased a fabulous pair of flip flops and this hat on the trip.

girls 5 wp

Guess who thinks it’s hers now?

It was fun.  And, I am oh so thankful for these friendships. 

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.  Proverbs 27:17

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Four Friends.

Today, I leave for a three day adventure with my Mom, Judy Young, and Bonnie Spencer– my friend of more than thirty-one years, who just happens to be Judy’s daughter.   Gotta love lifelong friendships.  And, it’s the first time the four of us have taken a road trip together.  I know, right?

A few things are certain for the time I’ll spend with these three:

– Laughs will be plentiful.

– I won’t go hungry.  As a matter of fact, I’m pur-tee sure I’ll OD on carbohydrates.  And, maybe even bacon. 

– Judy will laugh out loud at Bonnie and me.  I can even hear her now.

– My Mom will do most of the drivin’.  ‘Cause she’s responsible like that.

– Bonnie will talk me into getting the new iPhone 3G(S) due to be released June 19.  I won’t be a hard sale.  ‘Cause I’m responsible like that. 

– Bonnie and I will have compassion and understanding for one another as we demonstrate our ability to respond to e-mails, Twitter, text and discuss the latest trends in sunglasses all simultaneously. 

– Breakfast.  We won’t miss a one. 

– A buffet.  Somewhere.

Did I mention we’ll eat? 

I’m excited.  Very Excited.  Oh, and we won’t wear matching home-made dresses like we did Easter of 1980 something. 

In the meantime, I’m gonna run some re-runs on Thursday and Friday.  Stop  yellin’.  I’ll be back with something original on Monday.  M’kay?

Later gators.  I’m hittin’ the road. 

Love ya.  Mean it.

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