Category Archives: disappointment

Oh, But For the Grace

What is God’s grace?  A shortened version:  It’s God’s unmerited favor.  Often times God’s grace is confused with God’s mercy.  It’s by God’s mercy that I don’t really get all that I deserve.  But, it’s God’s grace that we can draw from when we go through difficult times.

Oswald Chambers writes:

The grace you had yesterday will not be sufficient for today. Grace is the overflowing favor of God, and you can always count on it being available to draw upon as needed. “. . . in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses”— that is where our patience is tested ( 2 Corinthians 6:4 ). Are you failing to rely on the grace of God there? Are you saying to yourself, “Oh well, I won’t count this time”? It is not a question of praying and asking God to help you— it is taking the grace of God now. We tend to make prayer the preparation for our service, yet it is never that in the Bible. Prayer is the practice of drawing on the grace of God. Don’t say, “I will endure this until I can get away and pray.” Pray now — draw on the grace of God in your moment of need. Prayer is the most normal and useful thing; it is not simply a reflex action of your devotion to God. We are very slow to learn to draw on God’s grace through prayer.

“To draw upon as needed….”  The measure of grace God gives someone who just lost their child is much greater than the measure of grace I might need for a financial struggle.  But, His grace is always sufficient.  No matter what situation we are in.  We just have to draw on it.

Kris and I were talking about how our life is going to change when Jett arrives.  How am I going to deal with the stresses of a newborn, two kids in school, and being so far away from my momma?  Then, I remembered when John Henry was born.

I was a single mother.  I was the only one getting up in the middle of the night with him.  I was the only one clothing him, bathing him, and feeding him.  By the time he was six weeks old, I was back at work.  I would get him up in the mornings, get him dressed and fed, and put him in his little bouncy seat.  I’d put that bouncy seat in my bathroom while I showered and got ready for work.   Then, off we’d go.

I don’t remember any moments where I was ready to pull my hair out.  I do remember an overwhelming peace in our little home.  I remember a sweet baby boy who began sleeping through the night early.  I remember not wanting to go out for New Year’s Eve, because I just wanted to spend the evening with him. 

What was it that made our first few months alone together so peaceful?  So wonderful?

I’m pretty sure it was God’s grace on my life.  I never stopped crying out to Him.  I never stopped praying that God would make something great of my disappointment in life – my divorce. 

He did.  He was faithful.  And, in the meantime of going through it all, His grace was sufficient. 

Sometimes, I forget to draw on that grace today.  That unmerited favor of God.  So, He reminds me of how His grace was sufficient when…..

And when……

And when…..

And, then?  I count my stones.

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Filed under disappointment, divorce, God Stuff, Motherhood, Spiritual Journey

What Do I Do With This Spear?

I struggle with injustice.  I find myself wanting to make wrongs right.  I want to defend.  I want to set the record straight.  I want to pick up the spear thrown at me and throw it right back.

And, I have done just that before. 

But, if we look at the life of David, we see a man who trusted God enough to not return the spears. 

I’m not speaking of those times we feel righteous anger.  A righteous anger can be a desire to defend helpless children being abused or to stop human trafficking.  This is very different from what I’m talking about.  This post is also not a means of addressing bullying as so many of you expressed to me personally yesterday.  Perhaps, the issue of bullying is one I can write on soon with the help of many whose children have experienced it.  I just don’t feel equipped to speak on that issue as effectively as it should be addressed.  And, my heart breaks for those dealing with it on a daily basis. 

This post is meant to address when people speak against our character.  When we are criticized.  When we are persecuted.  When our actions are questioned. 

It’s very hard for me to not want to return the spears.  But, after reading Gene Edwards’ A Tale of Three Kings, I see a heart in David that I want.  Although he was hunted down and tortured by King Saul, he never retaliated.  Oh, he certainly had opportunity to.  But, he didn’t.  Had he returned Saul’s spears, he would have become like him. 

I don’t want the heart of Saul.  I want the heart of David.  What I do with those spears will determine exactly what kind of heart I will have. 

David’s torture by Saul occurred in his pre-king days.  But, he didn’t know he would be king one day.  Not at this time.  Edwards writes, “These were David’s darkest hours. We know them as his pre-king days, but he didn’t.  He may have assumed this was his lot forever.”

It wasn’t his lot forever.  He would one day become king. 

It’s not our lot forever either.  Not as long as we walk in humility.  And, according to Edwards, not as long as we…..

“One, never learn anything about the fashionable, easily-mastered art of spear throwing.  Two, stay out of the company of all spear throwers.  And three, keep (our mouths) tightly closed.”

I’ll be the first to admit, keeping my mouth tightly closed is not one of my strengths.  Can I get an amen, Kris Takle?

But, I’m working on it.  God wants me broken.  Humble.  Patient.  *GASP*

If you’re struggling with forgiveness, brokenness, or spear-throwers, I highly recommend A Tale of Three Kings.  It’s an easy read but heavy on the heart.

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No Matter.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.  Ephesians 3:20 (The Message)

I love this scripture.  I especially love The Message translation. 

Yet still I sometimes overlook it.

Then, I discover it again.  And, I pray that this time, it will remain written on my heart.

Because, it is foundational to my faith.

To my life.

It is hope.

It is truth.

And, we need not forget.

That no matter what place we are in.

No matter how fiercely our battles wage.

No matter what the report reads.

No matter how high the mountain is.

No matter how long the walk through the valley takes.

No matter.

God can do anything, you know.

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Refining.

I had been frustrated with God for few days.  He wasn’t answering my prayers.  He didn’t appear to be moving on my behalf.  And, I reminded Him a time or three of my faithfulness – my investments into the Kingdom and into others.  ‘Cause, clearly, it’s all about me. 

I.Got. Nothin’.   

I probably should’ve gotten a “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth” speech.  I deserved it.

Hello, God.  Are you there?  Is this thing on?  Testing one, two, three. 

I did all of those things I know to do.  I even read and re-read “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)  I just added my own “Hmph” to the end of it.

Then, a light came on.  I was sitting at my kitchen table watching John Henry complete a few make-up assignments, and I repeated my “Hmph.”  And, the silence ended. 

He spoke. 

So, I asked….

“What are You wanting to teach me through this?”

Kind of changed my perspective a wee bit. 

Sometimes, we go through difficult situations brought on by ourselves, others, or just life circumstances.  This, we know.  What we, or I, seem to forget is that God can and will use these times to refine us.

You see, friends, we may be created in His image, but we aren’t Him.  And, He wants us to be more like Him.  So, He’ll refine us. 

Because, He love us.

And, that’s a good thing.

As the days passed, God began to make me painfully aware of some areas in my life that weren’t completely surrendered to Him – one particular area that didn’t resemble Christ in any way. 

So, I let Him begin doing some heart surgery on me.

Refining, if you will.

Tomorrow, I’ll share what that one thing is.

Do you feel God refining an area in your life?

For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver.  Psalm 66:10

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My Pre-Blogging Life: Part Four

journal entry june 03 wp

“Someone has altered the script.  My lines have been changed….I thought I was writing this play.”  – Madeleine L’ Engle

It was this last entry that I acknowledged my life, so far, was much different than I had planned.  I was divorced.  I was a single mother.  And, now I had reconnected with a gentleman named Kris Takle.  I was supposed to still be married to Bryan living in Griffin, Georgia.  Instead, I was engaged to another and soon to be living in Oklahoma. 

OKLAHOMA.

That’s far, far away.

From my family.  My friends.  My church.

But, I wasn’t writing this play.

Sometimes, our life takes a turn, because it’s the providential will of God.  Other times, our life changes its course, because of someone else’s choices.  Or even our choices.  No matter what causes the shift, I know God will turn a mess into a message.  He will heal brokenness.  He will see to it that the work He began, He’ll finish. 

Because, He’s faithful. 

God didn’t cause my shift in life.  But, He did make something really good out of it. 

I’m mean reallllly good.

Kris-kids wp

See?

So, keep holding on.  Keep pressing toward the mark.  Never, NEVER give up.

Need more encouragement?  Hop on over to my good friend, Kim’s testimony.  Seriously!  Go do it! 

He makes all things good.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God….  Romans 8:28

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My Pre-Blogging Life: Part Three

journal entry jan 03 wp

January 16, 2003, my divorce was final.  Below is the latter part of my journal entry on that day.  If you are going through a difficult time today, I hope these words give you hope.  I hope they help you realize that in the middle of your storm, God’s presence and goodness is always there.

I know these things for certain:

1.  I’m blessed with a beautiful son.

2.  I have friends that carry me, make me laugh, and love me.

3.  My parents love me, and my happiness is their greatest concern.

4.  There is release in forgiveness.

5.  I am strong.

6.  I’m not afraid to love or put my heart on the line.

7.  I’m ready to, pardon the cliché, spread my wings and fly.

8.  Doors are wide open.

9.  It is good to laugh long and hard every day.

10. I’m better than okay.

11. God has only good things for me.

12. Tribulation produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, and character produces hope.  And, hope does not disappoint.

13. This, too, shall pass.

14. I love my life.

15. I miss my dogs.

16. I love to dance.

17. Running releases stress.

18. I’m the luckiest girl on earth.

19. I’m thankful ’02 is over.

20. I’m thankful for ’02.

Life is an incredible journey.  I learn and grow from every second it offers.  I’m in a great place, and I’ll be in a better place tomorrow.

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Filed under disappointment, divorce, Friendship, gratitude, life, Love, Spiritual Journey

New Book. New Thought.

After my doctor’s appointment yesterday checking up on the littlest Takle, I had an hour or so to spare.   Barnes and Noble sounded more than appealing.  And quiet.  And they had a book waiting for me with my name on it. 

Not to mention some hot chocolate at the Café.  

Cindy Beall has been talking a lot about the book, “Leading On Empty.”  Wayne Cordeiro wrote the book with leaders in mind; however, it’s an incredible book for moms, dads, college students, doctors, garbage collectors…..

Anyone.

Wayne Cordeiro suffered from burn-out, and he shares his journey on “refilling (his) tank and renewing (his) passion.”  And, we are all susceptible to burn-out.

I’ll share more on the book once I finish it.  But, I’m really excited about the read. 

One statement in the introduction Cordeiro writes is, “Suffering will change us, but not necessarily for the better.  We have to choose that.  And it was that choosing that made all the difference for me.”

Many of us have experienced suffering on some level.  For me, my divorce was just that.  But, I didn’t become defined by my divorce.  I’m not “Dusty, the divorced chick.”

I am “Dusty, the restored, wife, mother, and child of God.” 

So, if you’re going through the fire right this moment, choose to let it change you for the better. 

And, on that note, have a great weekend!

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How Does Your Heart Beat?

The nurse listened for the heartbeat.  There was nothing.  She was certain the doctor, skilled and experienced in finding those little heartbeats, would capture it.

There was nothing. 

While we knew this was not unusual, our doctor still expressed concern and ordered an immediate ultrasound. 

Kris and I waited a grueling forty-five minutes for peace of mind.  We sat quietly, but our minds could not have been louder.  What if?  What happens if we lose this baby?  Do we try again?  What’s the follow-up procedure? 

What if?

I had just written the post on Fear.  And, I was feeling it.  Those scriptures came swirling through my mind.  “When you walk through the fire, I will be there…”   

I felt a calmness in the midst of my sudden upheaval.  No matter what happened that day, His presence would never leave me.  No matter what happened, I would not stop running after my Father. 

You see, I decided a long time ago that there were no deal breakers for me following Christ. 

None.

My heart beats for Him.  For HIS glory.  Not mine.  And, every single thing and every single person in my life are added blessings.  Because, if He never did anything else for me but give me eternity, that would be enough.

But He does more.

Because, He is so good.

Forty-five minutes passed, and we entered the room.  The technician placed the instrument on my bare belly, and we looked on a monitor and saw a vibrant, little life.

And heard the sweetest, little heartbeat.

A heart that beats for Him.

So many of you prayed.

Thank you.

We love you all,
Dusty and Kris

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Filed under disappointment, God Stuff, gratitude, Motherhood, prayer

I’ve Had Wounds.

If we’ve lived any length of time, we’ve wounded someone and been wounded by someone.  As much as I love my children, I’ve still hurt them from time to time.  I’ve become very accustomed to asking them to forgive me and acknowledging to them that I was wrong.  I instruct my children to do the same thing when they hurt one another.

“I’m sorry.  I was wrong.  Would you forgive me?”

This is a very important part of the hurt individual’s healing process.

But, sometimes, the person who hurt us doesn’t ackknowledge their wrong doing, nor do they ask for forgiveness.  And, then, we have to, on our own, choose forgiveness.

Yep.  It’s a choice.  Always.  And, it’s also an instruction from our heavenly Father.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  (Col. 3:13)  It’s just not always an EASY choice.  Especially, when we don’t feel like forgiving.  Or, we fear that if we forgive, it will seem as though what they did to us didn’t really matter.  And, let’s face it.  Some things are just much easier to forgive than others.  It’s a lot easier to forgive a friend for running late than it is to forgive a spouse for betrayal. 

But, here’s what I’ve learned from unforgiveness:

It’ll hold us captive to our wounds and what our wounds mean.  Like a prisoner.
It will cause bitterness, and bitterness can wreck our lives and the lives of others around us.

Forgiveness releases you and the person who hurt you.  It doesn’t make sin tolerable.  But, it makes us so profoundly aware of God’s mercy on us.  When we follow God’s instruction and forgive, we put ourselves in a place where He, our Healer, can mend our broken heart. 

I’ve had wounds.

And, I choose forgiveness.  Always. 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  Psalm 147:3

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All The Single Moms & Dads.

I wanted to title this post “All the Single Ladies,” but I just couldn’t make it work.  Another blog, another day. 

I’d like to introduce you to my friend, Kim Heinecke.  I met Kim in my bible study almost a year ago, and we instantly connected.  Our stories of divorce are similar.  And, our stories of how God healed our broken hearts are even more similar. 

I want you read her testimony.  Besides it being one of the most beautiful pieces of writing you will ever read, it will make you want to fall in love with your Father all over again – whether you’re single OR married. 

Kim writes:

“It is my testimony that when the Lord becomes the fountain of everything meaningful in your life – when He is your companion, your protector, your provider – you will never be lost or disappointed by what happens or doesn’t happen on your journey.”

Read Kim’s testimony here.  It’ll be the best thing you read today. 

I assure you.

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Filed under disappointment, divorce, God Stuff, Motherhood